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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ProjectD Offline
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Guilt - April 5th 2010, 05:00 AM

One of my many things I contemplate is the death of my grandmother. I feel guilt for I did not griev as much as I thought I would. I was sad at the funeral, nor did I hear of any will.

We were close. I visited her house alot, that is until we moved into Northern California. I saw less and less of both friends and family up here. Amd eventually came the day when we recieved the news. I didn't grieve to much afterwards. It was strange, I didn't feel sad, nor happy about it. Now, I don't really know what to make of it.

I am different.
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These are the things that make me a Slave to Knowledge.
- ProjectD
"As a Slave to Knowledge I have the freedom to be as knowledgeable as I am ignorant."
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Em... Offline
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Re: Guilt - April 5th 2010, 08:41 AM

Hey Project,
Guilt, grieving, emotions to an event, people are subjunctive to. People feel different things, react to different events it's all up to the individual.
In my personal opinion, I don't believe you need to feel guilty about how you reacted to your Grandmother's death. You reacted that way, and of course you cannot change how you reacted. It's probably best to try to forgive yourself for what happened then you can come to peace with yourself. It's okay to feel things, it's okay to feel guilty, but you have to come to terms that you cannot change the past and so the best thing you can do is forgive yourself.
I hope you're okay. PM me anytime.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
captain_obvious Offline
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Re: Guilt - April 19th 2010, 12:23 AM

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

As for the grieving part, I think that people have different ways of grieving for a loss of a loved one. Don't feel bad about how you grieved for your grandmother.

However, if it becomes too problematic for you, I would suggest talking to someone you trust. It may be difficult, but it did help me through the grieving process.

"People simply disappeared, always during the night. Your name was removed from the registers, every record of everything you had ever done was wiped out, your one-time existence was denied and then forgotten. You were abolished, annihilated: vaporized was the usual word."

George Orwell

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Re: Guilt - April 20th 2010, 12:00 PM

Hey hun,
I know from personal experience about losses of family members, and well I just want to ask how long it has been since her death? Like EmiLeigh and madden said, everyone grieves differently. For me, I really don't know what to feel unless I have one of those days.. where everything just hits me, and I feel something. My great-grandma died two years ago in September, and I was really close to her. I have guilt for not seeing her as often, and even for not seeing her one last time, because we had a chance to see her.. and we thought she would make it till the next day. This last year, I lost my grandma, my uncle, and my dad all within a month. It was really hard for me, and still is. But I know that feeling that you have. All too well. Don't feel guilty for not seeming to be grieving, in my opinion you are still grieving. I am here if you ever need to talk! Pm me anytime!

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”



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