Introvert to Extrovert?

[Skar]

Hi, I didn't know where to put this, so sorry if its in the wrong place.

I'm extremely introverted, socially awkward, or shy, however you want to put it. I've always enjoyed being alone. I had some friends in high school I guess, but had poor social skills, so I was the kid everyone in a group made fun of. Never been out with a girl, all the usual loser stuff. My social life is nothing. The only time I made friends before, was through old friends. It didn't bother me until I started going to community college, where I knew no one. For whatever reason (probably want to be normal), I really do crave social interaction, but hate it at the same time. I know it's a personality, and it's who you are but...is it possible to become an extroverted person? If so, how?

I find it extremely hard to be social in class. Speaking in a class discussion, or anything like that is terrible for me. I dread times when I have to speak in front of the class. I'm tall, so I get claustrophobic sitting behind a desk. I get really nervous in a crowd of people, so combine those two and you get me in a classroom. Not to mention I have very low self confidence, I'm always SO insecure about things like my height, posture, bad looks. I have a slight speech impediment, so I try never to talk to anyone. I imagine the only way to turn extroverted is to obviously be more outgoing until you crave that. I'm actually considering starting to smoke just to have an excuse to talk to people

I finish school, which drains me, and go home right away. I avoid any social interaction, no matter what awkward steps I have to avoid it. I might think I have some sort of disorder, but I don't know. I wish I didn't, but I care SO MUCH what other people think. I really wish I didn't, and just spoke my mind. I really do hate to admit it, but like most introverted people, I'm more comfortable online. I always think, if only I could be that comfortable in real life. Is it even possible to change your personality? Or am I just stuck like this...

[JKmadu619]

Don't be silly. Of course you can change who you are.

First of all, my brother has a speech impediment. "Look at the little rabbit" becomes "Wook at da wittle wabbit". He's working on it with a therapist, but he problem is still there. Anyone who makes fun of him is a total fucktard. If they go as far as to make fun of him, they can look forward to me breaking their jaw with a roundhouse. Trust me, if anyone says anything rude to you, there are people like me who view them as the scum of society. Anyhow, many children have speech impediments that they "grow out of". According to my brother's speech therapist, one in ten kids has had one at some point, so by your age, ten percent of everyone has had a speech issue. No one will view you as any less.

Secondly, being insecure about yourself is apart of getting older. Everyone is insecure, even if about one small thing. My weight is something I'm insecure about, even though I'm in a healthy weight range. It worries me that someone is going to crack a fat joke or something, no matter what I'm doing. And I won't even think to go swimming in classes or parties with people my age. The big thing is getting over it, and realizing everyone has a flaw. Some people have oily skin, some people have bad hair, some people walk with pigeon-toed. Everyone is too caught up in their own petty issues to worry about yours.

Third, smoking is hazardous to your health and every smoke you have cuts your life by a quarter of a day, smoke a twelve pack a day and do the math. Don't be a fool. Nothing more to say on the topic.

Four, as hard as it is, strike up a conversation. If someone is wearing a cool t-shirt, tell them. Talk to people in your class about anything at all, if they have a mac, tell them how you prefer it over PC. Someone commented about how my sister loves X-men one day in sixth grade, and they've been great friends ever since. This was nine years ago. Something small will make friends, and if it doesn't, at least you're learning people skills.

Five, sign up for crap. Yes for introverts it sucks. I hate being social, I hate being seen. However I signed up for an acting class because it would help my school grades in art, it's a long story. Anyway, acting is public speaking, even in your class you're reading scripts in front of a decent sized group. The thing is, being with people who have a common interest with you, and who are all overcomming public speaking issues will help you. Acting/drama/improvisition/voice/debate/public speaking courses will work wonders for you. Do not write these off as things for bored "kids" because they offer courses for peoiple aged 6-60. Honestly any theater production company will offer recreational courses, you don't even need to preform in front of an audience.

Six, you can change, and you probably already know how. Work on it, follow my tips if you really are lost, and just be brave.

- Justin

[chickenonsteroids]

One thing you'll realise is that people don't actually care enough about anyone to really comment on it the older you are. The reason why people are self conscious is because we can only guess other peoples thoughts by using our own ... the our mind messes with us in a bad way lol

You have little to worry about, stand tall and tell yourself that

plus you don't need to go from extreme to extreme

[silentmuffin]

Sure you can become more extroverted, but you should remember that deep down you do have those introvert tendencies and that's perfectly okay so don't beat yourself up if it's hard. Extroversion and introversion are just your natural preferences, you don't have to be stuck in one or the other in all aspects of your life for your whole life. It might be difficult for you to become more extroverted, so that's why you should start small, be patient with yourself, and try to begin with an activity or in an area that you have a big interest in or know a lot about, so it's more comfortable and natural to make progress. Try joining one club at school for something you like, or take a class that really interests you and that you think you will do well in, and it will be easier for you to answer questions or talk with the professor/other students and go from there.

I am an introvert but usually have no problems talking in class or being extroverted around my close friends. It's just something you have to learn to get comfortable with, and accept that you might never be as comfortable with it as those natural extroverts. That's okay, there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. The problem is that extroverts outnumber the introverts, and they certainly outspeak them just because of the fact that they're the ones speaking while we hide and stay quiet, so unfortunately the world has catered to them and has sort of shunned us as "abnormal". That's not the case at all and as long as you can find ways to enjoy your life, don't feel pressured to put yourself out there any more than you want to. If and when you want to, start small and just go for it, once you see it worked out for you, it'll be easier to do on a larger scale.

[Kate*]

I completely understand what you're saying because I'm the same way. You will always be more introverted than extroverted, but there are things you can do to become more socially comfortable. It took me a long time to realize that people don't really care what you say or do as much as you imagine they do. That doesn't mean they don't care about you, it just means that they're judging you far less than you think they are and they can probably relate to you if something bad and/or embarrassing happens to you because stuff like that happens to everybody. Also, you aren't going to make everyone happy. There will always be people who disagree with your opinions or views, but that doesn't make them invalid and people are disagreeing with what you're saying, not with you as a person. There will be people who accept you for who you are, Please DO NOT start smoking to make friends. As I got older things got better for me, I guess I kind of started to outgrow it.

I hope this helped at least a little

[MrsV]

I understand what you are saying I was more or less the same way. But I found a friend who is always there with me by my side in bad and good times. It was great talking and being able to express my ideas and get honest feedback. You are not alone there are many other people that feel the same way. First of all God made you to his imagine and that is wonderful, you have a great heart and that is what counts, your physical appearance should never be a burden to anyone because that is what makes YOU UNIQUE in the eyes of the beholder. This friend I have is my extra shoulder to lean on and my rock in which I hold on to when things get a bit hard or if there is an abstacle in the way. He helps me overcome anything and doesn't ask for anything in return just to be honest and true to him. HE IS GOD. Don't mean to sound religious but it helped me to open up the bible and read then go to church and enteract about something I knew well and this is how I made friends. I am 40 years old and have pasted this to my four children of 22, 21, 15 & 7 years old.