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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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sweety Offline
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Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 9th 2010, 08:36 AM

Ok soo bascially it all started with these two guys who wanted a fling i basiclly said no it aint happening but i spoke to one of my mates about it all and at the time we were close... then within a few days im not sure what happened but we just drifted aprt since then shes told ppl about this whole thing with the two guys and its got round and now everyone blaming me saying im spreading rumours??

is it my fault?? is it a form of passing the buck along?? what do i do next??

i hate going into sixth form and i really have no one left to trust
   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 9th 2010, 03:35 PM

Well it sounds like your friend is a bitch
Get rid of her. Quick.

Also? With the guys? Well thats your personal life.Your decision. However, if you think they can't keep their mouths shut, get rid of them.

The most important part of friendship is trust. I'd rather have no friends then friends I can't trust.



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Make it your business to start some fires




   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 10th 2010, 05:14 AM

Well no, thats not spreading rummors, cause its the truth. If some starts blaming you, say thats what you think happened.
Make sure they know you don't give a damn about anything say. You know what really happened and thats the truth so. You can tell them what really happened if they want to know, but otherwise just say "thats what you think happened, stop listening to rumors." Be strong towards it and it will soon go away.


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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 10th 2010, 08:22 PM

Yes, this is bullying.

Your friend is lying about you, and isolating you from other people. You clearly don't know why, but if this kind of disloyalty is what she's going to give you whenever you drift a little, then I'm afraid to say she isn't much of a friend. You may not feel like you're better off without her, but believe me, in the long run this is a good thing.

They say a rumour lasts 75 days -- so wait it out is my advice. People will forget, become apathetic and move on. Since it's a lie, there's no evidence, and it's unlikely people will be treating it seriously. It's even possible the reputation of these two guys will undermine it anyway. Be strong, and give it time.

If you can't bear waiting it out, then go to a member of staff about it, and see if they can do anything. Explain the situation thoroughly, and even if nothing can be done immediately, since it's gossip, it will at least feel better to have been said. If things get really bad, you can consider transferring to a different college; still, only leave this until you feel you can never repair this. As it stands, this isn't widespread bullying, it's just one girl and some Chinese whispers. Remember to smile when you're confronted with this, and brush it off like it's nothing. Don't give any more information than they already have -- that way, the rumour will die faster.

I suggest seeing if you can make some new friends, if you have none to rely on through this. Try hanging around in social spots, talking more to people you feel comfortable around. If someone seems like a nice person, then go for it. If it doesn't work out, that's fine, you can move on. It won't be quick or easy, but there isn't a quick fix for friendship, so be persistent and you will find someone worth your time. And once you have a friend by you, everything will be more bearable.

Good luck. PM me anytime.
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 12th 2010, 11:56 AM

Thank you guys.. its really boosted my self confidence i dont talk much to her anymore and im trying to keep my distance. im waiting it out and the rumours seem to have calmed down a bit and i guess with time they will disappear. Thank you sooo much xxx
   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 12th 2010, 09:13 PM

Our pleasure, (or my pleasure at least)

Its been a while since we've had feedback, so thanks alot!

Hope it all goes well for you! have fun!


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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 16th 2010, 10:03 PM

Wow. Your 'best friend' is a bitch. Ditch her, find some better ones.
Yes it is also bullying. If it's really getting to you, maybe you should talk to a teacher about it? They're normally pretty good at dealing with this sort of stuff.
   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 22nd 2010, 07:12 PM

Thanks soo much guys, i have spoken to my teacher but i dont want to be called a grass i mean apparently ive done something to upset her?? but i seriously cant think what it is and i hate going school everyday cus i can feel everyone just looking at me thinking when is she going to go kind of thing?? i mean ive got other friends and i get along well with them but its put me in a situation...
   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 26th 2010, 01:38 AM

well, it's a good thing you stopped hanging out with this friend, she sounds quite abusive. hopefully this whole thing will blow over and u can get on with ur life.
   
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Re: Not sure who to trust.... is it a form of bullying?? - March 27th 2010, 05:52 AM

Wow that is pretty harsh.
   
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