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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
yoloyoloyolo Offline
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Unhappy Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 06:22 AM

I find that people these days are two-faced. They tell you something or act a certain way to your face, and then as soon as you turn your back, they start talking shit or doing shitty things to you.

I'm the kind of guy who, unless you've done something to screw me over, will do anything and everything for you. I expect no favours in return, it's just how I operate. I care about people and I want what's best for everyone.

However, despite my caring nature, I find that most people will take people, use them, and then shove them aside when they no longer need them. Whatever happened to treating people the way you want to be treated? I offer people everything I have, and they take me and just throw me out. It F***ING pisses me off!

I have found so few people who I think are genuinely nice people. It seems to me that people ALWAYS have a hidden agenda. You just can't trust anyone, and it makes me sad because I want nothing more than to have friends that I can trust. I give it out so easily, and people are always willing to just take that trust and abuse it.

Please, anyone, help restore my faith in humanity.


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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 07:37 AM

I'm not exactly humanity deserves a lot of your faith =/
   
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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 09:07 AM

I'm just sick and tired of thinking people are my friends, and then finding out they do shit behind my back to intentionally screw me over.


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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 09:37 AM

Hi larrel1!!

I hope you're having a super duper day!!

I know how you feel. I really do. All of my life - I have been FAR nicer than anyone who I invited into my life to be my friend. But when I look back on all of those 'friendships' - I must accept the part I played in making sure that only 'those' kind of people ended up in my life. And I say that because I never really felt that I deserved to have anyone in my life who would honestly care about ME. In fact - genuinely caring people - genuinely NICE people [And I don't mean 'car salesman nice'] scare me. And part of the reason they scare me is because THEY will ask ME how I am doing [And here comes the terrifying part!] and then WAIT for ME to answer!!! [Because they actually, honestly CARE] And that scared me because I never knew how to deal with that. I'm much better now - but it still throws me off balance whenever it happens. [Because it still doesn't happen very often - sadly]

I think you and I have something in common. We both give WAY too much. [Because that's just who we are] But to a lot of people - who we ARE is not something to respect - but something to take advantage of. Truth be told - the LESS willing I was to be everyone's 'bestest friend they ever had' - the more genuine my friendships became. NOT 'being there for them' 24 hours a day makes me feel guilty - as if refusing to be that person in their lives was selfish on my part. But it's not selfish. And it's OK to take care of ourselves - too. If we don't - we just became the world's door mat. And in effect - we ASK people to 'wipe their feet' [So to speak] all over us. [Grinding our heart into the ground in the process] I still have a BIG problem with just saying "NO". I feel I need to justify not wanting to do something for someone in the hopes that they will forgive me for being so awful. But it's not awful to say 'no'. Saying 'no' tells people that you are someone worthy of their respect - because when we say 'no' - we are showing THEM that WE care about ourselves. And people tend to care more for those who care about themselves than they do for people who do NOT care about themselves. That's something that took me DECADES to learn. [And I'm still in the process of learning that]

If you are seriously asking for help to restore you faith in humanity - take a good look in the mirror. You're HUMAN. You CARE. And I think you're a wonderful guy. And I will continue to think that about you even IF you become less willing to do everything and anything for everyone!!!

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
   
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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 09:57 AM

Good answer Craig

I always consider myself a giving person, but the people who have misused that and ruined my friendship with people has made me more skeptical. For me, I will help anyone in need, but unless I know that I can trust them with anything I do, I won't go to the ends of the earth for them or anything like that, when only a couple of years ago I would do anything for anybody. I have to restrain myself and I always wonder whether I've done the right thing, but in the end I have, because I've helped someone yet it doesn't hurt me.

Everyone has some selfishness (it sucks but that's life) but when you find a couple of people who do care and don't just use you, those are the people that you need to hold onto. The others that seem two faced, don't bother with them. Be polite, but don't give too much because then you just get hurt.

Even if these people don't treat you right, there will be at least one person in their life who they will fight anything for. That's all we can hope for.
   
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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 10:02 AM

It's the harsh truth, bud. There's bad people in this world, there's rotten people in this world, there's liars, cheaters, theives, murderers... But there's also that small sect of people that everyone often overlooks. The truly good, golden-hearted people. The people out in Africa with the peace corps, feeding little starving black children by the spoonful right now. People setting up schools in the inner city so that less fortunate children have the opportunity for an education. There's people going on cancer walks, hand-in-hand with a child diagnosed with lukemia, carrying him when he tires. People visiting the elderly in retirement homes, talking to those who have no one to talk to, making sure their story is passed on to the next generation before it's too late. People fighting fires to save a family, or giving up their weekend and nights to perform as an emergency medical technician, saving lives of those in need. Those honest to god good people, who don't brag, nor boast, nor talk bad on anyone. Those who you look into their eyes and truly see the windows of their soul, who smile and laugh and do anything to make the world a better place. That's the bit of people we so often overlook. But they're out there making a difference right now. And it's important to remember that even in your worst hours, when everyone seems to have failed you, that there's always a better man than you'd think, helping someone, somewhere and making the world go round, for no reason other than to make someone's life a little bit easier to bare.

And when it comes down to it, regardless of the misfortunes others may bring you, you are still a good person who keeps caring. There's nothing wrong with that, and keep being who you are because it's that person that's going to get somewhere in life, and leave all the other divs behind. Congratulate yourself on being you, instead of criticizing the others. Praise your good deeds, instead because they ought to live up to you, and if they don't, that's their issue, not yours.


I love the name of honour more than I fear death.
   
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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 16th 2009, 06:16 PM

I just recommend that you give everyone a chance and forgive those who have hurt you. You can forgive people for their wrongdoings but you don't always have to forget about what they did. When someone hurts you, you lost trust in them. You should try to gain that trust back. Everyone makes mistakes and has hurt another person at one time or another, so everyone deserves a second chance.

I also believe that you never know what someone has on their plate, so you can never judge them or put them down until you live a day in their life. Everyone has different circumstances. I know that those circumstances are no reason for someone to mistreat another person, but it is something to consider.

If you give everyone a chance, you have a better chance of finding the people who do care and who are real. There are people like that out there, I promise.


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
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Re: Help Restore My Faith In Humanity - December 17th 2009, 05:22 AM

I've handed out chances left, right, and center. I do favours for people, not expecting anything in return. I've stayed up all night, when I have class next day, trying to help people figure out problems. I've gone over my minutes on my cell phone bill (a considerable amount. We're talking 100+ dollars.)

I'm just sick and tired of being taken for granted, you know? I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to this. I treat others how I want to be treated, but no one seems to give me that respect back. I never use people. I don't degrade people. I give nothing but love and support. I lend my talents to those who need it. And people still feel the need to stab me in the back. Repeatedly.

I mean, I posted earlier an example of someone using me. I basically spent 2 weeks recording drum tracks for a guy. He promised me a spot in his band, promised me pay, promised me credit on the album. I got none of that. He didn't even have the balls to tell me himself that I wasn't in the band anymore. I found out by checking the facebook page for the band, and my name was replaced with another. Low, huh? I run into people like this constantly. It's ruined me. I'm coming down with physical ailments because of all the stress it puts me under.

The thing is, the business I'm in requires me to deal with shitheads like the guy I mentioned earlier all the time. Favours = favours. It's pretty simple. But people need to be honest, which no one is. I shouldn't need to have people sign contracts just so I can play drums or guitar for them. But I do have to. And it upsets me that no one can follow through on their word, that they feel the need to cheat people out of an honest living.


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