Triggering: i fucking hate my birthday

[GoneBeyondRepair]

i fucking hate my fucktarded birthday. its like one of the worst frikin day of the damn year. and my life never ceases to make it any fucking easier.
for one, theres my fucking always highasallfuckinghell stepfather who an really go die in a hole for all i fucking care. all yesterday he kept yelling happy birthday to me. YESTERDAY wasnt my damn birthday. it was my friends birthday, and shes gone. then frikin today, which IS my fucking birthday.. the frikin second he got up he startded frikin bitching at me. do this, do that, do all this fucking shit that is never frikin expected of you cuz its fucking shit. and do it all while your best friend is here, right now, on your fucking birthday. oh but wait, its not your birthday, last night was, and dont you fucking dare say it wasnt cuz im always fucking right and im your fucking father and you have to fucking do what i say cuz my fucking retarded word is fucking law in this fucking hellhole of a house. i really couldnt care less if he just fucking burst into flame right before my frikin eyes. acctually, id fucking laugh at him and add gasoline. i fucking hate him.
and as if that wasnt enough. i mean, pretty much just fucking saying one of my best friends, who is GONE never fucking existed, and saying hes my fucking father isnt enough? really? like seriously, what the fuck more does this fucking world want from me? my life? go ahead and fucking take it. see if i fucking care. but nope, just made to suffer all this shit. and on my fucking birthday at that. but all that isnt even fucking enough. nope.
im such a fucking retard. i mean, even fucking thinking that my REAL father might acctully try and connect with me even just by saying happy birthday to his 2nd kid, his first daughter, his only BLOOD daughter is too much to fucking ask. i mean, hes back in fucking michigan, why the hell doesnt he get in contact, try and get to know his daughter whos turning fucking FIFTEEN today? im such a fucking idiot for even hopeing that he might fucking do such a thing.
and again, thats not even fucking all of it. my best friends little brothers are so fucking annoying. i have a huge fucking headache, i feel like shit, and the day isnt even fucking close to over yet.
im suprized i havent fucking cracked yet.

[GoneBeyondRepair]

and now my best friend apparently has to leave. she was supposed to stay till tomorrow, but nope. just fucking great. the only person who will acctually talk to me that is abel to even possibly make me happy when im this fucking upset has to leave because our fucking mothers are fucking assholes who dont want to fucking drive since its finally starting to fucking snow. fuck my life. just fuck it. i cant wait till its all fucking over.

[Nicole!]

First of all, happy birthday!

I'm sorry to hear that your stepdad has ruined your birthday. Have you tried talking to your mother about this? It sounds like he has too much pride to admit he is wrong, but you can't let him ruin your birthday. I would quickly do what he asks so that he stop nagging you, and then do something you enjoy. If you have any hobbies for example. Some stepdads pretend to be their stepchildren's real dads to try and fill the void that the divorce created. Have you tried calmly asking him to not call himself your father? I hope your day gets better soon

[BruceLeeDemarcus]

Happy birthday! I love you! Don't listen to Eric (yeah I had to use his name) I'm surprised he showed up for Christmas. He never shows up for family things anymore. You should tell him he's not your father. If he wanted to be he would treat you with the respect that you deserve. Sorry that your friend had to leave. I wish she could've stayed with you. I mean come on its your birthday. Just think of me and know that I'm here for you. I'll always be in your heart. I know that's not much, considering what Justin tells me and how I deny it, but don't let go. I'll still hold on. Love you so much! I wish I could be with you on your birthday.

[chickenonsteroids]

You swear a lot don't you?

Anyway, bitches be crazy so some people are inevitably crazy. I hope things get sorted with Eric.

Happy birthday, I hope you get a pogo stick... or something fun

[GoneBeyondRepair]

melody- thanks. and he was saying that while my mom was standing right there, and she started to say something, then he just shot her down and got pissed of then went downstairs to smoke more weed. and the things he was asking were dumb. like plant a tree, dig up the dead bush, mow the lawn(thats half dead since its the middle of winter and weve had hardly any snow in the SNOWBELT of michigan. bleh. awful year) and other stuff like that. and my real parents never got divorced because they were never married. my stepdad left for his wife and moved across the country before i was one, and then my stepdad walked into the picture, so hes the only father figure ive ever had. doesnt mean hes my father though, dispite how much both he and my mom say he is. hes not and ill never beleive that because hes a total asshole to me all the time. he ruins everything and doesnt listen to me at all. noone does around here. and it got a little better because it started snowing so much and freezing that my friend HAD to stay. i was happy about that. so shes still here.<3

Rach- lol, i love you too cuz. and yeah, i call him eric also, just no to his face cuz then id get grounded xD lol. and i was suprised too. he ususaly bails because of his 'injury' but really its just cuz hes always high. and did you realize how he NEVER shuts up and always repeats himself and was still yelling at me and telling me to do stupid impossible things? yeah? thats its on a 'im at my mother in laws house so ill try and behave' level. its soooo much worse here. and i think about you alot love you cousin

chick- i only swear alot when im really super pissed off like i was last night. and they never do get sorted out with him. hes an ass who doesnt listen at all. i hate him. and i did get some skittles, and the hoodie i picked out, so yeah.

[_sunsets64.]

Hey, happy belated birthday!
I'm sorry it sucked so much, and it seems like it always sucks on a daily basis, so I'm sorry about that too :/
It sounds like your stepdad's an ass, and your mom's just trying to make up for the fact that your real dad isn't there. If she tried to talk to him and he treated her so disrespectfully and just left to get high, maybe she's putting up with him for you? I know it sounds stupid and illogical and messed up, but maybe she's just trying to do what she thinks is the right thing. You should try talking to her more about how he treats you both and how it makes you feel like shit.

I hate birthdays too, if it makes you feel any better. I haven't gotten a birthday present in three years, including last year, which was my fucking 16th birthday. Everyone else is getting cars and driving permits and huge parties and tons of gifts and I don't even get a fucking card, PLUS my mom won't let me get my permit so I still can't drive. :P
Don't let it all get you down though--I've tried to just kind of accept it as any other day and not make a big deal about it, because then it won't be quite so disappointing when it's exactly the same and sucks just as much as every other day.

I hope things get better at home for you though! Hang in there

[BruceLeeDemarcus]

Did you realize at Christmas that my mom was hitting on Eric? And Eric was crushing on her! So if he was repeating himself, my mom was doing the same thing. I bet you they were bothing planning a date so they can go out and get drunk. Then they would end up screwing themselves. Just saying I think they like eachother, but They kind of make the perfect couple. That doesn't deal with our lives. They both need help.
Love ya!

[GoneBeyondRepair]

sunsets- thanks

Rach- are you serious? o-o thats creepy

[BruceLeeDemarcus]

Yeah I'm serious. You didn't notice them?

[GoneBeyondRepair]

no i didnt. i was trying to ignore almost everybody. i wish i could ignore my life

[BruceLeeDemarcus]

Aw yeah, I didn't really want to talk to my mom. I won't ignore you, I love ya! Don't forget it!