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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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thelittlebear Offline
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Unhappy death of grandfather - April 10th 2015, 07:41 PM

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This may seem odd but when I was 8 my grandpa died of cancer. Before that we where really close and he helped raise me, when my father couldn't. Of course I was young and didn't know what to do, so I always blamed myself for what happened, even tho I know it wasn't. When my family and I moved it was hard on me, since that house had so many memories of him, and ever since then I've felt more and more lost, almost ready to give up.
   
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Re: death of grandfather - April 11th 2015, 02:29 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't think it's odd that you're still grieving the loss of your grandfather. He helped raise you; he was a big part of your life and your feelings are understandable. I don't think anyone ever truly finishes grieving the loss of someone they love. There isn't a right or wrong way to grieve, so give yourself some time with all of this. Be sure to express how you're feeling. Don't keep it inside, because it'll only make it worse.

Perhaps you can look through some pictures you may have of him. Maybe you can scrapbook, or recreate the memories by drawing or writing about them. You can also use those memories to create a safe place that will help you escape when your feelings become too much to handle. Bring yourself back to a memory of your grandfather by visualizing it. Try to remember the sounds, scents, tastes, and feelings that go with the memory. Once you do that, you can think of that memory whenever you need to reflect on something. You might benefit from writing a letter to your grandfather to get some closure.

I'm glad you know that his death was not your fault. It's hard to let go of people, and that makes it easy to think it's your fault or that there was something you could have done to save him. But, there is nothing you could have done but be by his side. I'm not sure what you believe in, but I'd like to think that although your grandfather is not physically present, he is here in spirit and in memory.


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