Triggering (Abuse): Does pop culture encourage abusive relationships?

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I read this article in the newspaper this morning. My first thought was to agree with the author's initial thinking (Rhianna left at the end of the video), but Allison Basinger had a great point about 99% of the music video was about sex, drugs, & ownership. Only a few seconds reflected on Rhianna leaving. The rest basically gave ideas to teens about what passions looks like. Also, I thought the mention of Twilight was pretty surprising. I had never thought of it that way.

Give the article a look & let me know what you think.

http://www.nola.com/newsflash/index....bdef9d2bbb9eda

[Intoxication]

I think there's more pro than con. Just my opinion. Sure, it's not encouraging it everywhere - but there definitely are more music videos and TV shows encouraging it than not.

[thebigmole]

Well I've been saying that about Twilight since the beginning. Every time I go off about Twilight my dad tells me to calm down it's not that big of a deal, it's not hurting anyone. But it really is. The fact that there are millions of young girls out there who crave such an UNHEALTHY and dangerous relationship is scary.

[Apple Orchard Ghost]

I'm actually writing a paper on this... I agree, I think there are a ton of things that encourage unhealthy relationships, and it seems that girls, especially, can't recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and an abusive one, just because of all these media influences.

[ChangingTides]

Originally Posted by thebigmole

Well I've been saying that about Twilight since the beginning. Every time I go off about Twilight my dad tells me to calm down it's not that big of a deal, it's not hurting anyone. But it really is. The fact that there are millions of young girls out there who crave such an UNHEALTHY and dangerous relationship is scary.

I agree. It's like every girl at my school is suddenly obsessed with getting a boyfriend, It's pathetic and sad. People see this in music videos, commercials, tv, ect and they think this is what's "cool".
Ever notice how many female fans Chris Brown has? Or fans at all. -_-

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Twilight especially hit me. I have been seeing a lot of obsessive relationships lately, not so much love. They pointed that out about Twilight & it reminded me too much about people I know. It's ridiculous.

[Squidgy]

Speaking of twilight

Some girls are making this their goal in life.

[Invert]

I agree with Twilight, and I agree there's a fair amount of this, not always abusive, but definitely unhealthy love promoted in the media, etc.

But I don't agree with the comments about the Rihanna video, because I think the Rihanna video is acknowledgingly depicting a dystopic relationship, without the intent of idealising it. And although it is a dystopic relationship, unhealthy, and reckless, I do want to point out, it does not seem as though he is abusive in that video. It looks like two lost young people went off the rails, did too many drugs, and they crashed. fights started, and shortly the relationship ended. I'll accept its still showing an unhealthy relationship (though 'we found love in a hopeless place'... thats kinda the point... and I've always taken hopless to mean emotionally lost/hurting)... I just had to disagree with the abuse bit. I also think her leaving sends out more of a message than most other music videos.

Though, except in extreme cases, music videos have always been deemed to be family friendly, without censorship or 'watershed' (this is a UK thing, look it up if you don't get it). I think the target audiences of music videos need to be evaluated. Most videos clearly are filled with adult content, and are probably intended for adult consumption, but huge amounts of teens lap them up. We allow films to have adult content, and then blame parents if teens or kids see them, why are music videos by default considered different?

Its also I think important to think about how much influence these things actually have on teens, and how passive they are in watching them. I often think people, including some teenagers themselves, don't give young people enough credit. Sure we have hoards of twihards, and they irritate me as much as everyone else, but they aren't just teenagers. There seem to be plenty of middle aged women who are really into Twilight, and think it's 'so romantic'... and its not like teens have only recently been desperate for relationships from their early teens. And Twilight is only so popular and so big, because this type of love already appealled to a lot of people (well, its certainly not the book quality).... and I think more is going on here than simply modern media.

I sometimes joke about how its broken Disney love the fairy tale Disney love everyone grows up with, quickly becomes clearly a lie, and it leads to this obsession with a broken, but still eternal love, because there clearly are not happily ever afters, so if you are miserable, love can be eternal and romantic I don't actually believe it, but I think it makes sense.

[BDF]

Define "abusive" relationship. I've seen the twilight films, and certainly never was under the impression that there is any abuse in them. I don't really have the time to read the article now.

[thebigmole]

Originally Posted by BDF

Define "abusive" relationship. I've seen the twilight films, and certainly never was under the impression that there is any abuse in them. I don't really have the time to read the article now.

Oh the Twilight relationship isn't abusive, well maybe emotional abusive. It's just obsessive and completely and totally unhealthy. It's not a relationship that in the real world would end well. In fact it would probably end in murder suicide if one tried to leave the other. Or the complete self destruction of both parties.

[Snufkin]

I've always found it funny, in a hopeless way, that people still like Chris Brown. The guy's a woman beater, and he's scum. Yet people love him because OMG HE'S SO HOT.

The same kind of goes for Brad Pitt. I don't know about you, but in my circle of friends if someone cheats on their partner, it's seen as a very disrespectful thing to do and that person isn't seen in such a positive light anymore. But no one really seemed to mind what he did to Jennifer, since he's also hot and Angelina Jolie is hot too so they're a hot couple and hotness is all that matters.

[Revolution]

I actually thought the Rihanna video was a statement against those kind of relationships. I thought her video was showing how dangerous love can be, and that we can fall in love with the dependence, and that as painful as it may to get out, it's best for ourselves? Maybe I overestimate the intelligence of popstars. Yeah, probably.

[Aletheia*]

The thing with Twilight is is that Edward is a vampire, and vampires are said to have powers to "control" woman. I wouldn't say "control" in the aspect that you're all assuming right now, but every part of them is what a woman wants. This is how they get their "prey" so to speak. Since Edward ultimately doesn't feed off humans, I don't see why Twilight is such a big deal to some but I can see how it portrays an unhealthy, obsessive relationship. That doesn't mean it's abuse and shouldn't be taken as such.

It's true that EVERY video or song Rihanna has made has gotten some ill light, but she's expressing herself the way she feels comfortable doing: Through her music. We all have ways of expressing our feelings, or dealing with a hard thing such as an abusive relationship. Why give her crap about it? It's not fair since we all express ourselves in different ways. Yes, it shows how troubling an abusive relationship is, but there are more things out there that show that than just some music video made by a pop artist.

[BDF]

I generally think it's the parents' job to teach their kids not to take movies literally, and to teach their kids to think for themselves and make up their own mind about things, with some guidance (rather than brainwashing kids into a certain religion for example). IMO that's the best way to go. Creates more diversity, more open minded approach to life, less prejudice, less bullying, healthier culture. People prefer blaming the media. OK, some of the things I see on TV definitely don't help our culture, but blaming Twilight is a bit daft no?

On the other hand, Rihanna walking round in thongs and stuff should in theory be age restricted I think. Some argue such a move would destroy the music industry, personally I think it would create the golden age of music. It would revert music back to what it used to be. It used to be mostly about music. Now it's mostly about celebrity status, money, publicity, sex appeal etc. Making it age restricted, it doesn't in any way constrain their artistic output. It only constrains their audience. They can still do what they want, but it won't be motivated by money through targeting young audiences with raunchy vids.

P.S. I don't dislike Rihanna's music. I sort of like it even. But the vids send the wrong message.