I got fucked over, again.

[Jake]

So here i am, i think this is the 5th time this has happened? I stopped counting after the 2nd. I'm not quite sure why I listen to her every fucking time. She did this to me and I let her, we were talking; just as friends for about 2 months maybe more, I haven't been counting. Sure i was flirty, but why wouldn't i be. I find her attractive and it's fun, why not.

So then a few weeks ago, she decides to tell me she 'miss misses' me. Out of the blue. So I think about it for a bit and decide I miss her like that too, secretly I've always wanted us to get back together, I've slowly fallen in love with her.

We got into this really deep conversation about our feelings for eachother and everything comes out. I mean, we talked about so much that eventually our conversation just died because we'd ran out of material. So here's me thinking, this is great! All this waiting and she finally admits to feeling the same about me. That night she fell asleep and we never came to any real conclusion. The next night she started texting me again saying she missed me and all that, so I played into it and suggested us getting back together. She said she needed to think about it.

She has a boyfriend, so us getting back together would mean that ending. So i gave her time to consider things and every now and then(Few days) I'd bring up the topic to ask what she was thinking. She would always just say she was thinking about it and never would have a definite answer for me.

But she would still tell me she loved me and still talk about how she felt, would still call me every day and everything that kind of showed she still felt the same as when she admitted her feelings. So I didn't worry, if she meant what she said in the end she would realise I was right for her, right?

No. This went on for weeks, during these weeks she would still see her boyfriend and STILL until this date has not hung out with me in person. (And it has been this way for months, I don't honestly remember the last time we had a real day out.)

Obviously this is gonna ring some bells and it did. I seen the continuing pattern from every other time this happened. Started to feel as if this was going to repeat, but she would always comfort me when we were on the phone and just re-confirm how she felt here and there with cute little things.

I was confident that this time she would be mine, it's different to every other time. Last week, it got to the point where we were just straight up flirting on the phone. That night she began sending me revealing pictures, i thought this was a pretty strong sign as to how things were going.

So this week we began making plans to hang out. She lives a bit away, but not too far. Thursday, she was supposed to come to where i live. But yeah, she conveniently got ill. Which seems to always happen, every fucking time. But I can't argue with illness. So she asked me to come down the next day to hang out with her and some friends.

Next day i call her to see whats going on, she doesn't answer her phone. When i finally get through to her 3 hours later. She acts as if she hasn't been ignoring me and when i ask has she been in school, she tells me she skipped school and was in the place where her boyfriend(ex i think at this point?) lives, I question why and I'm told she was at a friends house, doing 'stuff'. I ask why she's suddenly being all secrective and sneaky, she denies it and at this point I know exactly what happened that day and say that I'm coming down to hang out with her and she acts as if she hadn't asked me the day before and sort of just says "No you're not, I'm going out now" at which point she had pissed me off and I just ended the phone call there.

We talked later that night and things were kind of normal again, I just acted as if earlier that day hadn't happened to try and get a decent conversation going and it worked. She asked me to do something with her on Sunday, unless something came up and when i questioned it. I was told 'family things'. I was quite sick of her making plans and never following through with them.

Sometime between then and saturday she also mentioned coming out to where i live on Monday because she had a day off school. Great! right?

So on saturday she always goes to town like usual and i don't bother trying to talk to her, I'm busy anyway. So that night she texts me and asks me to babysit with her, I agree and think great I'm finally gonna see her.

I get up there at about 11 and we talk and just play around and have fun. At the same time she's texting her (ex?)boyfriend and having an arguement, from what i could hear her reading out loud i assumed she had broken up with him for me. So, being the decent person i am. I didn't think it would be appropriate to try make any moves on her while she was having an arguement and just kept our play clean. We talked about Sunday and Monday and I find out she's going out to where her boyfriend lives on Sunday. Tells me she's being made go when I quote her family things bullshit, my fucking ass. Fuck her.

At around 12:30 he wanted her to call her, so i ended being told to go home basically. Which cost me €20. Pissed me off that I went up there for an hour and ended paying €20 to get home, won't be doing that again in a hurry. After getting home I had a long talk with my mom(Was weird, but worth it) i text her and started questioning things. If I really meant something to her, I would be #1 on her list of priorities and she would make it so we could see eachother, not keep giving me excuses and standing me up. She replied once and said i did mean something to her but she was torn, bla bla bla bla bla. I continued questioning her("This doesn't seem real" "is this ever going to work" "do you want this to work" "this kind of stuff has been going on for a long time") she didn't reply. I know her phone is messed up and that's the reason she couldn't reply to me. So i just sent her another text saying, I don't really care why she didn't reply whether she fell asleep or is ignoring me/whatever she needs to make her mind up, because I'm not going to be hanging around forever. I'd just about had enough.

On Sunday I try to call her to talk and find out if today(monday) was going ahead and if not I was going to end stuff right there and then I'd had enough.

But she refused to answer her phone, whether she was ignoring her phone or not I don't know. I sent a text that night to let her know I needed to talk to her. 15 minutes later, she sent me a text saying she had replied last night but it wouldn't send. So what she said in it must have been pretty conclusive, since she was set on me recieving it. I asked what was in it and she never replied, but I'm going to assume it just wouldn't send again.

Today she wouldn't answer her phone and i text her telling her to, if she was standing me up again I wanted to fucking end whatever it was that we had. She replied and said she'd talk to me later. Obviously she's with her fucking boyfriend again and I've been stood up. She chose him over me again. I'm done. I told her not to fucking bother trying to talk to me.

I've been fucked, again. I'm so fucking tired of this shit. But you know she told me something her friends boyfriend said about her before;

He said, "Once you're happy, you don't care about anyone or anything else." and its the fucking truth.

I'm not the only person she's stood up and chose her boyfriend over, she's a selfish fucking bitch and honestly needs to die. This is the last time I have anything to do with her.

She just text me saying that text still won't send, so it obviously had something in it that she wants me to read; but i don't give a fuck. I'm not replying and she's on my ignore list, she can go fuck herself.