Control

[glistering]

For once, I'm glad for the lack of control. I feel pathetic enough as is. I'm not a strong enough person.

It's the same old cycle of mentalities with the family, but can they not see that there's actually a lot at stake?

Lovely culture and the filial piety expected. (Is it culture, or just my parents?)

But at the same time I understand. The empathy and still the rage is what tears me apart the most. The worry, the concern, the indignation, the fear. Why why why. Too many what if's and too much guilt and ahhhh ambiguity is such a fun game.

...and I need to get it all out of my system, but I can't.
I can't I can't I can't.
Do you know me? Maybe I want someone I know to know.
But I clearly mostly don't.

"Don't worry, life just works out for you."

No.

Too many times no.

Lol, and not being straightforward irks me. Lovely cycle.