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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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anony mouse. Offline
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How do you deal? - April 13th 2010, 12:44 AM

When someone says or does something mean to you, how do you handle it?
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 13th 2010, 12:53 AM

ignore it. who the hell are they to say that to me? personally the only words that i usually let affect me are from my friends. because they kinda have a right to say it. they know me, so i listen to them. but if its coming from some random person. it's pointless. this is who i am. i cant change just because people are saying things. if i tried to please everyone i wouldn't be anyone. i wouldn't be myself. and i need to be myself. everyone needs to be themselves.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: How do you deal? - April 13th 2010, 01:57 AM

It really depends on what mood I’m in. If I’m having a good day I usually smile and say something sarcastic, if I’m having a bad day God help the other person…


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Re: How do you deal? - April 13th 2010, 04:20 AM

It depends really on what is said and who says it. More often than not I let it roll because if the person is angry, then me getting fired up is only to provoke them more and now there's a big mess. Some of what they say may also be stupid in addition to mean and I see no reason to get hyped up over something stupid. If it's something meant simply to degrade me, then I don't give in because the person fails. If I do give in, I allow myself to be degraded, especially if what is said or done is really stupid, then I make myself look like an absolute idiot even more.

So in most cases, I just laugh at them or perhaps ignore it. I find laughing or just looking at them not giving in emotionally works the best because it tends to lead to a point where they're being silly plus if they're venting, then I'll let them vent and once it's over, then all is good. Of course if they get physical then that's another story and I'll react on self-defense.

The exceptions are if I'm already in a foul mood then I may degrade them, possibly beyond what they wanted to do to me verbally, or if what they say is something they know either before-hand or after I tell them I feel strongly about, then they'll likely compliment shit.
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 13th 2010, 04:29 AM

I take it in stride. I consider what they said to me. Are they right? is it true? Sometimes it takes an "enemy" telling you something harsh for you to realize something about yourself that maybe isn't so great. Usually a friend won't say something like that (in my experience, anyway) but if they do then I consider their position even more. Friends really want to make you better. Enemies - maybe not, but they will tell you the truth.

Some things that people said really affected me, but they were always things from people close to me. If someone who's mean to me says something mean, honestly it slides right off me, I barely feel it. But when it's someone I love, I really have to think about what to say next. I usually say nothing. Sometimes a person gets really mad and says things on impulse. I just always leave the door open if they want to come apologize, but they don't really have to. I pretty much forgive people once they say something mean.

If it's something that really hurts me, I write about it (proud owner of an almost-full journal). Or talk to someone who I'm good with. Or talk to no one and just sleep or think. I "get over" things like that really easily. Some people are just mean spirited - still, I don't want to be stubborn and say something like "Fine!" That could ruin an otherwise awesome relationship.
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 14th 2010, 07:46 AM

Well if we're reffering to bullies, if they say something.
Look them in the eyes, say thats what you think while smiling at them. don't disagree with them but don't agree with them either.

If its physical, get away from them first. make an excuse to leave, then report them

and if its some kind of rumor always keep a smile on your face and just laugh at it like its funny. Don't let them think it affects you and it will go away


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Re: How do you deal? - April 14th 2010, 04:36 PM

If it's directed at me i usually ignore it. It doesnt bug me what people say it just proves how much of a waste of skin they are by finding enjoyment of picking on someone. If it continues it can get irritating like physical or when my stuff is being stolen then i freak the crap out of them and show em what *ss i can be right back. (i have my ways) Usually i dont waste my time on them though.
On the other hand if they are talking about my friends or bullying my buds then they are going down. I will not stand for it what so ever. I usually tell em straight up to stop it and if they dont I do some things that would bug them equally. I know two wrongs dont make a right but it sure shuts them up quick expecialy when you hold yourhead high and have a good argument. Or act like your mental. You just need to find there triggers. heh and then it ends.




   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 15th 2010, 09:33 PM

For me, i take a deep breath and try to walk away. I mean sometimes depending on what it is they say i sometimes have the tendencies to like yell back at them. Just so you knw, yelling at your parents is a bad idea.
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 15th 2010, 11:18 PM

I try not to take it to heart. If someone directly says something like that... they probably are just angry and have chosen you to take it out on. Just ignore it.
Also, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Make a joke about it :- )
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Re: How do you deal? - April 16th 2010, 03:54 AM

I personally laugh at them. If they are honestly pathetic enough to attack my life because they are that unhappy with theirs that they have to go out of their way to insult me, I'm already better then them.


__DEVINxLEIGH,
---

"Sometimes I have moments in life,
where I am able to forget for one minute,
exactly how lonely I am.
I live for those moments.
Is that pathetic or brave?"

---


   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 19th 2010, 12:44 AM

It usually kills me.. I'm not going to lie. I am learning to be stronger.. but it still gets me when people pick apart my appearance and stuff. If somebody wants to call me a bitch, thats fine, I mean it hurts to an extent but that's their opinion, but for someone to make fun of my weight or my hair or anything for that matter just kills me.

Right now I'm in a situation where I know that people must talk about me behind my back, and although I could do that too, I don't. They want me to feel bad for whatever reason, and they find that the only way that they can do that is by picking apart my appearance and/or personality. Yes, it does hurt. Now me, on the other hand, I want them to feel bad too, but not about themselves, about what happened, and what they did to me. Calling somebody who is insecure about their red hair a firecrotch or who is insecure about their height a stringbean isn't going to help anybody and yeah, they may feel bad, but it has nothing to do with realizing what they did was wrong.


That's just my opinion.
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 21st 2010, 04:20 AM

It hurts. But if someone has something nasty to say to me I'm not going to let them see how much it upsets them. Instead I just smile and walk away. Then when I am alone I think about how if they only have time to find flaws in me then I should feel sorry for them. I hope this help.
   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 29th 2010, 02:33 AM

I'd either laugh at them.
Ignore them.
Or say something completly utterly stupid back to them.





   
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Re: How do you deal? - April 29th 2010, 10:37 AM

Back in the days where I got bullied a lot I would try and ignore it but normally cry straight after. Now I tend to say a witty comment back to them :/


"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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Re: How do you deal? - April 29th 2010, 10:55 AM

I usually just laugh and think oh wow. I feel sorry for you, that your life is that boring that you have to get amusement out of ripping me off.


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Letís make a new tomorrow
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Re: How do you deal? - April 30th 2010, 02:42 PM

Depends who it is and how often, and what they say lol... or do.

If it's one of my friends... they are usually just joking about. If its persistant then it aint joking about anymore as such, it's paroting, and annoying then. But I don't really have friends like that as such anymore.

If its someone random in the street, like some 15 year old, u never really know what to expect. Apples thrown at you maybe? Or just loud voices? Ive not been bothered for a while like that. Last time it happened I stared the guy down lol. I think he freaked. One of my eyes is a slight different colour to the other and has a lower eyebrow haha. In the mirror with bathroom light it looks like one eye is shining, the other is dull. Something that applies though in almost every case though... if ur going to get in a fight, be the first to throw the punch.

If its someone in my familly im very fast to fire back. If I let someone get away with talking shit to me, they will do it even more. Im not prepared to stand like a scarecrow. Goes for anyone almost. I dont get on well with my parents as such, but I think they finally are backing off, or maybe giving up. To me its the same.

And there are people you see occasionaly... but dont talk to like in school or work. If they shoot something stupid... I either ignore it and give them a fked up look like "are you ok?", or throw something back at them... insult them back, but not too harsh. This ass pesters people at my uni sometimes, nothing serious, but annoying and humiliating to people. He asked me "why do u always sit alone at lunch?" loud so everyone could hear. I said back "cos I dont need help eating". I still laugh at it.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.



Last edited by BDF; April 30th 2010 at 02:47 PM.
   
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