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thisiscourtney Offline
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Going to an Out-Of-State College - June 2nd 2010, 03:04 AM

I've already gotten into a college in my state and I've paid the fees and everything, despite the fact that my dream was to go to a college across the country. Now I'm having second thoughts. Lately I've been working on changing myself for the better and expanding into areas I didn't even think possible, but I feel like going to the college I've enrolled in would be settling, and that doesn't fit into my desired self at all.

The only thing really stopping me is my sister. She constantly tells me I'm being incredibly selfish by even considering going out of state and that I should just deal with it. It wasn't like I was planning on using the family's money. If I did decide to go now, I would still have to wait a year, so I could take a year off and get a job. I have a few people out there even offering me their spare bedrooms.

Does it seem like a horrible idea?

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Re: Going to an Out-Of-State College - June 2nd 2010, 03:09 AM

Hey there, to be honest with you I'd say follow your dreams.

Because if you don't you may find you regret it. Is your sister not jeleous because you have the chance to go to another state?

I don't find it selfish, in the end it's your life.

Follow your heart.

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Re: Going to an Out-Of-State College - June 2nd 2010, 04:46 AM

I would say follow your heart. But just make sure that you are definitely ready because going to college out of state is a big change. Some people have no problem with it. I tried to go to school out of state. It was my dream school. I was worried because I have anxiety problems but I made an appointment to see a therapist right away so that I would have support at school. For me though, it ended up being too much. It was too overwhelming. I have severe social anxiety, so living in the dorms was too stressful for me. I would go to class and be nervous there (school is a huge anxiety trigger for me) and then I would go back to my dorm room and I would be unable to relax because of all the people around. For me, going away to college didnt give me a place to relax and get away from my anxiety. After only a week of being there I just couldnt stay so I withdrew from the school and I now go to an in-state college and I commute from home. Being home allows me to have a place to relax and unwind. Im not saying that you will be unable to do it, but just make sure that you will have the support you need. Really take all factors into consideration. Look at the pros and cons of being going to an in state school and an out of state school. But if your heart is truly set on an out of state school, you can make it work. I think that you should go for it because it would really give you a chance to grow and learn in a way that a state school cannot. I wish that I had the ability to deal with my anxiety so that I could have stayed at the out of state college of my dream because I do feel like I am missing out on a lot that I could have experienced.

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person." -Gerard Way
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Re: Going to an Out-Of-State College - June 2nd 2010, 02:24 PM

I've got a couple of suggestions for you and a mini-lecture. Ready? Here we go...

First of all, follow your heart. Don't let your family keep away from doing what you love or going to the school that you love. Too many times I hear of people not going to their dream schools for various reasons and absolutely hating where they end up. Don't be one of them. Follow your heart, even if your heart is in another state. Only you know what you truly want and only you know what will make you truly happy. I was in the same boat - my parents wanted me to go to a school in-state because it would be a lot cheaper than going to a private school out-of-state. Let me tell you... As much as I would love to be out of debt in a few years as opposed to 20 or 30 years, my school is completely worth it. I'm getting an amazing education, I've met amazing friends, and I'm right where I know I should be. My school is absolutely everything I wanted.
That being said, if the out-of-school state is where you want to be, go for it! You don't want to be sitting there wondering.

That being said... I have a suggestion for you.
It's hard to take a break from school for a year and then have the heart and passion to go back. Life happens. Things come up. So, if going to this out-of-state school means waiting a year, at least try going to your local community college and taking a few classes. If you don't want to do that, go to the in-state college you've already enrolled in, just for this year. Get some general classes out of the way, and then transfer out after this year.
If you don't want to do that, you can also look at doing your undergrad in-state and then going for graduate school out-of-state.

There are more options than just choosing to go out-of-state or not.

“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time. You may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be." ~Jon Bon Jovi

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