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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Rko Offline
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Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 10th 2011, 09:02 PM

Police have matched DNA taken from a 31-year-old man to semen found in a yogurt sample that was offered at an Albuquerque grocery store.
Albuquerque Police Department spokeswoman Trish Hoffman said Thursday an investigation is continuing but the man faces a potential charge for battery.
Hoffman says Food and Drug Administration authorities are also looking into the case and might pursue a federal felony charge for food tampering.
Police responded to the Sunflower Market in northwest Albuquerque on Jan. 26 after a woman called 911 and reported a store employee had given her what she was told was a yogurt sample. The woman told police she believed it was actually a bodily fluid.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41515225...ws-weird_news/


That is sick..


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 10th 2011, 09:06 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

HAHA

HAAA

Oh god.

Oh sweet lord, thank you for bestowing this news story upon us.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 10th 2011, 09:36 PM

How is that funny? It's actually really disgusting...


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 10th 2011, 10:22 PM

Semen. The new yogurt.



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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 10th 2011, 10:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTank77 View Post
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

HAHA

HAAA

Oh god.

Oh sweet lord, thank you for bestowing this news story upon us.
+1 LMFAO
   
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 01:01 AM

Thats really gross and disturbing, but it is kind of funny. I wonder how he got the idea to do that.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 01:37 AM

LOL... sick joke, but it is kinda funny.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 02:21 AM

Oh god...

New From Muscle Milk!

MUSCLE YOGURT!

Collected from REAL AMERICAN MUSCLE.

YEAH. FEEL THE BURN.


Often I lie wide awake, thinking of things I could make.
But I donít seem to have the parts to build them.
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end, for I am not prepared.
I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human.





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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerTank77 View Post
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

HAHA

HAAA

Oh god.

Oh sweet lord, thank you for bestowing this news story upon us.
I'm with this guy. LOLOLOLOL.
'Replace yogurt with semen...LIKE A BOSS.'
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 04:01 AM

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Originally Posted by Come As You Are. View Post

I'm with this guy. LOLOLOLOL.
'Replace yogurt with semen...LIKE A BOSS.'

Yum mouth full of Stds


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 06:45 AM

Thats disgusting. Why on earth did he think of even doing that?


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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 07:00 AM

How did she know it was semen and not yogurt...


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 07:12 AM

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Originally Posted by Mťxico View Post
How did she know it was semen and not yogurt...
The difference is fairly obvious.
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 07:20 AM

I'm going to be honest and say that the first thing that came to mind when I read this is that his girlfriend refuses to swallow, so he wanted to make someone else swallow.
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  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 07:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strawberries View Post
I'm going to be honest and say that the first thing that came to mind when I read this is that his girlfriend refuses to swallow, so he wanted to make someone else swallow.
I love you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 08:31 AM

LOL.

But seriously who calls 911 because something in your yogurt looks like Semen? What are the chances that she would actually be right lol.


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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 01:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strawberries View Post
I'm going to be honest and say that the first thing that came to mind when I read this is that his girlfriend refuses to swallow, so he wanted to make someone else swallow.


So much win.



   
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 03:49 PM

coming to a store near you "handmade yogurt full of protein" LOL
   
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 11th 2011, 06:20 PM

That's one way to know your "yogurt" is fresh, it was just made. Hahahaha.

I think could actually be a comedy or a raunchy porn video, either one. Assuming it's a comedy, I think it'd go like this....

[Woman]: Hi officer, umm, I think someone inserted their sperm into my yogurt.
[Officer]: Uh... come again? Figuratively that is... .
[Woman]: Well I went to the store, bought some yogurt and I went to eat it.
[Officer]: Do you swallow?
[Woman]: Wha-
[Office]: Sorry, I meant did you swallow the sperm yet.
[Woman]: Well no I was poking at it with my spoon but I know how sperm looks.
[Officer]: I bet... OK, tell you what, bring your sperm down here, we'll get our lab guys to examine your sperm then I'll try to figure out how your sperm got to where it was.
[Woman]: But it's not my actual sperm, that's the thing.
[Officer]: WTF? You stole some poor fellow's sperm then mixed it with yogurt! That's sick!
[Woman]: No no, I bought it like that.
[Officer]: Oh that's fine, I do that all the time.
[Woman]: You do!?!
[Officer]: Oh jeez look at the time, well let me just pack my junk back into the trunk and I'll be off.
...
[Guy]: Hi officer, do you want me to churn out any yogurt for you? I make it myself, it's fresh, guarunteed. It's bursting at the seams when I seal it so when people open it, they really experience it all over the place. Sure you don't want any?
[Police]: Uh... no that's quite alright. Do you do this because your girlfriend doesn't want to swallow so you get others to swallow?
[Guy]: Yeah, that about hits it on the head, figuratively, not my head.


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  (#20 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 12th 2011, 02:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOW!USaidSomethingSmart! View Post
That's one way to know your "yogurt" is fresh, it was just made. Hahahaha.

I think could actually be a comedy or a raunchy porn video, either one. Assuming it's a comedy, I think it'd go like this....

[Woman]: Hi officer, umm, I think someone inserted their sperm into my yogurt.
[Officer]: Uh... come again? Figuratively that is... .
[Woman]: Well I went to the store, bought some yogurt and I went to eat it.
[Officer]: Do you swallow?
[Woman]: Wha-
[Office]: Sorry, I meant did you swallow the sperm yet.
[Woman]: Well no I was poking at it with my spoon but I know how sperm looks.
[Officer]: I bet... OK, tell you what, bring your sperm down here, we'll get our lab guys to examine your sperm then I'll try to figure out how your sperm got to where it was.
[Woman]: But it's not my actual sperm, that's the thing.
[Officer]: WTF? You stole some poor fellow's sperm then mixed it with yogurt! That's sick!
[Woman]: No no, I bought it like that.
[Officer]: Oh that's fine, I do that all the time.
[Woman]: You do!?!
[Officer]: Oh jeez look at the time, well let me just pack my junk back into the trunk and I'll be off.
...
[Guy]: Hi officer, do you want me to churn out any yogurt for you? I make it myself, it's fresh, guarunteed. It's bursting at the seams when I seal it so when people open it, they really experience it all over the place. Sure you don't want any?
[Police]: Uh... no that's quite alright. Do you do this because your girlfriend doesn't want to swallow so you get others to swallow?
[Guy]: Yeah, that about hits it on the head, figuratively, not my head.
HAHAAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. YES.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 12th 2011, 07:52 AM

Aw wow Im so put off yoghurt now...halfway through reading that mum was like "I fancy yoghurt" I tried to convince her to get something else, but she got a huge bowl of it and I can't look at her!


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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 12th 2011, 07:56 PM

That is beyond nasty. However, this is an amusing story. Thank you for brightening my day.


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  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 13th 2011, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstar View Post
That is beyond nasty. However, this is an amusing story. Thank you for brightening my day.

Anytime


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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 14th 2011, 05:22 AM

I hate to make assumptions, but it seems she recognized the taste pretty quickly.


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  (#25 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Semen in yogurt linked to store worker - February 14th 2011, 05:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyperion View Post
I hate to make assumptions, but it seems she recognized the taste pretty quickly.
That's what I was thinking. Lol.


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