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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Confused68 Offline
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Unhappy Taken - May 15th 2017, 08:47 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

When I was younger my brother was stabbed and taken away in a flash there was no goodby no sorry and no time to grieve. I put on a lot of extra weight because it and I still continue to do so I am much more happier now but I still get upset and I still get angry after this I lost two other family members and ever since my life has just started spiralling and I feel like I'm trapped and I have no one to actively speak to
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Re: Taken - May 15th 2017, 09:47 PM


I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your brother, especially in such a horrid way. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like for you, especially as you've lost other people since. I think that it's very natural to still get upset and angry even now. Grieving is something you can do your whole life; it's less about moving on and more about learning to carry on. If you're happier now, that's amazing, but the sad days are normal and ok. You can be upset for losing people, I think that's a very natural way to feel.

Do you feel like your life is spiralling because of losing your brother, or is it possible that it's other factors too? I know you say you have nobody to talk to but is there a family member who you may be able to speak to about it? They will know how you feel probably as they're going through a very similar process of grieving too. Family can be such a wonderful way to get throgh something like this, so lean on them if you can. Otherwise, is there a way you might be able to talk to a professional about this? Counsellors can be very good at dealing with grieving and may be a really helpful option for you.

As well as doing this, you could try letting out how you feel in healthy ways too. You could, for instance, write your brother a letter and tell him what has happened since he passed away. What has changed? What would you love to tell him if you had the chance? You can also tell him how you feel without having to worry that nobody is listening. Whether you believe the letter will reach him somehow or not, it might help to get your feelings down onto paper as that way, they're not trapped inside your head anymore. You could also go and see him if he is buried/cremated near by and take him some flowers and talk to him there. Family of mine often go to the cemetary and speak to people we have lost for hours at a time. It can be quite therapeutic and may help you feel closer to your brother too.

Remember that it's ok to be upset. If you cry, that's ok too. It's a healthy response. I can tell you loved your brother very much and still do now, so if there is a place he can watch over you from, I hope he is.

If you need to talk, I'm always happy to receive PMs, so never worry about not having someone to talk to. You can send me a message any time and I'll be there if I can be.

Look after yourself. You can do this.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

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