Non-PG13 (Strong Language): I hate this so much..

[-A-]

I'm fucking sick of all this shit. One thing after another. I'm always getting the short end of the stick. And I can't fucking taking it anymore...

Court: I have to go before a criminal court nov 30.. Cues of a speeding ticket.. And it wasn't my fucking fault. The god damn rug got stuck on the accelerator.. But noooo, no ones believes me. Even though the fucking rug was recalled due to that very reason... Bitches.... Oh and if I get found guilty I'm going to be kicked out of explorers, fire department, won't be hind my my local police department this summer or gett accepted in the paramedic program.. And I could lose my license..... Fucking great..

Mom: she's been such a pms'y sycho bitch lately. Everything is my fault according to her... Even when she fuckes up, it's still my fault... And she expect me to respect her.. Ha... Oh and if I get this ROTC scholarship and accept it, apparently she'll take it as a personal betrayal... Right.. Grow the fuck up.. Hah she making feel like shit so much lately.. I hate it..

Past: I keeping having these flashbacks from my past lately.. At the most random times.. And that's making everything worse.. I don't need to remember all that crap. I just need to block it..

Adults: i am sick and tired of deal with adults who's heads are so far up their asses that they accept that as the norm... Fuck you.. Gro a pair, man up and do what your suppose to do.

Eagle project: god damn this was suppose to be a great time. A chance for me to shine... But all my moms doing it bitching to me about it... Oh thanks mom your being a great help making me feel like shit... I just love it when you do this... Sike

K: what the fuck is wrong with you right now.. All I've ever been is surportive and kind... And now you wanna play this game again.. Wft... Even when you used me time and time again I didn't leave.. And you know that... All I've done is try to make you feel better.. Maybe if you'd open your eyes you'd see that just maybe, are fears are a lot a like...

People: I'm sick an tired of hearing my friends giving into guys just cues they couldnt say no.... There ass holes but they don't say no.. But my friends tell me how amazing I am and if only (insert excuses here) then maybe we could work out... Right..... Maybe if I was a condensending prick then maybe I'd be getting somewhere.. Cues that's all y'all care about it seems.. Cues being the nice guy just gets me the short end of the stick... But wit, my hearts to big to be an ass hole.. Shit.. Sucks for me...

Life: is shit. Can't drive. Hell at my house. Birthday in a week. Need a hair cut. Kicked off the basketball team. No Job thanks to my parents. Sick. House is a mess. Xmas is almost here and it's gonna be shit. I can't do anything with praise team right now. College papers due. SAT's again soon. Stressed. Forgot to take fall pictures. High school sr pictures. Damn dog barks all the time.. Literitly 24/7... Tired... My friends are being doche bags..I have to go to lab corp to give blood and such to find out what ihave.. Still having writers block... Pretty sure my dogs dying... I keep seeing my exs... Fuck my life...

[leavemealone]

I am very sorry that life is treating you so unfairly, but getting angry about it doesn't do anything but mess with your head. In times like these, you just have to have faith and keep going on, because eventually it'll get better, and you know that. Sometimes you just have to ignore what other people think and follow what YOU want, and when you do, you will be happy. Right now, you just need to take a deep breath and take life one step at a time. Everything happens for a reason. And who knows? Maybe this'll all end on a good note. PM me if you wanna talk stay strong!

[Here.with.you]

Hey. It will all work out . I promise. And why didnt I know about all this? It's ok I understand, I'm the same way. But know I'm ALWAYS here for you. Just know God has a plan for you and in the end these fights might be hard but they will make you stronger. Talk to you soon? Ok

[Justin Bieber]

Court: I have to go before a criminal court nov 30.. Cues of a speeding ticket.. And it wasn't my fucking fault. The god damn rug got stuck on the accelerator.. But noooo, no ones believes me. Even though the fucking rug was recalled due to that very reason... Bitches.... Oh and if I get found guilty I'm going to be kicked out of explorers, fire department, won't be hind my my local police department this summer or gett accepted in the paramedic program.. And I could lose my license..... Fucking great..

Do you have some sort of plan of action? Have you talked with a lawyer at all? (Do you need one?) Perhaps having some legal advice could be beneficial. IF you are found guilty, are you sure those things will be of consequence? Or is that worse case scenario? I'm really sorry this has happened You will get through this though-- even if you are found guilty, it's not the end of the world

Mom: she's been such a pms'y sycho bitch lately. Everything is my fault according to her... Even when she fuckes up, it's still my fault... And she expect me to respect her.. Ha... Oh and if I get this ROTC scholarship and accept it, apparently she'll take it as a personal betrayal... Right.. Grow the fuck up.. Hah she making feel like shit so much lately.. I hate it..

This can be *really* aggravating... everyone has had these moments with their parents and it's awful. She's probably just stressed and wants to take some of the responsibility and burden off herself. Why would she take a scholarship acceptance as a betrayal? That seems really weird...

Past: I keeping having these flashbacks from my past lately.. At the most random times.. And that's making everything worse.. I don't need to remember all that crap. I just need to block it..

Is blocking it all out best? Or maybe dealing with it for a few, set, hours and then moving past it might be better? Sometimes ignoring things can just make them worse. Maybe even jot down a couple thoughts, you can come back to them later or never, but at least you got them out.

Eagle project: god damn this was suppose to be a great time. A chance for me to shine... But all my moms doing it bitching to me about it... Oh thanks mom your being a great help making me feel like shit... I just love it when you do this... Sike

This is for Boy Scouts, right? This is a HUGE deal, if I remember correctly. Congratulations on making it this far-- I bet your project is fantastic... despite the support and help from your mother.

K: what the fuck is wrong with you right now.. All I've ever been is surportive and kind... And now you wanna play this game again.. Wft... Even when you used me time and time again I didn't leave.. And you know that... All I've done is try to make you feel better.. Maybe if you'd open your eyes you'd see that just maybe, are fears are a lot a like...

This must be really hard for you... It can be really upsetting to have issues with close friends/family. I'm sure she/he is not trying to upset or hurt you... You mention fears-- maybe the game she/he is playing is out of fear? I'm not sure, but in any case, I really hope things work out. It sounds like you really did try to be there and be open for this person... and having it not be reciprocated must be frustrating.

People: I'm sick an tired of hearing my friends giving into guys just cues they couldnt say no.... There ass holes but they don't say no.. But my friends tell me how amazing I am and if only (insert excuses here) then maybe we could work out... Right..... Maybe if I was a condensending prick then maybe I'd be getting somewhere.. Cues that's all y'all care about it seems.. Cues being the nice guy just gets me the short end of the stick... But wit, my hearts to big to be an ass hole.. Shit.. Sucks for me...

So, your friends are doing things they don't want to do, nor do you want them to do, but they do them anyways cause they are incapable of saying no. But, maybe this isn't your place to butt in? Although, in reality, your opinion and care for them is so meaningful and worthwhile. Do you feel left out, maybe? I imagine it's hard to keep hearing excuse after excuse... and I'm sorry that this has been happening. You don't deserve to get the short end all the time.

Life: is shit. Can't drive. Hell at my house. Birthday in a week. Need a hair cut. Kicked off the basketball team. No Job thanks to my parents. Sick. House is a mess. Xmas is almost here and it's gonna be shit. I can't do anything with praise team right now. College papers due. SAT's again soon. Stressed. Forgot to take fall pictures. High school sr pictures. Damn dog barks all the time.. Literitly 24/7... Tired... My friends are being doche bags..I have to go to lab corp to give blood and such to find out what ihave.. Still having writers block... Pretty sure my dogs dying... I keep seeing my exs... Fuck my life...

Happy (early) Birthday Sounds like... a lot is going on. A whole lot. Try to get some sleep and take some echinacea. Stress won't help your illness either-- so as hard as it may be, try to relax? College essays and SATs ARE stressful, but you will get through it all. Remember, you have winter break to go over the essays again. You can send the to your teachers to review, or even post them here! As for the SATs, they are just one test. As long as you get in a certain range, you're fine.

I just hope everything gets better. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful! Please take care, and let me know if I can help. Especially with college essays.

[-A-]

Originally Posted by Santa

Do you have some sort of plan of action? Have you talked with a lawyer at all? (Do you need one?) Perhaps having some legal advice could be beneficial. IF you are found guilty, are you sure those things will be of consequence? Or is that worse case scenario? I'm really sorry this has happened You will get through this though-- even if you are found guilty, it's not the end of the world

I could get a lawyer, but the amount it would cost, it would be pointless. And "Justices of the Peace" in Delaware, can be any john, dick or henry. You don't need a law degree or any exp. in the criminal justice. Which is bitter sweet... If you kiss ass, you have a better chacne of getting off somewhat and it would be much easier to appeal their desion cues they don know jack shit about what they can and can't do, case law; heck, anything involving the law.

And if I'm found guilty, those things will most likely happen. My lisencse will be suspended. I havent talked to my Cpl. yet, so I don;t know about explorers. Fire Department, most likely. Police Department, same thing as the fire department.

This can be *really* aggravating... everyone has had these moments with their parents and it's awful. She's probably just stressed and wants to take some of the responsibility and burden off herself. Why would she take a scholarship acceptance as a betrayal? That seems really weird...

I don't know. And I don't care why. She does this all the time but will complain about every little thing I do.

I don't know where you live (US maybe?), but in the US each branch of the US Armed forces (except the Coast Guard) has a program called ROTC (Reserve Officers Training Corps). If ROTC scholarship and Accept it, they will pay for you to get your degree (bachelor's - for me it would be nursing), once you graduate you have a 4 year contract with that branch as a Commissioned Officer in what ever field you got your degree it. She HATES the idea of me being in the military. Shes says im not a killer (even though I'd be a nurse). That everything she has taught me will be thrown out (she believes in - God first, Family secound, job third). While it is true the milltary is demanding and has a large control on your life, with my future goal of becoming a Police officer, there are many similarities and its considered to be much more dangerous.

Is blocking it all out best? Or maybe dealing with it for a few, set, hours and then moving past it might be better? Sometimes ignoring things can just make them worse. Maybe even jot down a couple thoughts, you can come back to them later or never, but at least you got them out.

I would love to deal with everything. I really would. But I never have the free time to.. Plus kinda feeling numb doesn't help.

This is for Boy Scouts, right? This is a HUGE deal, if I remember correctly. Congratulations on making it this far-- I bet your project is fantastic... despite the support and help from your mother.

Yep, Boy Scouts. The very thing I've been striving for in scouts for the last 10 years. And thank you.

This must be really hard for you... It can be really upsetting to have issues with close friends/family. I'm sure she/he is not trying to upset or hurt you... You mention fears-- maybe the game she/he is playing is out of fear? I'm not sure, but in any case, I really hope things work out. It sounds like you really did try to be there and be open for this person... and having it not be reciprocated must be frustrating.

Well almost every other game she has played has been out of fear. She even amitted thats why she's doing this. She afraid I'm going tell make her feel safe then just use her and walk away. I keep reassuring her that I won't. That everything we've been through proves that enough. That all I want is to try to make her see what she cant see in the mirror.

dSo, your friends are doing things they don't want to do, nor do you want them to do, but they do them anyways cause they are incapable of saying no. But, maybe this isn't your place to butt in? Although, in reality, your opinion and care for them is so meaningful and worthwhile. Do you feel left out, maybe? I imagine it's hard to keep hearing excuse after excuse... and I'm sorry that this has been happening. You don't deserve to get the short end all the time.

But that thing is, everytime, they asked for my advice/vent/etc... Which is fine.. But this has happened like 5 times this week and I'm just like omg really... Just shoot me now...

And the thing that annoy me the most is that they all say that I'm a great guy. That they wish they could be with me. That blah blah blah.. But every time its an excuse. And that annoys me. I cant be an major ass hole (most the time), but these guys are banging them and getting there attention, while I have to work my ass just to get more then dozen texts....

Happy (early) Birthday Sounds like... a lot is going on. A whole lot. Try to get some sleep and take some echinacea. Stress won't help your illness either-- so as hard as it may be, try to relax? College essays and SATs ARE stressful, but you will get through it all. Remember, you have winter break to go over the essays again. You can send the to your teachers to review, or even post them here! As for the SATs, they are just one test. As long as you get in a certain range, you're fine.

Thanks. Sleep.. ehh... If I get the time lol and whats echinaceaa? I've never heard of that. And thats for the advice on the college essays.

I just hope everything gets better. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful! Please take care, and let me know if I can help. Especially with college essays.

Thank you...

And sorry about the font change.. Something about the quoting messed it up. lol

And not to bitch more.. But I just found out that my ex isn't over me... and she's having surgery this week.. Seriously... FML

[Justin Bieber]

I could get a lawyer, but the amount it would cost, it would be pointless. And "Justices of the Peace" in Delaware, can be any john, dick or henry. You don't need a law degree or any exp. in the criminal justice. Which is bitter sweet... If you kiss ass, you have a better chacne of getting off somewhat and it would be much easier to appeal their desion cues they don know jack shit about what they can and can't do, case law; heck, anything involving the law.

Even with a not so great lawyer, it's another perspective and it will look like you care. Hopefully even if you are found guilty, you can talk to the fire and police departments separately to explain the situation. I'd imagine they'd keep you around

I don't know where you live (US maybe?), but in the US each branch of the US Armed forces (except the Coast Guard) has a program called ROTC (Reserve Officers Training Corps). If ROTC scholarship and Accept it, they will pay for you to get your degree (bachelor's - for me it would be nursing), once you graduate you have a 4 year contract with that branch as a Commissioned Officer in what ever field you got your degree it. She HATES the idea of me being in the military. Shes says im not a killer (even though I'd be a nurse). That everything she has taught me will be thrown out (she believes in - God first, Family secound, job third). While it is true the milltary is demanding and has a large control on your life, with my future goal of becoming a Police officer, there are many similarities and its considered to be much more dangerous.

Yes, I am familiar with ROTC. I think your mom has the right to voice her opinions, but ultimately, it's your decision. You can also drop out of the program after your first year if you find that it's not working for you. Do what's best for you.

I would love to deal with everything. I really would. But I never have the free time to.. Plus kinda feeling numb doesn't help.

This is weird, but can you make the time? I mean. I know you're insanely busy and this seems... not important or as pressing as others, but I do think that making the time to deal with one of these stressors may be worthwhile. Or at least time to VENT about this.

Well almost every other game she has played has been out of fear. She even amitted thats why she's doing this. She afraid I'm going tell make her feel safe then just use her and walk away. I keep reassuring her that I won't. That everything we've been through proves that enough. That all I want is to try to make her see what she cant see in the mirror.

THAT can be SCARY as fuck. Getting close and then being abandoned. And I'm SURE this has happened to her before. Sometimes reassurance is not enough-- it's your actions and a leap of faith on her part. Slowly, I imagine she'll get the faith she needs. You can't force someone to be ready for something they aren't-- have patience

And the thing that annoy me the most is that they all say that I'm a great guy. That they wish they could be with me. That blah blah blah.. But every time its an excuse. And that annoys me. I cant be an major ass hole (most the time), but these guys are banging them and getting there attention, while I have to work my ass just to get more then dozen texts....

I'm sorry. Try not to see yourself in competition with them?

Thanks. Sleep.. ehh... If I get the time lol and whats echinaceaa? I've never heard of that. And thats for the advice on the college essays.

You can also try napping-- 20 minutes or 1.5 hrs. Echinacea is a vitamin that helps a LOT with preventing and recovering from illnesses-- especially general sicknesses (ie. common cold).

And not to bitch more.. But I just found out that my ex isn't over me... and she's having surgery this week.. Seriously... FML

Is her not being over you, YOUR problem? Your worries? Your stress? Do you want/need to address something? If not, forget about it! You've got enough to deal with!!! I hope her surgery goes well.

Wish you the best,
Amy

[Raining Glitter]

Court
Wow I'm actually surprised. I know speeding tickets for teenagers are bad, but I never thought this bad. Definitely since your case is reasonable. I mean your 1. An Eagle Scout (or soon to be) 2. Part of explorers 3. a fireman/in a fireman program 4. ROTC 5. Church praise group 6. you desire to join a paramedic program 7. the rug is actually recalled for. <- just from your 1st post -ECT.

I mean this could be an easy case-something even a greenhorn lawyer could do. Since you are getting trailed in a criminal court- it means that the court is required to give you a lawyer if you can't afford one. Obliviously you are a good judge of character AND the rug was recalled-so it should be no sweat. Do you have any friends in the fire/police/paramedic department? I know my dad's cop friends always throw his speeding tickets out for him without a blink of an eye, and same goes with my friend's tickets because his dad is a fireman/paramedic.

Mom/Eagle Project
It sounds like your mom is more worried about you getting killed, so she's been on your case about everything. My mom been acting the same lately (and I'm not in ROTC). I think it's fleeing the nest syndrome or something. She gets more naggy and picky about everything because these are the last months she can control your life. Soon you'll be out in the big bad word, let alone in the military-and she might be spazzing out about this. Don't take it personally. If it helps, try counting the days or something?

Congrats on your scholarship! Also, congrats on your eagle scout project! I'm not sure if you are an eagle scout yet, but at least working on the project is something! My brother never made it to eagle scout because his boyscout troop had nutzy leaders... (Blaaah don't get me started...) It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. As long as you believe you are doing something amazing and helpful-that's important. Although other people's praise is nice, it doesn't make what you do a good thing. What makes your actions good is what you personally do, even if it isn't fully recognized.

Past
I'm sorry you're having bad flashbacks. Those can be though. Ignoring/blocking them out doesn't help because either 1. it doesn't work or 2. You actually block it out, but not remembering what happen will bother you later on in life (that's what happened to me makes like frustrating).

What might help you get through them is talking about it. Getting it off your chest so it bothers you less and less. Believe me, just talking about it helps so much. It is like getting the image out of your mind through words (verbally or written) takes this giant bolder off your shoulders. Try talking about it with your friends and family. Even if you feel like you really can't (I highly recommend you do) you can still talk about them on here. Make a thread, PM me-or anyone else on here. We want to help you and get through this. If you feel like it is bothering you and you aren't near a computer-try writing it down, whether it is in a notebook, scratch paper, ect. Just putting it somewhere other than leaving it to rot in your mind helps soooo much!

Adults
I completely agree! There are so many adults that need to man/woman up and grow a pair. They need to realize that they need to start acting like proper adults instead of playing childish games/ect. Sadly, adults are human too. They make mistakes, have character flaws, and don't always do the right thing. It is very disappointing, I know, definitely if you grew up thinking every adult is suppose to be the superhero savior like all those movies/tv shows make them out to be. Some adults don't deserve to be parents, or deserve the jobs they have. They do things for the wrong reasons. :/ It sucks.

K
I'm sorry this person (who ever he/she is) is playing mind games of you. Sometimes people get to wrapped up in their own pain that they are oblivious to the world around them. Also, that they get so scared of more pain, they beg for a person to come save them while they also push that person away (aka mind games out of insecurity). I'm sorry you are caught up in it. It is very nice of you to care and try to help this person.

People
This has nothing to do with you "not being good enough". You sound like a wonderful person, truly. And you sound like someone who would be an awesome boyfriend. Don't take your friends personally. I'm guessing they are high school students too? Here's the thing about high school relationships: 1. they don't show "true love" or rarely do 2. they are more naive silly than actual relationships

3. a lot of people don't even date in high school! High school, even if it is a huuuge school, are actually really small and clique. Once you get out of high school and into the adult world, with college or a job, your options open so much and you meet people/talk to people you never dreamed on talking to during high school. High school is all immature, judgemental. Most people don't start becoming more mature until their upperclassmen years, although they still have their opinions about people from their underclassmen immature years.

4.Your friend truly don't know what they want and might be very confused, which is why they might go after those "jerkfaces" hehe. 5. TV lies. It says you are supposed to always have a girlfriend, fall in love during high school, blah blah blah. Well, it is a pile of BS. Like I said, a lot of people never date in high school, and they are perfectly fine, beautiful/handsome, young people. Don't believe any of that media BS- you are perfectly fine. Oh and BTW. I never dated, never had a boyfriend, and never kissed a guy. I'm your age- 17 and a senior in high school. There is nothing wrong with me- it's just high school.

Life
Aw that sucks, I'm sorry... Well at least it is better than me who actually can't drive. My lack of an attention span interfering with my driving skillz actually was what got me diagnosed with ADD last year hahaha.

Get a haircut? Do you have a beauty school nearby? Normally a haircut there is really cheap since all the hairstylist are in school. They always have a supervisor with the hairstylist to watch and make sure there are no mistakes. It should be nice! Plus, it gives you a chance to use charm on a nice girl. One of my guyfriends did that and it worked out well.

Happy Birthday!

I'm sorry about the basketball team thing. That sucks. High School sports can be a pain. If it helps, my golf coaches were a bit insensitive beeeeps lately, so I feel your pain. I'm glad my season is over and maybe you'll be happy that it is one less thing to stress about? If you want, you could always join a park district team or maybe a basketball club sport in college.

Ah Christmas... Once again, I feel your pain. Christmas got ruined for me a few years ago and it hasn't been the same. and I have a friend who is OBSESSED with Christmas. I truly mean OBSESSED. He starts counting down since the day after christmas, and literary knows the count 365 days a year- I've tested him. So I feel you there too.

Blaaah ew college stuff. I've been trying to pump out my college applications... not really... SATs sound ew. I have the ACTs and I just took my last one, which I didn't do well on so it was a waste on money. I think you are going to do well anyways! Try not to stress about it. Since you sound like a good judge of character (look at the listing from court paragraph) obliviously colleges are gonna eat you up.

Have you called the place to reschedule? You should be able to reschedule. I know senior pictures for my school are due in like February, so I think you should have time if it is the same.

Blah friends, they always will act like douche bags. I guess that's why you love them, since even if they act like douche bags, there are parts that you just love about them!

I'm sorry about your dog. That can be rough. The lab work is rough too. I was just diagnosed with ADD last year, I'm slightly anemic (or something like that), and I found out I might have another learning disability (Dyspraxia). I hope everything turns out fine! Maybe it'll explain something that's been holding you back.

Writer's block can be pure evil. What helps me with writers block is free writing. Just write ANYTHING that comes to mind. I mean ANYTHING. It could be the craziest, clique-ish, unorganized pile of BS you ever wrote, but once you start freewriting, your creative juices start flowing and you get your plot back.

I'm sorry about your ex-and that you keep on seeing your exes. That can be very emotionally difficult. I'm not sure what exactly to tell you-since it is all yours to decide what to do about it. Maybe make out a pros-cons list with what you can do? You don't always have to be the strong nice guy, since it seems to be shooting bullets at your non-bullet-proof chest. Remember your well-being is also important, and your friends & ex would understand that.

I know this is a hell lot to read... Sorry... I tend to ramble on and on and on too much. If you want to ever rant to me, let me know! It is better to get stuff off your chest than lock it inside. I'm always open ears. I might be able to help you on your college essays, since I'm also writing and chugging out mine. My friend's dad is also a volunteer paramedic/fireman (and I was suppose to get forms about it for my bro... oops forgot) so I can always get information for you.

I hope you feel better!

[annaft]

I think maybe, because your being so negetive.. its bringing more unhappiness to you.. maybe try to be positive about the little things you have try to think of 5 good things about you and your life