Triggering: feel him there

[Kira-Kira]

i lost ty about 4 years ago but the last couple of nights i felt like he was there holding me and each night it gets stronger like thinking im hearing his voice smelling him there im still getting over his death i loved him so much i dont know if its flashbacks because i been really depressed lately i dont know what to do people would just think im going crazy but i know what im feeling or seeing i just feel so confused and its not making things easier it makes me miss him so much more just remembering how much it felt so good to have him there some nights i would just let it be and let it hang there i wont get up to make it go away or anything i would just lay there wishing for it to never go away it just makes me wish i was with him in heaven right now

[Raining Glitter]

I'm sorry you lost him. Losing someone close can be very difficult.

Now what I'm about to say is more my religious opinion, and I don't mean to offend anyone by saying this. I fully acknowledge it is my opinion and not fact.

I think maybe it's him checking on you, letting you know he still loves you can cares about you. You definitely aren't crazy for believing this. I've experienced a few family deaths and "coincidences." My family believes in angels. I know some people might think it is silly, but every time a family member would die, weird stuff would happen. I don't mean weird like paranormal activity weird- I mean extreme good luck, the right boost that has never happened before.

An example would be when my uncle died this summer from cancer. He was good enough at golf where he could have went pro, but for some reason he never did. A week after he died I was able to find this one golf pro teacher who completely changed my swing. Change as in from my "swinging like a kindergartner" swing (as described by my mom) to something that could be considered a golf swing. He would have me pay for 30 min. but teach me for an hour- an hour and a half at times, while the pay was already cheap for 30 min. It was like a miracle.

Or when my grandma died, my Mom was able to get the job she needed to keep my family afloat.

With what is happening to you, he might be just trying to say he loves you and doesn't like seeing you upset that he's up in Heaven. When my Grandmother and Grandfather died, they would come into my siblings dreams to not only let them know it's okay, but to also let my mother know.

Haha and my family has these cute little things with angels, like saying when you hear the ringing in your ears, it means that your guardian angel/someone your missing is whispering encouragements in your ears. Or when you find a random little feather on you, it means your guardian angel/someone your missing was just there visiting.

I could go on and on and on about all the stuff that has happened. This is more my family beliefs, so I'm not sure what you want to believe. It might be a coincidence or it might not. I hope you feel better though!

[Kira-Kira]

Thanks it's just not making things better I been sleep walking apparently calling his name and I would wake up to my sister yelling at ke that he is dead and I would just cry

[Raining Glitter]

It could be stress and grieving. Grieving is a complicated process. It is just like having a physical injury- you might "accept" he's gone, but you haven't truly accepted it yet. You might accept your injury, but you try to still work on that injured leg. Sometimes people try to force their way through the grieving stages so they could move on and not be upset. Although I think it is a good think to not let the past hold you back, rushing is just as bad. You can't force that leg to heal quicker no matter how hard you try. It is the same with grieving. You might try to not focus on missing him, since it can be very painful, but at the end of the day you realize how much you truly miss him. It can be very hard.

Whether it is him or not, it sounds like you are stressing yourself over it.

You might be in the grieving stage of Depression, and you might have Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood-which is when someone gets depressed after a major change in life. How you want to sit in bed forever, sensing him hugging you almost like he is there. I'm not exactly positive since I am a teenager, not a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/types-of-depression/

Here's a link about the different types of Depression, including some that might come up with while you are grieving. I recommend you try looking at this site-it talks about how grieving works, how different depression disorders happen, and endless of other mind-involved difficulties, disorders, and illnesses. On the website, to the left is different links about depression, including symptoms. Looking at these might help you figure out what's going on. If you click on the other articles of depression, they list dozens of articles, including coping methods. No harm in checking it out, right?

I would like to restate again that I'm not a professional, so I can't exactly help you too much. I'm going by my own experience of loss, depression, and of the knowledge I gain by meeting a numerous of different people. I'm just stating possibilities

Be happy to share any emotions and feelings. I know it can be very hard but at least getting off your chest helps.