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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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claire.ellen Offline
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what do i do. - January 4th 2010, 12:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

what am i supposed to do when ive just come to terms with my mothers death, and then my close friend dies.
she was only 19 and it was a freak accident. just bad rain conditions and her dad lost control of the car and they hit a tree. she wasnt even driving. and he walked away uninjured.
is it bad that im running away to a different state to be with my best friend even if it means missing the funeral. i just cant go. im not mentally stable to go.
why is hurt and pain such a constant in my life. i dont know what to do.
im sorry.
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Re: what do i do. - January 4th 2010, 03:10 AM

Hey Claire. I'm soo sorry to hear about your friend and your Mom. I know somewhat how you feel because my uncle died two months before my friend was killed in a car accident. I know you're feeling so horrible right now, but I want to remind you that it does get easier. As for going to the funeral, you have to do what's right for you. If you don't think you can handle going, then don't, but you might also regret not going in the long run.

Remember the good times you had with your friend. She will always be with you now, and is your guardian angel! You also can talk to her still, if you want. I found that writing letters to my deceased family and friends helps a lot too.

Hang in there because it gets better. <3

There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
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Re: what do i do. - January 4th 2010, 05:44 PM

Hey Claire,

I am so sorry to hear about this. Losing your close friend after just comnig to terms with losing your mum must have brought up an awful lot of emotions. It is so sad that someone so young has lost their life through a car accident and that her dad walks away uninjured. If you don't feel up to going to the funeral then that is ok. You have to do what you think is best because you don't want to be left feeling worse after going to the funeral.

You won't always be in this much hurt and pain; the hurt and pain can lessen in time. I think time is a healer and you just have to allow yourself to grieve and let out how you are feeling. Just remember you are not in this alone. Someone here will always listen. Stay strong.
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Re: what do i do. - January 4th 2010, 05:51 PM

"When you're going through hell, just keep going."

Try and go to the funeral. It helps for closure. Not that day or the next day, but...well, I guess you know how long greiving takes.

Good luck.

If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires

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Re: what do i do. - January 5th 2010, 08:18 PM

If you are too weak to go to the funeral, then don't go. But when you are strong enough, go and visit the burial site so that you may say your final goodbye's. And by the way, its not bad that you are running away. No, it certainly is not. It is perfectly understandable.
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Re: what do i do. - January 7th 2010, 09:50 AM

My advice would be stick around for the funeral. Its an important part of saying goodbye to your friend - think of it this way, its the only funeral of hers you would ever be able to go to - you can go to another state any time! I'm sorry for your loss. But let the grieving process begin. Don't block it out.


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Ryan1 Offline
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Re: what do i do. - January 7th 2010, 09:26 PM

As others have said I feel as though you should be there for the funeral its just a healthy way to get all those feeling out you’ll feel much better if you go.
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Re: what do i do. - January 16th 2010, 07:03 AM

i ended up going to melbourne to spend the week with my best friend. and it completley backfired. i felt more alone than anything. i felt like i lost my close friend and my best friend in a way. but im stronger now. a little bit anyway. i dont think anyone could feel more hurt than i did over the past two weeks, but its that pain that has made me stronger.

it will all get better in time. i know that so that is what is getting me through this.
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