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Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 04:52 PM

I'm not sure if this is in the right spot, so if it's not, please feel free to move it!

Recently, I've attended the weddings of two friends, and a family member on my boyfriend's side of the family. I LOVE weddings, and I love to attend the ceremonies while attending the reception afterward. However, my boyfriend and I got into a discussion about attending the reception but not the ceremony.

His response was that he thinks it's okay to do this. I don't see how. My response is: Why wouldn't you attend the ceremony? Obviously, it's people you know, whether it be a friend or family member. I personally think it's rude to go to the reception without having gone to the ceremony. Makes it look like you're there for the free food and booze. It's not fair, and doesn't look good on your part.

Does anyone else have the same views as me, or as my boyfriend? I'm really curious to see what you guys have to say.











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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 04:55 PM

I agree with you, i think you should attend both parts of the wedding.


   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 04:58 PM

I know some people who just go to the wedding ceremony and not the reception because they don't like the party scene. THAT I think is fine. But, I personally think it's rude to not go to the ceremony but just the reception.
   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 05:26 PM

My sister's wedding ceremony was a small affair in a registry office with only immediate family. Her reception was a massive party with hundreds of people in attendance. So it really depends on how big a deal you want to make of the actual event of the marriage. Or, perhaps, what you can afford.




   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 05:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Snufkin View Post
My sister's wedding ceremony was a small affair in a registry office with only immediate family. Her reception was a massive party with hundreds of people in attendance. So it really depends on how big a deal you want to make of the actual event of the marriage. Or, perhaps, what you can afford.
But i think if you've been invited to the ceremony and the reception you should go to both but if you've not that's different.


   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 05:46 PM

I suppose that is different. Unless there was some important work commitments during the day or something, I don't see why anyone would want to only attend the reception. It's a whole-day event kinda thing.




   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 06:32 PM

If you're invited to both, then unless you've got a very good reason not to go to the first part (by which I mean things like being physically unable to get there, not just disliking church services and so on) I would say it's poor form to only go to one part. As far as couples only inviting people to the reception is concerned, that could be for any number of reasons so I prefer not to comment. If it's down to your own choice though I think you should go to both if you can, if only to avoid the going-for-a-free-party image that going to the reception on its own can create.


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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 14th 2011, 07:30 PM

I can see you're views. I understand that people want a small wedding ceremony, but want a big reception. The ceremony could consist of only close friends and immediate family, and the reception could include everyone. But, if it's a huge affair, I think you should attend both unless there is something stopping you. Some religious reasons I can understand. In some, they aren't allowed to attend weddings that take place in a church (I seen this while watching Four Weddings). But, if you have a stupid reason like "I hate church", then that's rude.











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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 15th 2011, 06:16 AM

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Some religious reasons I can understand. In some, they aren't allowed to attend weddings that take place in a church (I seen this while watching Four Weddings). But, if you have a stupid reason like "I hate church", then that's rude.
This gets my goat a bit; why the double standard? If it's okay for a religious person to do or not do something then it should be okay for a non-religoius person to do or not do the same things. I really do just hate church; the last service I attended made me physically nauseous. Fortunately for me none of the people I'm close to have any interest in religion so it's not a position I'm likely to ever be in, but as much as I would love to attend a friend's wedding I really would have to think twice if it meant sitting through a very long very religious service. How is that more selfish than a religious person not sitting through the service because of a religious conflict?


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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 15th 2011, 11:57 PM

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This gets my goat a bit; why the double standard? If it's okay for a religious person to do or not do something then it should be okay for a non-religoius person to do or not do the same things. I really do just hate church; the last service I attended made me physically nauseous. Fortunately for me none of the people I'm close to have any interest in religion so it's not a position I'm likely to ever be in, but as much as I would love to attend a friend's wedding I really would have to think twice if it meant sitting through a very long very religious service. How is that more selfish than a religious person not sitting through the service because of a religious conflict?
Touche.

I know some people really, really hate going to church/sitting in a church, etc. However, these are your friends. I would suck it up, and sit through the ceremony to watch him/her get married if it was religious.

The same goes for outdoor weddings though. Just because it's an outdoor ceremony doesn't mean it's not going to be a religious wedding. I attended a wedding for two close friends in August. She was Jewish, he was Catholic. They decided on an outdoor ceremony with both a Rabbi and a Priest, and the ceremony was very religious. So, it can't be limited to just church weddings.











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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 16th 2011, 07:50 AM

I agree with you that people should attend the ceremony if they want to attend the reception. It seems a bit rude to only attend the reception.
   
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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 17th 2011, 12:45 AM

I think if the people getting married took the time and intiative to invite you to both parts, then you should go, obviously if they invited you, they want you there. If it was my wedding and i invited certain people and they only showed up to one part ( and they had no legit reason to only show up to one), i'd not only be insulted but also hurt. Even if i dont believe in their religous beliefs, if they are my friends and people i care about it shouldnt matter, you should be able to be there for your friends, for one special day for them.

Now of course they're are reasons to only go to one,like only being invited to one part, or my friend went to a wedding with her boyfriend of people she'd never met in her life, so she only went to the reception because she didnt feel it was her place to intrude on the cermony,if they invited you to both, you should go.


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Re: Weddings [Debate-ish] - October 18th 2011, 03:21 AM

I think it's really bad taste not attending the ceremony and going to the reception after.


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