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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Effy2018 Offline
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Fed up - November 15th 2018, 08:56 PM

Me and my ex have been split up since July yet he is still trying to cause trouble between me and my family and friends. He posted a status on Facebook saying he got nothing out of our relationship which was quite hurtful. Apparently I borrowed hundreds of pounds off him which I know I didn't because the only money I spent on me and my daughter was our own money. Apparently I'm selfish, ignorant and cold hearted. Why is he doing this to me? He was the one who ruined the relationship, he was the one who kept letting me down and not turning up when we were supposed to meet. He was the one that didn't even pick up the phone so I knew he was okay, he was the one who used to sit on games all night and sleep all day and make me worried out of mind in case something had happened to him. I even called the police at some point because I was so worried, he tried to say he had a migrane so why didn't he ring or text me to let me know instead of not turning up. I found out he was lying and that he was on his brand new game all night and that was the last straw. I wasn't going to put up with it no more, I was not going to be let down anymore, I was not going to let a man like that in my daughter's life and here he is now trying to cause trouble because he can't have me back. Its causing so much stress, I've barely been eating or sleeping and when I do sleep I have the scariest of nightmares because of all the stress. Why is this happening to me? Why can't he just let me get on with my life instead of harassing me like this? I just want to be able to try and move on but every time I think I am about to something kicks off and I end off right back where I started. I feel so down and stressed, my daughter is at school as well so most days I now feel really lonely.
   
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Re: Fed up - November 17th 2018, 06:28 AM

Hey,

Relationships can be rough, especially when we don't end up getting along with people. I would really open up to your friends and family about the situation so that you can trust they will not split away from you due to his behavior. I would also suggest to make your social media accounts private and block him - there is no reason you need that kind of negativity in your life. And with having a daughter you cannot allow him to try to harm you in any way.

Is he doing anything that may be police worthy? It might be worth filing a report so that if something happens you have more proof. If needed definitely look into a restraining order. I would also maybe speak to your daughters teachers to ensure that he does not interfere with that at all.

With the way he's treating you it sounds like you made a good decision to leave. Now you have to make sure he's not affecting your life anymore. Block him where needed and make it very clear that you want no more contact. And make sure in the meantime to take care of yourself. Maybe ask some of the other mom's at school if they want to go out to coffee during the day? Some of them may struggle with the transition as well, so maybe you could help each other!

Good Luck!
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Re: Fed up - November 18th 2018, 01:38 PM

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and I hope that you will be alright soon.

You we're saying that you and your ex have been split up for a little bit and I'm truly sorry that happened to you. When you are going out with someone and then the two of you are not together anymore, it is not right that they are causing problems for you with your family, friends and yourself. They should just let you go and move on. Would you be able to talk to your ex about this and say how you need it to stop. If you do not want to go along you can meet him up at a place where you have a lot of people like a restaurant and just sit and talk. You can have your friends near by too if you want to do that also. Or you can write a letter and put everything in it that has been happening and then give it to him or have someone else give it to him or mail it to him. Then in the letter you can say that you do not want to talk to him anymore or you need to let me go and move on. Also whatever else you need to say to him so that he understands why you feel like this. I know it is hard talking to someone that you are not with anymore and I'm sorry he is doing this to you.

You said that you are having trouble eating and sleeping. Would you be able to talk to someone about this to help you out. A friend or family member or therapist or counselor and let them know that you are going through a lot right now and you need some help. You would be able to meet with them once a week and just talk about all of this that is happening to you and they would be able to help you so that you are okay. When you are having trouble sleeping try to read or draw or get a cup of chamomile tea or sleep time tea and drink that. It will help calm you down then hopefully you will be able to sleep soon. When you are having trouble eating try to get something that you enjoy eating to help you out. It can be anything that you like and try to keep eating little more and more. So that you have something in you. When you are not eating enough it is not good for you, so try to eat and drink more if you can. Also when you are upset or stressed would you be able to get your mind off of this for a while. For example going for a walk or calling a friend or family member or putting on music or funny movies or reading or drawing or anything else that you enjoy doing to help you out for a while. Would you be able to do something with your daughter to help you out too, you both can put on a movie or play a game or going for a walk or making cookies or something else that you like to do to also help you out. I know that when we are going through something we may not know how to open up or talk to someone about this. But when we keep all of these feelings to ourselves, it can make us feel upset more and more because we are not taking about it. If you are able to just let one person in that you trust to help you out then hopefully you will feel a little bit better. I hope that you will be alright soon and everything works out for you.


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Re: Fed up - November 18th 2018, 03:03 PM

I am so sorry you are going through all this.

I have never been in a long term relationship, but he sounds like deep down inside he don't want to let it go and in his own warped way this is the way he is keeping it going. My advice to you is block him on every Social Media site you have so he can have the least amount of contact with you.
   
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Re: Fed up - November 21st 2018, 01:17 PM

Hey guys,

Thanks for all of the advice, me and my ex have spoken things over and we have both decided its best if we both move on. He now realises what he has been doing has hurt me and he is sorry. I won't be hearing from him again, now its time to try and move on with my life without all of the hassle. I am pleased we just sat and sorted it out rather than me having to involve the police due to harassment, hopefully it won't go back to the way it was.
   
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Re: Fed up - November 22nd 2018, 12:30 AM

Hi Michaela,

I'm so glad you two were able to speak to each other. Things always get very stressful when the police get involved so I'm glad you were able to avoid that.

Since this was settled, I'm going to close this thread, please PM me if you want it reopened.



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