Scared.

[blumemusik♫]

Basically, my grandad is dying. He has a lot of breathing problems and they're getting rapidly worse. I've only just found out really, he didn't want my mum to tell me, but she had to let me know he's not going to get better.
Two weeks ago, when I last saw him, he was almost okay, just a bit short of breath if he walks around for too long. Now though, he can't make it up the stairs so he has a bed downstairs and there are oxygen tanks everywhere because he can barely move from room to room.

I'm scared.

He's an old man, yes, he's 80-something. But I'm terrified, because nobody close to me has ever died before. The closest person to me who's died was my great grandma late last year, but that didn't bother me too much because I hadn't seen her in years and I couldn't speak to her because she was german and last time I saw her I didn't know the language.

Basically I'm just terrified for the sit down discussion of "Kids, grandad's gone" or whatever. My mum was crying before over it, and i just know I'm going to break down crying. I'm not sure what to do, this is all new to me.

[Chris.]

I just want to say that my Grandfather is also in very poor condition and has to be on a oxygen tank 24/7 (hes 70-something).

I kind of know what you are feeling - but at the same time I don't. I have lost a few people close to me, but as a person we sometimes have to understand that we lose those we love. If your grandfather is in his 80's, than you are able to say that he lived a pretty good life. Unfortunately we find people way younger who pass - which is obviously a tragedy.

To answer your question, there isn't much you can do. To be honest, all you can do is visit him as often as possible, and try to spend your time wisely with him. Other than that you really cant do much.

Now often people ask what will happen after someone passes - how will I feel. In all honesty we all feel sadness, and grief, but when people die at an older age and have lived a pretty good life, we also feel happy and relieved. Why do people feel relived and happy? Because obviously your grandfather is struggling in some way (like not being able to breath). He also has lived a pretty good life; so therefore alot of people will find the passing alittle relieved that he wont have to struggle or hang on any more. Of course, everyone will still feel sadness.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I don't know your religion, however I just wanted to say that you may lose relative, but you will gain an angel.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.



Best wishes,
Chris