Non-PG13: Revenge....

[WestboundPuppet]

Ill start off by saying im not a violent or mean person, but lately ive been having a burning desire for revenge against all the people that ever bullied me(which is a lot). Usually I cant see myself hurting others, even if they do deserve it, I cant even stand making people sad. But now I feel I can easily do it(to my enemies anyway) and I dont just want to hurt them, I want to kill them, yes, kill. I daydream about killing them in brutal ways that would make people cringe. And I enjoy these daydreams and want to make them reality. Infact today I almost did. A lot of my old bullies live near me, and its not hard to go to one their houses and murder them. I still cant stand hurting others,only
my enemies, And I was never like this, they made me like this. Even right now the temptation to slit their throat is eating at me. Should I tell someone about this?

Sorry for the long thread.

[Marguerite]

I really think you should talk to someone about this asap.

Your thought process is dangerous, to say the least.

The fact that you 'almost did' go to their houses and kill them is a very scary thought. Please, don't do anything. You wouldn't just be punishing them. You'd be punishing yourself, sending yourself to jail or quite possibly a psych ward. You'd be putting your family through unimaginable trauma, not only by having them see their child go to jail, but dealing with the aftermath alone, without you. Having to talk to news stations. Making them wonder what they did wrong. You'd be punishing the family of the people you hate. Just because they're bad people doesn't mean they don't have people who love them. And their little brothers and sisters and parents didn't do anything to hurt you.

You have to remember that sometimes people do horrible things because they've had horrible things happen to them. That's no excuse for what they've done to you, but you'd essentially be doing the same thing as them. You'd be hurting someone else because you've been hurt, and that isn't fair.

I don't know what these people have done. But high school kids are idiots. We can't help it. And your 'enemies'? Maybe they've called you names, or threatened you, or hurt you... But the thing is that they probably don't know the true extent of what they've done. They thinks it's all fun and games. They don't understand that you go hope and cry and contemplate doing these terrible things because of their actions.

It'll all be over in a few years and you won't have to worry about them. Just hold on, because if you don't, you're exactly the same as them. You're absolutely no better. Even worse. And I know you're a good person. I know that you ARE better than them.

Please, talk to someone about this. For your own safety as much as anyone elses.

[WestboundPuppet]

Originally Posted by Marguerite

I really think you should talk to someone about this asap.

Your thought process is dangerous, to say the least.

The fact that you 'almost did' go to their houses and kill them is a very scary thought. Please, don't do anything. You wouldn't just be punishing them. You'd be punishing yourself, sending yourself to jail or quite possibly a psych ward. You'd be putting your family through unimaginable trauma, not only by having them see their child go to jail, but dealing with the aftermath alone, without you. Having to talk to news stations. Making them wonder what they did wrong. You'd be punishing the family of the people you hate. Just because they're bad people doesn't mean they don't have people who love them. And their little brothers and sisters and parents didn't do anything to hurt you.

You have to remember that sometimes people do horrible things because they've had horrible things happen to them. That's no excuse for what they've done to you, but you'd essentially be doing the same thing as them. You'd be hurting someone else because you've been hurt, and that isn't fair.

I don't know what these people have done. But high school kids are idiots. We can't help it. And your 'enemies'? Maybe they've called you names, or threatened you, or hurt you... But the thing is that they probably don't know the true extent of what they've done. They thinks it's all fun and games. They don't understand that you go hope and cry and contemplate doing these terrible things because of their actions.

You're 17. How long do you have left at school? A year? Then it'll all be over and you won't have to worry about them. Just hold on, because if you don't, you're exactly the same as them. You're absolutely no better. Even worse. And I know you're a good person. I know that you ARE better than them.

Please, talk to someone about this. For your own safety as much as anyone elses.

They've done some horrible things to me. Ive never had a single friend my whole life, everyone in elementary, middle, and high school hated(and still do) me and I never did anything wrong. I was always the quiet one. I also have been told everyone wants me to die numerous times, and that committing suicide will make everyone happy, and whenever I go to someone for help, they don't believe me, I even went to the police but they just said I wanted attention. I'm just sick of dealing with this.

[Marguerite]

Originally Posted by WestboundPuppet

They've done some horrible things to me. Ive never had a single friend my whole life, everyone in elementary, middle, and high school hated(and still do) me and I never did anything wrong. I was always the quiet one. I also have been told everyone wants me to die numerous times, and that committing suicide will make everyone happy, and whenever I go to someone for help, they don't believe me, I even went to the police but they just said I wanted attention. I'm just sick of dealing with this.

I won't say I understand what you're going through, because I don't know what it's like. But I imagine having people say all those things would drive someone crazy.

Those people are horrible people. And you're not. You're just struggling and clearly I can see why. The police aren't doing there job. You should file a complaint. Is there someone else you can talk too? A councillor at your school maybe?

If you hurt them, you'd be remembered as a monster. And they would be remembered as the innocent victims. You don't want that. Everyone should know what THEY did to YOU, not the other way around.

I know what it's like to be different. I know it can suck sometimes. But soon enough you'll be an adult and you'll be out of high school. Just hold your ground. If you can muster the strength to actually hurt them, then you can stand up for yourself without being violent. You can tell them to go away and that you don't care what they say.

You shouldn't anyway, because idiots like that get out into the real world and realize their are bigger and badder pricks than they are that won't stand for people acting that way.

The best revenge is to be happy and to make something of yourself. Trust me, in ten years when they're serving you fries and you're off having the time of your life with people and a job you love, that's the best pay back anyone could give.

Don't throw your life away over morons who will peak in high school. You're better than them. Prove it.

PS- Sorry I read wrong. I thought it said you were 17 but I was reading your post count.

[PutYourHeartsUp]

I really agree with Marguerite. I had some really bad things done to me, every day for over two years. I lived in a small town, I went to a small school that I was either ignored...or hated. I had an entire grade at least do stuff every day. It got to the point that they all joked I would bring a gun to school.

Killing them would not be revenge. It would only be hurting their family. So what? They're dead. They won't know.

You should keep trying to get people to listen. Eventually, someone will. Trust me.

[BDF]

I think I know what you're feeling. I won't lie I came dangerously close (I didn't even realise when it was happening) to possibly killing someone I hated. It's definately what was going through my head at that instant, and it was purely impuslive. I honestly don't know what I might have done to him if no one had tried to stop me. That was aged about 15, same as you, although I had similar feelings several other times for a while. I still get what I'd call a sudden "rage surge" in me when I think of it, but it's a bit less extreme.

The best revenge you could possibly get on people you hate, is success. Be it on a large scale, like perhaps being part of a successful music band, or just moving on with your life, getting a good job, earning decent money, nice car, house etc etc. So they are probably still going to be stuck in their shithole with fuckall, and one day you can just drive through the neighbourhood in a porsche and smirk at them out of the window.

But in the short term, look into getting anger management maybe, or counselling of some sort. You need to find some kind of outlet for what you're feeling. My outlet was writing (still is). Anger can give you a lot of energy, that you needa vent somehow, or ur simply gona go cRaZy. Focus that energy in one direction, control it somehow, and you'l be able to achieve a lot with it.