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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Alto. Offline
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Unhappy I'm Scared... - August 30th 2010, 02:21 AM

I've been told to stand my ground when dealing with bullies. I've been told to not show fear, and to stand up for myself. I can't do any of this. To be honest, I'm terrified of these bullies that I have to deal with.

I know most of the things they say about me aren't true, but every so often, they get something that is true and causes me to hate myself. I've even heard girls that I once considered friends say things about me. I've seen things written about me in the bathroom stalls, and I hear people talk about me when I'm standing right by them and they know that. What did I do to make them hate me like this?

Kids are starting to shove me in the hallways now. When it first started I believed it to be an accident because they were running in the halls, didn't see me, and therefore didn't mean to run into me. But now, even when I side step to get out of the way, I still find myself being shoved against a locker. I'm a pacifist, so by no means would I ever shove them back. If I wanted too, I couldn't. The kids I'm shoved by are the big, football playing guys. Compared to them, I'm an ant. What can I say to them to make them stop running into me? I don't want to become the snitch and tell a teacher, besides, I don't know how I could tell a teacher or what teacher I could tell. My school has a zero-tolerance rule about fighting, and we've been told that shoving plays into that. The best I can do right now is hope that a teacher is around next time I'm shoved so they're caught, but I don't earn another reputation that I don't want.

Ugh... What do I do?


wanderer come home
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lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
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Re: I'm Scared... - August 30th 2010, 12:38 PM

Hey,

Telling someone is always the best thing to do, but I understand that sometimes it just cant be done. Also 'standing up' to the people who are bullying you is always good, but there are also times where its just not simple enough to do so.

You shouldnt have to put up with this, at all. On this specific issue, I could give you a link to another site, which should be able to help. I will send you a PM of the website, and I hope it helps. Apparently its a great site...and some great advice is given for bullying issues!

Lex-Fauzia.
   
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Re: I'm Scared... - September 1st 2010, 09:47 AM

Hrmmm... Well I recently discovered that questioning bullies reasons for bullying shuts them up. Throw questions back at them. They try to make you feel awkward, you can do the same if you question their reasons for bullying.
you don't have to stand up to them to do so, just try casually questioning them. if they don't answer, (or give a politician's answer) press them further like "why don't you answer the question/question properly?"

If do have a really low confidence, try to constantly put yourself just a little OuT of your comfort zone each time. You can start by walking proudly about the place (back straight, head forward, Man/woman on a mission sorta thing)

Funnyly enough i had someone pushing me to move a while ago, shouting at me, haha, it was hillarious when i shouted back: "WHY DON'T YOU GO IN FRONT?" As i opened a passage for him to go infront of me. He said something loudly and walked off in front... hahaa, good times.

as for feeling bad, everyone screws up alot, you do things that you regret, its just the way the world works. Best thing to do is to get back up and remember what you did wrong. Learn from your mistakes. If someone tries to bully you about your mistakes just give it some redeeming features.

I cried in a maths class once, bullies kept harressing me, asking me why. I put on a face which said i was proud of myself and told them it was sort of a cross between insane laughter and crying.... they shut up after that, the trick is to admit to the facts and pretend your not ashamed

As for the pushing, they should stop that if you apply the man on a mission trick i mentioned early.

Graffiti on walls... I'm only speculating, but i wonder what happens if you change it so that it makes you sound popular such as. X is gay to X is grate!

And finally just remember that Bullies INVENTED the words such as "snitch" and "dobber" to peer pressure you into not report them. If you have a school with a zero bullying policy. Use it!


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Re: I'm Scared... - September 3rd 2010, 01:12 AM

I also suggest to keep to yourself. You know. Don't look for trouble and if you need to then go to the teacher or tell someone else. Your safety comes before reputation.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: I'm Scared... - September 5th 2010, 04:00 PM

Hello,
First of all, I think that telling the bullying to proper authorities is the best way to go, but If you can, I think it's possible to confront them first, maybe those bullies have their own problems that they can't handle and that molds their mentality, much like when a man drinks an alcohol.
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Re: I'm Scared... - September 6th 2010, 06:42 AM

Do these big football guys shove other students (male or female) also? How hard is the shove, in that does it make you fall to the ground, knock you off-balance, push without much pain or push with pain? Lastly, does this occur only in the locker hall area or does it occur elsewhere on school grounds?


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Re: I'm Scared... - September 7th 2010, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
Do these big football guys shove other students (male or female) also? How hard is the shove, in that does it make you fall to the ground, knock you off-balance, push without much pain or push with pain? Lastly, does this occur only in the locker hall area or does it occur elsewhere on school grounds?
My main concern between classes is getting to my next class before the bell rings, so I don't know if they shove others. None of my friends have ever said anything about it, but it isn't really something we talk about openly.
It's hard enough that I fall off-balance. It doesn't hurt unless I hit a locker.
The entire school is covered with lockers, because at one time it was built to house over 1000 students, but it only has 600 now. Lockers are in every hallway, covering as much space as possible. So it only happens around locker areas.


wanderer come home
you're not too far
lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
come as you are.

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