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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Kristy Offline
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Unhappy Friend's Mom - May 17th 2010, 09:33 PM

So, my best friend's mom passed away a few days ago due to breast cancer. I haven't seen him for the past couple of days, and I'm worried about how he's doing. When he returns to school, I have no idea how to talk to him. I don't want to say anything insensitive, especially since I've never had a terrible loss such as his. I posted on his facebook that I was praying for him (like everyone else), but I want to do more for him without hurting him. Maybe it's best to just not say anything? Any tips/ideas?

PS: sorry if I posted this in the wrong area. I just thought that maybe someone in this area could relate to how he's feeling.

Last edited by Kristy; May 17th 2010 at 09:41 PM.
   
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Re: Friend's Mom - May 18th 2010, 12:41 AM

Hey Kristy,

Since your friend is a guy, he will probably want to uphold his reputation in front of his friends. I wouldn't say anything to him in public, but if he seems extra sad, maybe do something to cheer him up. He needs as many friends as he can get right now, without being suffocated by yalls kindness.
   
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Re: Friend's Mom - May 18th 2010, 05:49 AM

hi well i've lost a few people i love and i find that my friends help the most, but not by talking about it so much as just hanging around with me and keeping my mind off things but that's just me and everyone deals with death in a diferent way.

but just be there for him and im sure he'll feel better
   
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Re: Friend's Mom - May 18th 2010, 10:34 PM

Hey.

I'm really sorry to hear that

You have to remember that your friend is having a really rough time right now, and is probably experiencing a lot of different emotions that he's never felt before. Have you considered going to the funeral? I found that when my friends came to my Aunts funeral that it just helped knowing I had support.

When you see him again, don't treat him differently. Don't go out of the way to bring up his mom. Chances are, tons of other people will be doing that exact thing. He's already had to deal with enough, let alone the looks and talks that will go on between students when he goes back to school. Just let him know you're there to talk if he needs it, but don't push the subject.

As Isaac said, just hang around with him, see if he would like to go out and do something, invite him over etc. Don't make it over the top, or else it will seem like you feel sorry for him. Take care, I hope things work out (;


It's better to cross the line &
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than to just stare at the line
for the rest of your life.

   
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