Mommy

[Evanescent]

Today is my Mommy's birthday. She would be 43. I miss her so much. Why did she have to go? Why did she take so many pills? Why was hurting so bad? I wish it would have been me. I would give anything to give her her life back, even if that ment giving up my life. My brothers and sisters need her, I need her. She didn't deserve to die. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Every minute of everyday she's in my mind. My dad won't take me to the cemetary to visit her. He says he just tries to forget about it. I can't do that. I don't ever want to forget about her. One of the most important people in the world to me died because a disease called Lymphoma put her in so much pain that she took too man pain pills and died. I love her, I will always love her. I never want to forget about her, she was my Mommy.

[LiveLongAndProsper]

Hey Nicole.
I don't know how you're feeling, but I can imagine how hurt you feel.
Perhaps forgetting her is what's best for your father, but it obviously isn't what's best for you, and you don't need to forget.
Try and remember the good things about your mother, and not how it was at the end. Remember any nice things you did together or conversations you had. Try talking to your brothers and sisters, remember her together. It's ok to cry over people, but it's also ok to smile and laugh when you remember the nice things. And remember how much she loved you.
Is there anyone else who can take you to the cemetery, like an aunt or grandparent or friend's parent? Or try explaining to your dad how important it is to you?
Remember, I'm always here for you. x

[Kristen♡]

Aw Nicole, hon, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. That's rough. I lost my dad so the hurt is all too familiar for me. I'm sure you understand that your dad is doing what's best for him to cope- even if it's not what's best for you. Don't be upset with him, I don't think he realizes what it would mean to you to visit her grave. Try to find someone else to take you. In the meantime, Hester listed some great ways to cope. Things will get better over time, love. I know it's hard. You have us to talk to when you need it. <3

[Evanescent]

Thank you Hester and thank you Kristen. It means a lot that you replied. I do try to remember the time before she was in pain but I was so young, it's difficult. There's not really anyone else to take me to the cemetary but I am getting a gas scooter within the next two months so I will be able to visit her then. We rarely talk about her because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable.

Kristen, I'm sorry that you lost your dad, it's one of the hardest things to happen.

[missmolly]

If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me, I know what its like to loose a mum. Xx Stay strong your mum would want the best for you. Never Forget that it isnt your fault shes gone.

[Evanescent]

Thank you, Molly. I'm sorry you lost your mom too.