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Final year of highschool (pressure) - July 5th 2013, 02:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So it's my last year of schooling, and I had been telling myself to just buckle down and do it, become a robot. My parents SAY they don't care what I get as long as I tried my best, but before they found out I had depression they would ground me for not getting As. I just feel like they are lying to me just so I don't end up killing myself. I just can't handle the pressure. My sister got through highschool fine, perfect results. I don't understand why I can't do it. I just feel guilty if I'm doing anything that's not study. I just want to get out.

I'm in a very smart friendship group at school and I feel like the dumbest of the lot. Just don't want this judgement from people. I study my butt off and usually end up disappointed but always too embarasses to say anything. I keep it all bottled up. I too embarassed to tell my therapist my marks. I lie about them. I don't want her to think I'm and idiot who just needs to study harder. I have no one to talk to or tell because I'm just embarassed.

The pressure is absolutely draining me. I'm always tired, always thinking about death ( how easy it would be ). I just don't see a happy ending to highschool for me.

I really don't think anyone will reply to this, there is not much to rely with. I just feel like I needed to tell someone.
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Re: Final year of highschool (pressure) - July 5th 2013, 03:36 PM

Hey there,
I'm kind of in the same situation as you, and you're right, high school is pretty stressful. But hey, I'm 100% sure that you aren't dumb. No one is dumb, people are smart in many different things. You may be struggling through academics, which is normal since high school course work is pretty rigorous. From your post, it seems to me that you are having trouble finding your strengths and focus more on that. Don't worry about the outside pressure of your family and friends, they are different people, and you are an unique individual. Keep trying and working hard and you will make it through this It's never too late for anything.

Best of luck,
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Re: Final year of highschool (pressure) - July 5th 2013, 03:57 PM

Hey there,

I'm also in a situation a bit like this. I have so many smart friends who don't even have to study for tests, and still do a lot better than me. It sometimes makes me upset and jealous that they don't have to do as much, and I always feel like i'm not as smart as them, but I've got qualities they don't have and that's what I remind myself when I start to feel jealous or upset over grades.

School is important, but grades are not everything. Not everyone is going to get the greatest grades, you just have to try your hardest and that is all that matters. I'm sorry your parents have been hard on you with your grades, but they only want the best and they see your potential. They want the best for you, and sometimes they don't always know the best way of showing it to you. Maybe you can talk to them about how you feel towards this, and see what they have to say about it. Don't keep it bottled up inside, it'll just hurt you later.

I feel awful when I don't spend all of my time studying, but we're teenagers. We are not meant to study all day, 24/7. No one should expect that from us. We need to get out there and learn things, a lot of teens are expected to work, do sports, and activities as well as schoolwork. Sometimes if you spend your whole time studying, you miss out on important things like that, spending time with families, relaxing, and getting social skills you will need for the rest of your life.

Try to find a study plan that works for you, maybe study a little bit of what you study at school a night, that way you don't have to do it all the night before a big test. It always works out better that way. If your study habits aren't getting you the results you want, try something new, look into tutoring. Some schools have programs where you can get tutored by other students for service hours, so you might look into that.

Don't worry about what other people think, I know that's harder said than done because it's something I struggle with, but it's the best way to go. This is high school and most of these people you won't even talk to or know the future. You'll be working with the skills that you've learned, so don't worry about them. Focus on you and what you can do.

I hope this helped, good luck!

"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
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