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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Tapanga Paige Offline
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diving in - July 23rd 2012, 03:16 AM

I've never been an overly religious person, if you've read my previous posts you would know that my family is very anti religion so to speak. I personally have always had and open mind and dabbled in Christianity checking it out a few times but never really found it in me to give it a full chance. Recently things have been changing in my life for the drastic and dramatic. I've lost a friend who turned out not to be as good of a friend as i thought. I also lost the only boy I let close enough to break my heart. I know they sound small and childish, they sound trivial and stupid, but I've never felt this broken. I've turned to drinking and dabbled in drugs, I cut, and yet nothing will help fill this hole inside. Is it wrong to turn to religion when it feels like my life is falling apart instead of out of when things are good?


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Re: diving in - July 23rd 2012, 03:20 AM

It's not wrong, in fact I think most people who "find religion" do so when they feel like their lives are falling apart. It's up to you what you believe or don't belive, but there's nothing wrong with when or why you're doing it.


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Re: diving in - July 23rd 2012, 03:58 AM

Well, what do you expect religion to do for you?

If it's the community you want, there are non-religious support groups.

If it's God you want, I believe I have the answer memorized for you, no church needed. God works in mysterious ways, God has a plan for your life. Feel better?

I would be upset at any group that dove in on people in emotional turmoil and grabbing at them while they were down. Religion likes to make you feel good so that you can't feel good without it (then it likes to give the credit of making you feel good to invisible Santa).

What I'm saying is, don't be religious because you feel bad. Get help somewhere else. Find religion when you aren't in need of an imaginary friend.
   
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Re: diving in - July 23rd 2012, 03:34 PM

I read this in a book I was required to read for class in college (I am a Christian Ministry major) People turn to Christianity, God, Jesus ECT because of a felt need, but they stay with it because they come to believe it is true. All of that to say it is NOT wrong and MANY people do it.




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Re: diving in - July 23rd 2012, 06:09 PM

Hey there,

No it is not wrong in the least! There are a number of people who turn to God when their life has taken a turn for the worse and gone downhill. I was introduced to God at the age of about five and I struggled with my faith on and off for years but I found that when my life was falling apart my faith grew stronger. I found what I was looking for in God and he was and has been there for me in my darkest days.

I'll admit that turning to him has not made my life any 'easier' so to speak; I still have my struggles and all of that but there is also a sense of peace. So hopefully by turning to religion you will find what you need.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.


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Re: diving in - July 23rd 2012, 07:52 PM

It's not childish to have a broken heart at all. You are allowed to feel sad and mourn. Even Jesus did!

And it's actually very common for people to turn to God when they have nothing else and are going through hard times. There's nothing wrong with that. However, there are a few things you need to know if you are serious about wanting God...

You need to know why you want Him. I mean, what do you expect Him to do for you? I'm asking because a lot of people say they want God during hard times just to get help from Him- then ignore Him as soon as things are going well. Are you coming to God just so your life won't be bad any more, or because you are serious about getting right with Him and having eternal life? Because being a Christian doesn't always make your problems go away. You will still have hard times, but God will be with you through them all. The bible says that once we receive Him, He will never leave us or abandon us. Never!

What I'm saying is- God doesn't always make our lives easy. He promised to save our souls from sin so we can go to Heaven, give us eternal hope, and be with us and help us through everything. He didn't promise to make things easy. Granted, He does sometimes. But receiving God means an eternal commitment, not just "I don't have anything else right now, so I'll hang out with God until a better option comes along". I'm not saying you would ever do that. I'm just saying this because I've seen it happen too many times.

If you are serious about starting a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, feel free to message me or visit www.themostimportantthing.webs.com and click on "Why Do I Need Jesus?". That link will give you everything you need to know to start a relationship with God.

Praying for you.
   
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Re: diving in - July 24th 2012, 04:35 AM

Thanks! These are all very helpful.
Megan: Thank you! I have found, especially in the past year, that though lots of people claim to be "christians" very few of them walk the talk and that has been a major factor in my hesitation. I have always been a very commitment oriented person and seeing the hypocrosy of most "christians" has made me afraid of failing to keep such a big commitment. I don't want to become one of the people who are living for God on sunday and worried about themselves the rest of the week.


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Re: diving in - July 24th 2012, 05:38 AM

It's wrong to turn to religion when you're looking for something else but go to it to make yourself feel better in the short-term only. I don't know what you're looking for so I'm not going to say what you must choose, however, ask yourself whether you want just the comfort and acceptance from others, or do you want such comfort and acceptance based on alternate education. If you want the latter, then religion is more fitting because there's no sense in believing in something without reading holy texts, literature and critical reviews to understand what you're getting yourself into. I've found that many Christians (I'm highlighting Christians because it's a religion I know a fair amount about and is common) don't seem to know as much as they profess. They get comfort from ignorance, sometimes to the point where they haven't really cracked open a Bible. You don't need to become a devout believer but you should know a bit about the religion, otherwise getting comfort from others can be more difficult.


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Re: diving in - July 24th 2012, 03:35 PM

What is NOT right and MANY Christians are guilty of them is to KEEP coming to God ONLY when things get tough. It is OK to BEGIN that way, but too many people have an "on and off" relationship with God and only come to Him when they realized they have failed AFTER accepting Him.




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Re: diving in - July 24th 2012, 09:17 PM

Thanks, I honestly want the full package...I want to start living for something bigger a cause outside of piddley everyday arguments and pleasing myself.


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Re: diving in - July 24th 2012, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tapanga Paige View Post
Thanks! These are all very helpful.
Megan: Thank you! I have found, especially in the past year, that though lots of people claim to be "christians" very few of them walk the talk and that has been a major factor in my hesitation. I have always been a very commitment oriented person and seeing the hypocrosy of most "christians" has made me afraid of failing to keep such a big commitment. I don't want to become one of the people who are living for God on sunday and worried about themselves the rest of the week.
Yes, many people who call themselves Christians (some who actually are and some who really aren't) act hyprocritical and not like Christ. Everyone messes up. Just remember when a Christian fails you or acts badly, is the Christian who is doing it, NOT Christ. Don't let other people's so called reflections of God turn you away from Him. It is them doing it, not God.
   
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Re: diving in - July 25th 2012, 12:17 AM

I think you want to believe there is a God, because if there is this Christian God then perhaps he will save you from whatever demons you carry. This is not the case. When Christians say "Jesus/God intervened and saved me from a life of drugs/w/e" what they actually mean is "It gave me something to believe in that motivated me to change my life to become what that God would want me to be". What I'm getting at is that even though this newfound belief may spur you on to changing your life for the better, and I hope it does and I wish you the best of luck in it, the fact that you want to believe that God is real doesn't mean that he is. What's changed since you didn't believe? From the sound of it, your life got worse. Has the evidence changed? It's quite clear to me that you're believing because you want to believe he's real, not because you actually feel he is. God isn't going to intervene and turn your life around for you; ultimately that's up to you.
   
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Re: diving in - July 25th 2012, 01:52 AM

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I think you want to believe there is a God, because if there is this Christian God then perhaps he will save you from whatever demons you carry. This is not the case. When Christians say "Jesus/God intervened and saved me from a life of drugs/w/e" what they actually mean is "It gave me something to believe in that motivated me to change my life to become what that God would want me to be". What I'm getting at is that even though this newfound belief may spur you on to changing your life for the better, and I hope it does and I wish you the best of luck in it, the fact that you want to believe that God is real doesn't mean that he is. What's changed since you didn't believe? From the sound of it, your life got worse. Has the evidence changed? It's quite clear to me that you're believing because you want to believe he's real, not because you actually feel he is. God isn't going to intervene and turn your life around for you; ultimately that's up to you.
I agree. Changing my life for the better is ultimatly up to me. It is my choice to look to God not only because yet perhaps it is encouraging and helpful in times of trial, but also because I have always firmly believed in many aspects of the Christian way...like being cheritable and treating others as you would have them treat you. It is ultimatly up to me to change my life, it is also up to me to seek refuge and guidence in a God that impacts soo many lives on a daily basis. I choose to change my life by giving up my "all about me" wordly outlook and turning to something bigger..something that is for all I know could be the end all be all...and if not then at least i live my life knowing that I'm doing whats right for others (reaching out, volunteering, treating others the way they deserve to be treated) So maybe it is hard times in my world that bring me to the thought that maybe there's a reason everything seems to be falling apart. It is ultimatly up to me to change my life.


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Re: diving in - July 25th 2012, 07:48 AM

It's never wrong to turn to God in time of need, He loves you more than you could ever imagine and he is waiting to help you, you just have to ask. If you want change permanently then maybe you should really check things out in other churches if you want to check out my profile on one of my church's websites http://mormon.org/me/2W72/Melissa and maybe check out some other people and the videos, the videos are great
   
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Re: diving in - July 25th 2012, 01:35 PM

To an extent, yes, you are the one who has to be willing to change and have to choose to obey God. But, God is the one who will give you the strength to actually go through with that when you ask. 2 years ago (I had just become a Christian), I was starving myself and getting deeper into destructive eating habbits. God got me out of it not long after I became a Christian. It was without a doubt because of the strength that God gave me. I couldn't have done it on my own and it wasn't because of just "being motivated because I believed in something", it was actually Him who did it. How do I know? Because I had previously believed in/hoped in/had several other "inspiring" things to look to, and none of them healed me. I literally went to sleep one night crying because I felt so dirty when I ate, and woke up the next morning having FORGOTTEN that I had eating problems (literally, it didn't even occur to me not to eat), ate 3 full meals, and then that night realized what had happened. I haven't had a problem since. That's not something I could have chosen if I tried.

Point being, yes the choice is up to you- but God will help you through it once you make that choice.
   
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Re: diving in - July 26th 2012, 01:09 AM

Hey Rikki,

(Note to OP & Readers: I am an atheist, and I am offering alternatives to converting. In no way am I against her going to Christianity, but I'm offering a different way of thinking about it and her struggles without the necessity of going to religion. Peace to all. )

I'm sorry you've been going through such a hard time. It can be easy to think that turning to Christianity will help your entire life, from the people you've lost, the heartbreak, ext. But, in reality, it won't. Sure, the support system may help, and maybe having that "hope for an afterlife" idea, but this is not the only way that you can become happy. In the last year, I have quit cutting, quit purging, and generally stopped using all drugs as a way of coping with my depression, and I did this without religion. I think, more than anything, you are looking for a support system. You are looking for hope. You are looking for love. Religion is not a "wrong" place to look for this, but shouldn't be the sole reason you are looking into Christianity.

Humanity is a beautiful thing, and no matter where you go, you'll find people that care about you. Will you find this at a church? Of course. But you can also find support at a place like TeenHelp, a counselor, a friend. You do not NEED to convert to help yourself. I've found "salvation," so to speak, in music. Nature. Art. I consider myself a spiritual person, somebody who becomes more spiritual every day, but I believe in no deities, gods, and am not religious. I believe in the Earth. I believe in the love and compassion of others. And I believe, no matter what, you're not alone. You do not have to believe in Jesus to have hope, love, and compassion.

What I'm trying to say is that you do not have to try to make yourself go to church in order to change for the better. That strength is inside of you. If you ever need anything, let me know. I'm here for you, along with everybody who has replied, regardless of our opinion on Christianity. That's what friends are for.


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Re: diving in - July 26th 2012, 03:08 AM

Traci: Thank you so much! I completely agree that becoming a better person doesn't mean you need to find religion. Right now religion isn't a choice I've fully made, I'm still feeling it out so to speak, however its not the idea of "salvation", nor the hope in an afterlife that compell me tward christianity. As you said humanity is a beautiful place, full of love and hate, happiness and sorrow and I believe that this life is something you have to drink in and experience. I'm drawn to christianity because of its general premis of helping where help is needed and being the person everyone needs in their life...."living as christ" I guess is how they put it. And maybe I can be that without turning to God, but maybe I've been brought to this crossroads in my life for a reason. I agree with you on multiple levels of your argument, we are never alone in this. Thank you soo much for offering to be with me on this...as confusing at it can be at times!


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Re: diving in - July 26th 2012, 09:04 AM

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Traci: Thank you so much! I completely agree that becoming a better person doesn't mean you need to find religion. Right now religion isn't a choice I've fully made, I'm still feeling it out so to speak, however its not the idea of "salvation", nor the hope in an afterlife that compell me tward christianity. As you said humanity is a beautiful place, full of love and hate, happiness and sorrow and I believe that this life is something you have to drink in and experience. I'm drawn to christianity because of its general premis of helping where help is needed and being the person everyone needs in their life...."living as christ" I guess is how they put it. And maybe I can be that without turning to God, but maybe I've been brought to this crossroads in my life for a reason. I agree with you on multiple levels of your argument, we are never alone in this. Thank you soo much for offering to be with me on this...as confusing at it can be at times!
No problem! Do lots of research when it comes to choosing a religion. Religion is about your entire belief system in life, so keep an open mind.

One idea I would suggest to you is consider going to a Unitarian Universalist church. These churches offer services of worship for all sorts of religions or lack of religions, and are overall very positive in their acceptance of all. It's a really cool idea, and I've been to this church in my home town and it's very welcoming and accepting. For more information, check it out here: http://www.uua.org/index.shtml


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& the sun said “it hurts to become."
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Re: diving in - July 26th 2012, 12:42 PM

Christianity isn't the only way to be happy, but it is the only way to Heaven- and that eternal happiness is better than temporary happiness on Earth. Don't get me wrong, God does make me happy and does amazing things for me often, but there is also still plenty of heartache. It's just more hopeful heartache, because you know there is hope for the future, that God is with you through it helping you, and that you'll get to leave it behind and go to Heaven some day.

Aside from being saved from hell, one of the most amazing parts of being a Christian for me is knowing that I always have someone to talk to. I can wake up in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep and God is still there to listen to me. No matter how many other people fail me, God is still there. He never changes and He will never leave.
   
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