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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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anony mouse. Offline
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Exclamation Holy Sh*t. - October 16th 2009, 04:38 AM

Can't believe I'm putting this all down, but here goes...

My friend J was being bullied by these girls. Actually, it was one girl and she was getting all these older girls to come and basically gang up on her. I was there when it happened, but being me I decided to help her out by basically helping her ignore them no matter what they said. The worst part was that she was so nervous and scared beforehand she started crying in class and had to go out of it.

Now, this girl who sicced the older girls on J was named NW. I was on Facebook one night (for htose of you who don't know, it's a social networking website) and my friend S put on her status "just watched this weird porn thing". This guy JJ commented on her status and put "ur to ugly to watch porn that's why the girl looked away". I was really good friends with S so I commented back to him and said "JJ shut up!" in addition to some other stuff. So this girl NW gets on there and says to me, "um, your an idiot." and some other junk. I got all indignant and the conversation digressed from there. In the end, she said that she would basically fight me the next day at school. I agreed, figuring she would just back out of it.

So the next day came around and nothing happened...until lunch. Me and some of my friends were sitting outside on the field, just hanging out. I saw NW and her big group of friends (they're considered 'popular') sitting near us, but I thought nothing of it. I saw JG, one of NW's guy friends, coming over to us (mainly me) with a bottle of water, uncapped. He then proceeded to dump the whole thing on me!

I was really mad by then because it was just humiliating. I had been brushing my hair when it happened, so I charged after him while still holding my hairbrush. But then I kinda thought about it and figured that NW put him up to it. So I redirected myself to her and called her a bitch and stuff. She then proceeded to deny that she had ever talked to me on Facebook! I was so mad that I just clocked her one in the head with the brush.

I was almost crying just from the stress and everything. NW was holding her head and all of a sudden I just wanted to go home. But then I heard that NW's friend JR was coming over to bitch me out, which she did. I went back over to my friends but some of them had left. All of NW's friends (and some other people as well) made a big circle around me and just threw every insult they could come up with at me as well.
In the end I just went over to the principal (who was outside) and told him everything. Both me and NW had to go to the office, but he talked to her for about 20 mins beforehand. When I got in, him and the counselor were in there and so was NW. Both the counselor and the principal bawled me out and didn't listen to my side of the story at all.

We both got sent home (NW because of her head) and my dad had to come and get me.

This happened around the end of last year. Now, this year, no one has let up on it. Since the incident, a lot of people have been picking on me and one time on the bus about 5 people ganged up on me, calling me a bitch, whore, etc etc etc. And during the summer, one guy called across the street that I was a bitch. On Facebook, one of NW's friend messaged me calling me a faggot. And there were all the little incidents inbetween.

I thought it would all blow over but it hasn't happened. People are still bringing it up, even saying that NW kicked my ass when that wasn't what happened at all.

I want it to stop so badly it hurts.
What do I do?
   
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Re: Holy Sh*t. - October 17th 2009, 12:16 AM

isn't there anyone you can talk to? any parent or someone you trust? if not, then i strongly success going to the police and charging them with harrasment, because if anyone can make them leave you alone, the police can. and never be afraid to stand up for yourself and let the truth be known.
   
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Re: Holy Sh*t. - October 17th 2009, 05:45 AM

well i have but everyone keeps basically telling me to suck it up and that they'll forget about it. it's been three months just about. no one's forgotten.
   
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Re: Holy Sh*t. - October 20th 2009, 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by desert.writer6162 View Post
My friend J was being bullied by these girls...I decided to help her out by basically helping her ignore them no matter what they said.
There's no shame in helping out a friend. It is unfortunate that by helping someone else, you hurt yourself. But then again, there is a difference between the easy thing (ex: joining the bullies) and the right thing (ex: being alone because you don't pick on others).


Quote:
Originally Posted by desert.writer6162 View Post
She then proceeded to deny that she had ever talked to me on Facebook! I was so mad...
If Facebook destroys you, don't use it. There is a statistic: the more you reveal about yourself online, the more desperate you are for friends. Probably those jerks you ran into are desperate guys looking for friends. Don't play the game (Facebook) if you don't win.


Quote:
Originally Posted by desert.writer6162 View Post
Both me and NW had to go to the office...the counselor and the principal bawled me out and didn't listen to my side of the story at all.


The school staff probably did that so the situation wouldn't be messy to deal with for them. Less work for them, even if it's not justice. I once wasn't allowed to play a game with a group, and when I became all depressed and obvious about it, the staff tried to figure it out. In the end, those jerks told the staff that I had to wait 2 minutes before the new game to play. That wasn't true of course. But the staff believed them, to make it not messy for them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by desert.writer6162 View Post
Now, this year, no one has let up on it. Since the incident, a lot of people have been picking on me... I thought it would all blow over but it hasn't happened. People are still bringing it up, even saying that NW kicked my ass when that wasn't what happened at all.


Those guys must be very sad and low. They pick on you so they feel as if they are together. It's like being friends. You have a common interest, they have a common enemy. And they make lies that glorify themselves as super powerful to build on the common things. They are just prolonging a failed union. There was a bunch of jerks in my school who picked on several people. These victims transferred out. Eventually, there is nobody to pick on so they make lies to keep it going. But that fails eventually, and they are the loners, not other people who they called them as one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by desert.writer6162 View Post
I want it to stop so badly it hurts.
What do I do?
I frankly don't think there is anything you can do. Believe in yourself. Don't talk to them. Let them run out off topics and lies about you. I don't think there is no end in sight though. Just win the battle. Don't commit suicide and let them win. Show them whose boss!

What happened to the friends you were talking about? Can they help you out? If not, I guess you can be thankful that those jerks picked on you - now you know who's evil in your circle. Better to know now than later when it could cost you a job or the like.

Both way, you might want to consider getting out into clubs or the like. They serve as safe havens away from those jerks, and you get to know new people. Those new guys may be nice guys.

Good luck. I hoped I helped.
   
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Re: Holy Sh*t. - November 1st 2009, 02:48 PM

Hold tight to any friends of yours. They are your best protection. Even if they're the kind of person who will let you sort out your own problems and not talk to you, they'll still help. If people gather around you and your friends, say to your friends that you want to go somewhere else. They'll understand, and chances are the bullies will be too lazy to follow.
Try talking to the principal or a member of staff you trust. Persist. Keep your cool at all times and make them see that they can't just choose the easy way out as they've done before. Ensure something happens. If the staff fail to make a difference, then do what SuburbanTiger7 suggested and go to the police.

Words have no power if nobody listens. They are lying: what they say means nothing. Wait it out. Don't let them see how much they get to you -- I know it's hard but if you get the hang of it, they'll think they can't touch you. It sounds like the bullying is all verbal, that's good. By bullying you verbally, they are giving YOU the power to control how much it hurts.

Never give in.
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Re: Holy Sh*t. - November 5th 2009, 03:08 AM

My advice would be to laugh it off. When people say she whipped your ass, just be like "yeah, and I whipped her head good with that hairbrush!" and laugh about it. Honestly, the more they realise its silently bothering you, the more they'll say it. And I think it's hilarious you clocked her in the head with a brush. Anyways, if that doesn't work, try just talking to your school counciler about it. Just keep talking until someone listens. Good luck!


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Re: Holy Sh*t. - November 5th 2009, 03:48 AM

Hey!
The above posts have mentioned many ways that would help you!
I would just like to say that, no one can hurt you without your consent!
No matter what people say, if you know the truth and who you really are, I don't think it matters what they say. I know it may seem hard to stay strong, and when you are strong about one thing, something else comes up from behind and adds to the pain and humiliation. It's understandable, you feel like you can't hold on any more.
But honestly, unless you let their words and actions affect you, it won't!
And mostly, bullies tend to hurt people who they find react to what they do or say. And usually they are the ones who are insecure about themselves and see some quality in you that they wish they had so they try to suppress yours.
I think, and I'm just suggesting, that you let them lead their own life, and you lead yours and hold on to your true friends. They may be able to help you get through this better!
I really do hope things get better!!
Hugs
<3

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Re: Holy Sh*t. - November 8th 2009, 07:25 AM

now i'm worried about my two other friends..they have started hanging out with the bullies and subsequently started acting differently to me (and not in a good way).
i'm sad because i used to be really good friends with one of them
   
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