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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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hestina22 Offline
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Tired - June 27th 2017, 09:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm very tired.
I feel really ugly and I try not to eat very much.
The feeling of hunger is almost nice, in a way. It makes me feel like I am able to do something about being ugly. People have told me that I am pretty-not because I call myself ugly in front of them or anything, just because they want to. That is nice and makes me feel better, and in a weird way the way I perceive myself changes if someone is nice to me like that. But then something happens, and I feel ugly again.

Yesterday, my mum was asking me what I am allowed to wear in sixth form (what is the dress code) and I told her, it's basically smart clothes, in any colour. It even said that on the website. So I told her that, and she created another argument with me. She started asking "like what kind of colours though?" and I said "any colour". And she kept asking "like what colour?!" and shouting. Why? Any colour, why is that difficult to understand??? Then I listed the colours of the rainbow, because wtf what did she even mean? Then she told me to trek down to the school to ask them what colours I am allowed to wear, and for them to list them. But why??? It specifically says 'any colour' so how can I actually ask them what colours like I'm a one year old who doesn't know colours. I tried to tell her that the website says any colour, but she just kept talking over me and really loudly. I tried to get my point across but she never listens. Ever.
That just triggered me to go hungry and maybe even cut in secret, so I can gain control again. I don't know why she is like this. She tells me I don't talk to her, but then when I try she never listens. How can that work?

Sorry if this thread doesn't make much sense, I just wanted to let this all out.
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Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Tired - June 29th 2017, 06:40 PM

I'm going to move this to the 'Why me?' forum as it's a good place to rant and feel your thread fits better there.

Regarding your eating habits, I'm wondering if you have told anyone about it? I'm sure your not as ugly as you think, and it doesn't sound like others think you are ugly either. I hope that you are able to realise this and not let your eating habits get out of control.

I'm sorry to hear that your mom yelled at you when you told her that the uniform could be any colour. Perhaps she can call the school herself to find out more? Or perhaps you can ask friends what they are wearing just so you have suggestions for your mom.

Your thread makes sense and it's always good to just rant about things!

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.Brittany. Offline
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Re: Tired - June 30th 2017, 06:13 PM

This is what the Why Me forum is for. You just need to let all of your thoughts and feelings out even if it doesn't make sense. However, your post make sense to me. I'm sorry to hear that your mom isn't listening to you when you say that you can wear any colour. I think she might have just been double checking before she buys you a yellow uniform. (I just picked a random colour)

I hope you start feeling better soon!

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stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”

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