is something wrong with me? Do I care or not? Trigger I guess.

[girlfromsocal]

My dad died when I was 18 weeks or so old in the womb. I never really cared. Like I've never been sad for him. I've made jokes on him. Never hated him though. Loved him for that. I loved him for being dead. I never felt sad for that. I feel like maybe life would've been worse. But I mean everything him and his death isn't painful for me. He was murdered and my mom always was traumatized by it she couldn't even tell me what happened to him. It was too painful for her. But for me I've never really felt anything. If anything like "well too bad dude". But nothing else. Is that odd that I don't care. I do love him more of two parents because my mom was shitty but I never mourned him not even as a child. I just never cared. I never knew him. But I've split with others without caring too.

[ALLorNOTHINGforCHRIST]

What do you mean you do not care? Do you mean you are GLAD you never knew your dad? Do you mean you never knew him and thus there is no connection? If it is the second one then I would not say you don't care I would say that since you never knew him you just never developed a connection.

[Chris.]

Sometimes at a young age we just never develop this connecting feelings. Remember - you never met him, and you didn't know him - so often its hard to be upset about someone being hurt or dying when you don't even know them. Don't feel bad or be upset about not caring - because Like I said, its hard to care about those you never met or don't know.

But to some degree - there should be alittle bit of grief. Sure, maybe your life would have been worse, but it also could have been better - no one knows.




Best wishes,
Chris

[girlfromsocal]

both I think. When I was a child I never cared becua se I didn't know I was supposed to and I didn't know him. Later on I guess people said stuff his excessive drinking or that he was mentally disabled. And like maybe not ready to be my dad. And all. So I sometimes feel like he's a better dad this way. And plus I had hell with my mom. If he was like her I don't know where I'd be now...

[Audacious]

Hey there

There is nothing wrong with you. Yes, he was your biological dad. The fact that your mom was so deeply impacted may also put pressure on you to feel some kind of emotion towards his death. But this is similar to watching the news and hearing of a murder of somebody who you have never met, don't know anything about, and it happened in a different town. You didn't know him and had no connection emotionally to him.

Your feelings are your feelings. Nobody can tell you that you should or should not be upset about what happened. Some people aren't even upset after people they knew have passed on for one reason or another. Your feelings are yours and nobody else's.

Take care, and remember, there is nothing wrong with you

Jen

[CourageCounts203]

I have a question. My uncle died a few years ago.....I was never saddened by this....does that make me a bad person? Me not caring? I was only sad 4 the people in my family who cared about losing him...

[girlfromsocal]

my mom said before she had an issue with her half sister that she wouldn't care if she lived or died. I think it's usual if they're not close. Like my great aunt drunk herself to death when I was 9 I didn't care really....