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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy I told on a bully... - March 12th 2010, 01:54 AM

Sorry the first paragraph will be a little long, but it provides the necessary background information:

There is a kid in my Spanish class who gets bullied all the time. The class is mainly composed of freshman, but there are a few juniors, including myself. At first they would occasionally make fun of him, but eventually they all began to gang up on him. I could not sit there and watch them do that to him, an innocent child. I knew that my teacher would not do anything because she is way too nice to yell at them and they do not respect her anyway. I decided to go to another teacher and ask for advice; he helped me out and sent an email to the guidance counsellor that had the name of the kid being bullied in it. That was on Wednesday morning. Wednesday afternoon during class my teacher made all of the kids sit in their assigned seats (they normally just sit wherever the please) and the kid did not get bullied, so I was pretty happy. This morning the teacher who helped me out asked me for the main bullies name, so I gave it to him. Then later today I came into class and our teacher seemed angry, she said that her patience was gone and that class would be ruled "military style" for a little while. This did not phase me though, because she has been saying things like that for a few weeks. But to my surprise, everyone actually listened. The main bully (who is usually loud and obnoxious) just sat there, saying nothing. Later in the class I realized that his eyes looked like he was about to cry, but I still did not think much of it until I heard a muffled statement, "We can't say anthing or else she'll..." and that's all I heard. I automatically assumed that they knew I told on them.

Later in the day, though, I began to realize that maybe they thought our teacher had told, which made me feel bad. I feel so bad for punishing the rest of the class for what some stupid kids were doing! All I wanted was for them to leave the poor kid alone, but instead I'm getting marshall law. And then my dad accidentally said, "Maybe Senorita got chewed out." What if she did? If I got my teacher in trouble, I'm a horrible person! Senorita is such a sweet person, she would never do anything to harm anyone, and what did I have to go and do? Get her in trouble.

I know this thinking is irrational because something had to be done for the kid's sake, but I still feel like a horrible person for getting my teacher yelled at and ruining class for everyone else.

My dad says that class will likely return to normal within a few days, but what if it doesn't? I feel like that stupid kid who went and tattle-taled and made everyone lose recess. Ugh.

What can I do to make myself feel better about the situation? I just feel like such a jerk...
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 12th 2010, 05:22 AM

Well, you did the right thing. Something had to be done. Reacting in this way was the decision of that teacher. Her decision alone - so it is in no way your fault! I am convinced that class will return to normal indeed quite soon. It is only a temporary measure that is meant to restore order and be a warning to the bullies. And it seems to work: The fact that the main bully was almost crying is a good sign. Maybe he will think about what he is doing and try to change. I advise you to give him a second chance if he appears to be really sorry. But in any case, as I stated above- it is NOT your fault (it is ONLY the fault of the bullies!), you did the right thing, so stop blaming yourself!


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Re: I told on a bully... - March 12th 2010, 09:10 PM

Aidian has a point, a bully in tears? he has to be thinking about his actions.

ok 1. in schools bullying is considered as the kids problem and not the teachers fault, she would have got in trouble just got advised on the situation and how to deal with it.

2. What would have happened if you didn't tell someone, who knows what that kid was going through, for all you know he might have gone home and hurt himself. even if you did sacrifice everyones recess, its better than sacrificing someones life, (mentally or physically) If it wasn't for you, that bullying victim would still be going through hell. You saved him from a world of suffering. be proud of that!

oh btw a tattle-tale or dobber are just words invented by bullys to try and stop you from telling someone. Why? because they're scared of it!

You were really brave sticking up from someone like that. You did a great job!


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Re: I told on a bully... - March 13th 2010, 12:34 AM

Hello there !! You did right. Well done. It may just be your teacher didn't get yelled at but rather was told how to do stuff to protect everyone. You did good. So don't worry.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 14th 2010, 05:39 AM

This may sound rude, but if your teacher is to nice to tell the bullies to stop then maybe she shouldn't be a teacher. Teachers need to have some backbone to tell kids to knock it off because when you have those teachers the class can turn into a mess.

I am not saying your teacher doesn't deserve to be one, but if she can't tell certain kids to stop bullying when it is happening right in front of her then were is the ground that will stop bullying from happening?

Teachers in my book are the first people in schools who need to step up to stop bullying.
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 17th 2010, 05:34 AM

Hey. You definitely did the right thing telling someone what was going on! It is definitely not your fault if it got your teacher into trouble of any kind. It is her job to ensure safety in the classroom, right? A bully bullying someone is definitely not safe - it can lead to a lot of other things. The bullied will get tired of the bullying and eventually do something their self, which usually ends up being violence. That, in turn, will just get them in trouble for not speaking up like you had the courage to.

If you're still worried about your teacher being in trouble or angry, you should speak to her after class or school about it. Let her know about the bullies, even if she already does, explain it to the degree you saw it begin to get taken to. And your father is right - things will go back to normal eventually. She'll most likely just become more and more lenient with you guys again, but probably not as much as she was.

Good luck!
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 18th 2010, 12:42 PM

You did the right thing for sure! Good job, it takes guts to stick up to bully's, not only for yourself but for a friend or classmate.

Just talk to your teacher, ask her how she's doing, what's new... Keep up some good "caring" conversation going and see how she responds, that'll debate if shes angry with you or anyone else (besides the bully's). Other then that... It'll blow over in no time!
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 18th 2010, 01:25 PM

I think it's amazing that you took the initiative to help put a stop to this. Sure, some kids are enjoying spanish class a little less, and one teacher might have had a small telling off from her boss about how she manages her classroom. But think about the GOOD point. You've made one kid's time in school so much more bearable and that far outweighs the aforementioned slightly negatives.
If you ask me, school isn't there to provide enjoyment and an easy time. Schools need to be tougher on kids and I think it's a positive thing that your teacher is now laying down the law.
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 20th 2010, 11:07 AM

Aw, don't feel bad about it. Like the others said, you did the right thing.


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Re: I told on a bully... - March 20th 2010, 11:31 PM

I dislike when teachers cant discipline their class because their too timid or shy or whatever the case may be. You took it upon yourself to do what had to be done, not only for getting the kid free from bullying but to get someone to tell your teacher to get a backbone. It benefits nobody if the teacher is so lax to let bullying go on infront of her. The fact that the bully was crying shows that someone stepped in and stopped the bullying. If his feelings got hurt, well that's his problem and who he fears shouldn't matter because what does matter is the bullying stopped and the teacher got some backbone.

You shouldn't feel ashamed because you did the right thing. If other classmates complain about the strictness or if the teacher herself is complaining, then that's just plain immature on their part.
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 22nd 2010, 04:58 AM

You did the right thing, they apparently will think twice from now on if they had tears in their eyes. However, if a teacher can't discipline a student or control her class, for example the seating situation, that's not good either. Teachers are supposed to have at least some say in what the class does, seating charts should be the easiest task in the classroom.
   
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Re: I told on a bully... - March 22nd 2010, 05:50 PM

Personally, I wouldn't even hide that it was me that told. And I would stand up for this kid in class, especially if the ones doing the bullying are younger. Things like "Well that's a bit hypercritical John" or "Mary, your mother must be so proud of you". But I guess I'm a bit more confident in that way.

I wouldn't feel bad. You've done the right thing. The class should actually get better now, stricter is good! If it goes back to how it was, I'd talk to the other teacher again. And if your actual teacher did get told off, to be honest I think that's a good thing, she allowed bullying to take place in her class and couldn't control the students. Now she seems to be doing better with that.


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