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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Unhappy My foster Dad - Bentley - January 25th 2014, 12:42 PM

I got the news today that my foster dad - Bentley died in action while fighting for the country.

I honestly have no idea how or what to feel, do I cry? Do I express my emotions, do I what?

1961 - 2014

Rest in Peace Sir!

•We are just misguided ghost travelling endlessly•

• Knowledge is important. Words define us. We must protect our knowledge and pass it on whenever we can. If we are ever to become a society again, we must teach each other how to remain human•
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Re: My foster Dad - Bentley - January 25th 2014, 06:26 PM

Im sorry for your loss.
I think you should feel, how you want to feel. If you want to cry, then cry. You have a right to be sad.
I think you should feel what you feel, it's okay to cry, it's okay to let emotions out. If people don't like it that is there problem. You knew him, and it is very much okay to not be alright right now.

I hope you'll be okay.
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Re: My foster Dad - Bentley - January 25th 2014, 08:30 PM

Hey there.

I'm very sorry for the loss you have endured. I think it's 100% normal to cry, to be upset, to be angry in some cases when these types of situations arise. And on the other hand, sometimes these emotions take awhile to "set" in. They could take hours, days, or sometimes even weeks to be able to fully wrap your head around the idea that he has passed (i.e., going through the denial stage).

So whatever you feel, just know that it's normal. Allow yourself to vent, and then allow yourself to start the recovery process.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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Re: My foster Dad - Bentley - January 25th 2014, 09:56 PM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened! It's okay to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. Express anything that you are feeling, because it's a lot better to express it in some way, whether through crying, talking, self expression, or something else, instead of holding it all inside. Let yourself feel what you need to feel, even if it is just confusion for now, and go through the grieving process the way you think best.

Chris is right that it is okay if you need time to process what is going on, and that it may take some time for the feelings to fully set in. That is very okay. Take all the time you need.


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Re: My foster Dad - Bentley - January 26th 2014, 12:58 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, it's ok to feel however you want to feel. They're your feelings. If you do ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me!

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks

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Last edited by Thereishope; January 26th 2014 at 12:58 AM. Reason: fixing spelling
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Re: My foster Dad - Bentley - January 26th 2014, 02:17 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I understand how you may be confused about how to react. This is natural in the grieving process. Express your feeling however you would like. You'll feel so much better than if you hold it in!

Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk or need support.

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