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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Unhappy My Big Brother... - March 9th 2015, 09:54 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My big brother killed himself a few weeks ago. I didn't know how, because he seemed perfectly happy, and my okasan didn't tell me how he died. I got over it quickly, but it still made me depressed when people mentioned his name or I saw a old picture of me and him. My other big brother came home from jail and I overheard my okasan telling him the bad news, and I overheard that my brother that died had [Edited]... I miss him so much He was one of my best friends and I looked up to him. I wish he had told me something was wrong, but nothing seemed wrong, he seemed so cheery and happy... I miss him and I just wanna see him again.....

Last edited by cynefin; March 10th 2015 at 05:34 AM. Reason: Removing methods of suicide.
   
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Re: My Big Brother... - March 10th 2015, 06:03 AM

Hey,

I'm really sorry for the loss of your brother. It's hard to lose someone in general, but I can't imagine the pain you must feel knowing that your brother took his own life. Please know that this isn't your fault. Suicide is a choice, and it was the unfortunate choice that your brother made. A lot of suicidal people hide their pain very well and that is probably why no one knew that he was struggling that much.

I think your Okasan kept the method that your brother chose from you to protect you. I think she wanted to protect you from as much pain as she possibly could. Your brother may no longer be with you physically, but he may be with you spiritually depending on your beliefs. You will always have the beautiful memories with him and those cannot ever be taken away from you. Try to take comfort in remembering the nice times that the two of you had together.

The grieving process is a long one and there is no correct way to grieve. I personally don't believe that anyone ever finishes grieving for the loss of someone close to them. My best advice for you right now is to let yourself feel everything; express your feelings. Don't keep them bottled up inside. Talk to your family, see a professional, write or blog about it. Just make sure you allow yourself to express them.

Take care of yourself.


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Re: My Big Brother... - March 16th 2015, 03:29 AM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear about your brother.

It's always difficult to lose someone that you love. As Cassiopeia said, people who are struggling often hide what they are feeling so those around them don't know.

I would try and talk to someone about how you're feeling or do something that you love to do whether it be spending time with friends or the like.

I hope I helped and if you ever need to talk to someone, my inbox is open.


   
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