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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fallenskies Offline
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Name: Olivia
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Stressed - March 17th 2017, 12:32 PM

I've been feeling so stressed lately. I'm always procrastinating work and projects until the last minute, so I guess it's myself I have to blame. It's just that I really don't get the point of homework and school in general. And I have tutoring as well. I need it, but it just adds so much more homework to my never-ending pile of shit to do. My grades aren't that good too. I just feel like I'm so stupid. I can't remember math formulas or the periodic table but I remember random shit like how tall Bruno Mars is (5'5 he's really short like what). I just feel so stressed and pressurized. Plus, my parents want me to do good in school. At this rate, my brother will have better grades than me in no time and my parents will start comparing me to him and it'll be another level of stress added on.

Also, feel free to move this to another forum if needed. I'm not sure if this is the most appropriate forum for my post.

Heyo. PM or VM me if you need someone to listen. I'm also constantly in need of hugs so if you wanna give me some that'd be great too
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Matter Offline
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Re: Stressed - March 17th 2017, 05:41 PM

Dear Olivia,
I'm sorry to hear all this.
Don't ever feel stupid because of school and don't ever let anyone convince you that grades reflect your intelligence. I don't want to degrade school or make it look unnecessary, that's not my point. The thing is - we all know that there are no perfect schools and no perfect teachers. I don't know what the education system looks like in your country, but in mine it's all about learning stuff by heart and forgetting it the day after an exam. Another thing, I don't wanna discourage you from studying. What I'd like to say is that you should try to find a happy medium. Study, especially the things you are interested in, and try to get as good grades as possible, but don't push yourself beyond the limits that make it dangerous for your health. Remember that sleeping and eating well is crucial (you're not gonna perform well at school if you're sleepy anyways).
I understand that you can't possibly only eat, sleep and study; one would go crazy. But believe me, if you keep up the pressure and put away some hobbies for some time, it'll pass. Are you preparing for an exam? Relax after it; are you studying to get good grades for the end of the term? Relax once the term ends. It's hard, true, but definitely not impossible for you! And don't care about your brother's grades! (easy to say, however try to focus on yourself, as comparing yourself to other people is never good).
If you feel like you need to relax now, desperately, think of any short trip for the weekend, even for a few hours. Would it be possible for you?
Remember, your health is most important.
I hope I helped a tiny bit. I really get your situation, but I'm sure you are able to endure it! Better times will come.
If you'd ever like to talk, I'm always willing to do so.
Have a great day/night,

Life begins where fear ends
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Lionheart Offline
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Re: Stressed - March 19th 2017, 08:24 PM

Hey Olivia
You're not stupid. Grades may show how good or bad someone is in a certain subject but by no means do they meassure intelligence. They simply show how good or bad someone is in a class. Like, I always wrote good marks in physics. Not because I'm good at it, I simply knew what the teacher wanted me to write so I wrote it, even if I didn't understand it. That has nothing to do with being smart or not. It's mostly good luck.
The thing with remembering stuff from school (especially formulas and stuff) is, that you only remember it if you repeat it often enough (or your really good at remembering things). That's what homework is for. To repeat those things until you feel sick from all the formulas. But you will remember the more important ones. If you do your homework last minute the stress makes it difficult to actually learn something from it. So what I'm kinda trying to say is, homework is actually supposed to help you thats why its a good idea to do it on time.
You said your getting tutoring. Maybe you can talk with your tutor that they will look with you over your homework first? I'm tutoring a few kids and we always look at their homework first, see if they understand everthing and if not I help them figure out how to do the homework, before we actually start going over the other stuff.

About procrastinating... Try to do one thing first. When you have so many things to do and they all seem to be pilling up it can be really scary. Thats why try to choose one thing first. Maybe something from your favorit subject (or the subject you least despise) and try to do just that single thing. Forget about the rest. You don't even need to do it in one go if it's to much.
Just set your own goals. Like, I'll do half of the math homework and half of english by the end of the day.
It's just important to take small steps. Don't try to do everything at once. That can be so discouraging. Just tiny bits and pieces and it may take some time but sooner or later that big pill of work will get smaller and smaller.

I hope this helped a tiny bit and you'll find a way for yourself to deal with all the work.

It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
lewwis_nico Offline
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Thumbs up Re: Stressed - March 23rd 2017, 02:37 PM

I think your problem is identifying your personal qualities with your academic qualities. Both are important, but concentrate on the first one. It really matters. In my opinion, you have a big potential to be a successful person in future. Just don't give up!
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