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MyVisionIsDying Offline
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Stuck - June 16th 2017, 12:02 AM

So I had a therpay session last week and broke down about how I'm doing nothing with my life while even my best friend has finally gotten around and now has a job (working at my mum's shop). What makes this feeling even worse is that it's pretty much three years since I've finished secondary school, meaning it'll almost be three years since I bailed on going to both college and sixth form due to depression and anxiety flaring up at the time.

And now I'm desperate to do something. My therapist and I made an action plan to look up local colleges and sixth forms and see if they have any courses I may be interested in and potentially enquire further information about said courses.

But I don't know how to go about that. There are so many factors my brain uses to shoot down the idea. I'm 19 so I'll be an adult learner, and there are fees to be paid if one is an adult learner- I have no money and I don't want my mum to fork out hundreds of pounds for a course because I don't want to put a financial strain on the family (mum says she'll do anything to help me but still). That thought also applies to online courses as well as many do cost a heavy price. And my biggest problem is that the local colleges are at least a bus ride away and I refuse to step foot near my former secondary school ever again but I suffer from severe anxiety (and possibly suffer from agoraphobia too). I doubt any college would be willing to help someone like me and provide access to the lessons online. I know it's still worth a shot contacting them but seeing as I never got help from whomever my secondary school contacted three years ago well... I don't have high expectations.

To make matters more stressful for me, I have a therapy session next week and my therapist expects me to have done this action plan.
It's also bad that mum's caught on that some of the things I say are to please my therapist (though she's nice) I just want to avoid certain topics because I know nothing will help me deal with them.

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Re: Stuck - June 16th 2017, 03:19 AM

It's completely okay to start off late, even in your schooling. I'm not sure where you're from, but here in America sometimes adult learners get even more help than those right out of high school, there are more grants and things for them. I currently have an associate degree and have been out of school for about 3 or 4 years, and I've most recently decided to try and go back for a bachelors. I'm getting more grants and things because I'm an adult learner. From where you're living, is there any kind of government aid? In the U.S. we have what's called the FAFSA, Free Application for Federal Student Aid. When you fill that out it will give you an idea of what you can get help with as far as paying for your schooling goes.

In the time I was between schooling, I was in and out of work because of my anxiety. I know some of what you're going through with that. Just keep working with your therapist and everything should work out. As far as deciding on courses to take, think about what you see yourself doing in the future, long and hard. I know that there are universities specifically geared towards online learning, in fact, I'm looking into attending one of those. Just make sure they're accredited, to do that, just simply call or email their admissions department and they can answer that question for you. You really don't want to go to one that isn't accredited.

Also, some colleges around here have an organization called TRiO which is specifically for people who have learning disabilities or issues that inhibit their ability to learn. What they do is coordinate between you and your instructors and come up with plans and things for your specific learning, say for instance you need to take a psychology course and a potentially triggering topic comes up - what would happen there is your instructor would either divert the attention to something else or dismiss you from the classroom until the topic has finished.

If you don't have a program specifically with that name then there are other services that your potential college could offer. Just make sure you look into these things and you'll be set. So, you could do the following:

- Check if the school has a program like TRiO.
- Check if the school is accredited.
- Check if the school offers and type of grants or scholarships.
- Check if there's any kind of government aid you can use. (which doesn't need to be paid back in most cases)
- You could possibly make a pro and con list of your most wanted courses to see which one has the most pros.
- Look into potential colleges that are geared specifically for online courses.
- Keep calm, relax, and let everything flow. What happens will happen and what could be, could be. Just let it all go and let it all play out and you'll do fine.

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2. (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.

We all possess resilience, we just need to realize it.

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Celyn Offline
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Re: Stuck - June 17th 2017, 05:00 PM

I don't have much to add but I do know what it's like to feel frustrated when you haven't done much since leaving school. Try not to compare yourself to your best friend and though you may feel desperate to do something, take your time and think things through first, rather than acting on the anxiety.

Have you talked to your therapist about your anxiety and agoraphobia? I'm wondering if it may help a bit by working through the anxiety as well so that the prospect of going back into education or catching buses isn't so daunting. It may take time, but I'm sure it will be worth it!

It's interesting that you say things to please your therapist or avoid certain topics because you feel nothing will help you deal with them. I'm wondering if you would feel comfortable discussing the fact that you avoid certain things with your therapist? Remember that therapy is a place for you to talk about the things that concern you; even if your therapist can't help much, it is still good to get things off your chest!

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