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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Am I overthinking this? - November 23rd 2016, 08:55 AM

I seriously have no clue where else this would go, so feel free to move it.

Since my masters dismissal was almost 2 years ago and I'm not as far along in dealing with it as I think I "should" be, one of my 2017 goals is to try professional help again. I'm also trying to maintain professional contact with the now former program coordinator and would like to update him around the 2-year mark in February.

Because I was trying to become a mental health professional, becoming a client, especially to deal with the dismissal, presents unique challenges. I mostly want to know if my concerns are legitimate, or if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm thinking of bringing this up with him in an update to see what he thinks. I am NOT asking him to become my therapist (this is unethical), but I feel like I need an objective person who knows what I'm talking about but who isn't a friend or my treating professional.

I don't know who else to approach, but I need to be very careful with the relationship/connection here. I would focus only on my specific concerns, not personal issues. He hates to give advice, but, I know he'll respond with something because he always has, even post-dismissal when he didn't have to. I don't want to use him for anything "inappropriate" or non-professional, but I'm at a loss as to who else could, and/or would help.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 23rd 2016, 12:56 PM

I think getting professional help as a goal for 2017 is a good one!

I understand your concerns about wanting to go into mental health as a professional, and then becoming a client to deal with the dismissal. But I'd say there's a good chance overall that many people who are mental health professionals have themselves been clients for many reasons.

I think it's reasonable to want to ask for an objective opinion from the former program coordinator. Since you aren't asking him to be your therapist, I see no problem with just wanting an opinion.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 23rd 2016, 09:34 PM

Thank you. Most professionals have been clients, but either as professionals, or as clients before they became professionals. I can virtually guarantee that no one has ended up a mental health client after trying to become a professional to deal with the fact that they can't (and the damage done on the way out), so I'm worried about things that I'm not sure have ever come up. I feel like someone in the field is my best option, but it can't be a friend or someone who would treat me, and who would actually respond, so he's the only one I can think of, but that could make this professional relationship weird and awkward if it's something he doesn't want to get into.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 01:09 AM

I think it is completely reasonable for you to want to get professional help, even if you yourself wou;d stil like to be a metnal health professional. To me, needing help from a therapist doesn't mean you can't still be a good therapist - you can be excellent at your job at still know your to close to your own shit to objectively deal with it. It'd be like expecting a doctor to treat their own ailments, that would be ridiculous, but they're obviously able to handle surface level things that the average person can't




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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 01:15 AM

I got thrown out of the program, I can never become a therapist. That's what I need help with. But, I got so far along in the training for it that I can never be a "normal" client which is keeping me from getting the help I know I need. I need to know if my weird concerns are legitimate or if I'm talking myself out of something I need for reasons that aren't actually problems. He's the only one I can think of to ask about this, but that might make the professional relationship awkward if it's something he doesn't want to get into. This NEVER happens, so it's not something they come across every day.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 10:27 AM

Therapists see their own therapist quite a bit. It isn't uncommon. I really don't think you have anything to worry about, you can always express that concern when you call to set up an appointment somewhere. The fact that you were going through the training does not exclude you from ever seeking help, not at all. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I also know quite a few people who were in training while also seeing someone themselves. I know people in the field who are also seeing someone. The only way I can see it not working is if you're just not honest.



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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 01:36 PM

I'm in a weird limbo situation. I'm not a professional, I'm but going because I can never be one, but I know more than the average person. I'm worried about the following because of that:

Am I going to get the empathy I deserve if the therapist, regardless of credential, feels the need on any level to defend the profession/ethics code? For the record I understand why it had to be done, it's the way things were handled that killed me. Understanding is not a painkiller. I need to bash this program at least a little in order to deal with this. Are they really going to let me?! Yes, they can consult or seek supervision, but chances are whoever they talk to has never dealt with it.

They're lisenced, they had a different experience than I had. Are they all going to assume I did this to myself, or that I'm somehow manipulating the story? Most of the time dismissals happen for either a low GPA or an ethics violation/harm to a client. Neither of these is the case for me. It was the part of the ethics code that never gets used, poor fit for any reason, that allowed this legally on the basis of a disability. This makes sense to literally no one. What if they think I'm lying? Once someone is convinced of something, they see what they want to see. Plus, I got full blame for EVERYTHING for almost 3 years. Where the responsibility for it all lies is something I struggle with daily. The last thing I need is for my treating professional to walk in blaming me too.

I know way too much. Diagnostic criteria, the technical details of how assessments work, exactly what they look and listen for and have to respond, how they really act behind the scenes, the list goes on. Most of this one is on me to be open and honest in spite of it, but I still think like them and a lot of it is automatic or outside my control. I need someone who can work around this or keep me from getting away with hiding things because I know how.

I feel like friends or treating professionals will just say it won't happen or not to worry about it. Whereas someone who is in the field, but neither of those things can tell me how valid this really is.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 02:20 PM

I think you're worrying about something you shouldn't. I really don't think it's going to be the problem you think it'll be. They have no reason to think you're lying. As for the second part, you aren't the first person to see a therapist that knows how all of that works. However, this seems to not be the answer you're looking for. I don't think it's necessary to ask your former coordinator, but it seems like you're looking for someone to tell you it's fine to ask him. So, just ask him.



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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 05:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightblood. View Post
However, this seems to not be the answer you're looking for... it seems like you're looking for someone to tell you it's fine to ask him. So, just ask him.
Wow, Yes I was "looking for" someone to tell me whether bringing it up with him would be weird, and you think it would be. End of. I explain until I think people "get it" I didn't want to list everything out, but I felt like people were misunderstanding that I need help because I can't be a professional anymore and that this is different from a professional seeking help.


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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 06:37 PM

I'm not saying it would be weird to ask him, I'm saying I don't think it's necessary because I don't think it's as big a problem as you think it is.



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Re: Am I overthinking this? - November 24th 2016, 11:18 PM

Okay, thank you. I have anxiety and I'm socially impaired so things like this freak me out when they probably don't need to, but I can't always tell what's worth avoiding and what's worth doing. If I bring it up at all, I'll put it without asking anything and see what he does with it.


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