Lying

[charlottemurphy]

I'm not really sure where this goes.
I'm 19 and have a friend who is 17, I think she keeps lying to me and our friends. She had told me and my friend that she was pregnant but had miscarried. But me and my friend have been given different stories. In one she said she was pregnant for 3 months before she miscarried and in the story she told me she was pregnant for a month. Me and my friend have compared stories and they are similar but different in so many ways. My friend even told me that she was told this story before at Christmas and that it was almost the same.
She suffers from depression and I'm worried. She used to cut but she says that she hasn't done that for a while
I just don't know what to do i need help

[charlottemurphy]

She said she had this miscarriage between Wednesday and yesterday. But we went out around town at the weekend but if she had a miscarriage she would be in too much pain and discomfort to go anywhere.

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hey there.

I used to be/am still recovering from being a compulsive liar. Like your friend, I suffer from depression and I used to Self-harm. My lies were much like hers but I had about a million more on top of that. If this is her only lie, then she isn't in too deep yet. Now, some people will tell you to talk to her about it. Some people might tell you to ignore it. But honestly, the only thing that has helped for me, and a few other people that I've talked to, is to full on confront her.

I was forced to admit my lies and admit that I had a problem when I was facing feloney charges for one of my lies. My parents sat me down and told me that they knew I had lied. And I didn't even have a chance to think up another lie to cover all of these lies. And that is generally what someone who is a compulsive liar does. As soon as they are caught, they come up with another lie to cover it. And then they have to lie even more and it just all snowballs out of control. Generally it starts with just one lie - so if the pregnancy thing is all your friend has lied about then I think if you confront her now you can stop it before she gets in too deep and can't find a way out.

In most cases, compulsive liars aren't trying to lie to hurt you. So I'm glad that you see that and that you want to help her. Soemtimes they lie because they want attention, or because they are afraid that you are leaving so they come up with a lie that might make you feel sorry for them or worried about then so you stay. There could be millions of different reasons why she is lying, the important thing is that you try to help her out of it before it gets too bad and she ends up like me- facing feloney charges for lying to a police officer.

So my advice - sit her down with your other friend. Don't give her any hints that you guys are going to talk to her about her lies because that will give her time to make up a cover up lie. Just be blunt. Tell her that you've caught her lying and that you want to help her. Ask her if she can admit that she has a problem with lying - cause that is a huge step. Then, if she admits it, tell her that you want to help her, that you'll stand by her, and that maybe it would be a good idea for her to try therapy. It has done wonders for me.

Good luck, and if you have any questions just reply to the thread or PM me by clicking on the link right below this.
Take care. <3

[charlottemurphy]

Thanks for the advice, my friend is also a self harmer and when we tried to get her help she stopped talking to us for a couple of months. This isn't her first lie. She takes anti depression drugs but wonders why her mum has a go at her when her mum find the box with all but 2 tablets there

[WillO'Wisp]

First off, what she is doing is gossiping. You should just tell her to stop doing those things because it's just plain not nice to gossip about people, spread false stories behind their back. That rips a knife through friendships.
She MAY have a compulsive liar symptom. Maybe she should seek some help? Or you could sit down and lightly tell her to tell the truth and also to stop talking about people behind their back about things that don't necessarily need to be discussed.