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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Question Telling my parents I'm an Athiest - April 30th 2013, 01:45 AM

Recently, I became an Atheist. Unfortunately, my parents are christians. They act like they support people making their own decisions, but somehow I don't think that they want it to apply to me. Sometimes they are hippocrites. For example, they tell me I need to always stand up for my sister, but when they are yelling at her but don't know tge whole story, and I try to tell them, I get screamed at. But my point is, I think they will either say I'm not old enough to make my own decisions, deny that I know what I'm talking about, start screaming at me, get really mad, or punish me in some way. There is so much that can go wrong. So, I need a way to start a conversation that they will listen to and accept. Thank you for your time. The reason I need to do this is because they are going to make me join the church, which I would have to refuse, which would cause a confrontation.
   
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Re: Telling my parents I'm an Athiest - April 30th 2013, 03:42 AM

First and foremost, you need to understand the perspective of your parents. Your parents were probably really excited about having another kid, and I think any parent would prefer to have a kid who shares their ideals. Unless your sister told them that she's Atheist, it might be a new experience for them to have their own child tell them that they don't want to go to church. I can't honestly tell you what's going to happen, but I want you to be open-minded. Will there be consequences? Possibly. But I don't think it'd be because they don't want you to believe what you want to believe. Sometimes parents seem to be kind of clueless on how to react in new situations. When you talk to them, you need to keep this in mind because the important thing you need for them to understand is that you know that it may disappoint them hearing it. You don't need to go off about why you don't believe in Christianity because that's just an unnecessary argument waiting to happen. You have to be respectful because you also have to consider the fact that you're 14. You're not entirely independent yet. If they go off to church, where are you gonna go? Stay home? Do chores? Do homework? Be at a friend's house? You gotta show them that you're responsible enough to stay at home or do whatever while they go to church; otherwise, they'll drag you along whether you like it or not. Also, you should mention to them that if you go to church when you're not a believer, you would find that disrespectful to Christianity because you probably wouldn't pay attention and play game boys or whatever like I did. I also wouldn't mention that you're an Atheist because Atheism is kind of a negative word in the Christian language; instead, I'd say "I don't know" and mention the fact that Christianity doesn't really appeal to you at the moment. It may later down the road, but not right now and as such...you would rather not attend a Christian church.

An example of what I would say to my parents if I were an Atheist:

"Mom...Dad...I need to tell you both something and I need you to both sit down. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I think it would be in my best interest if I don't go to church. The reason being is because I'm still learning a lot about religion and different ideas, and Christianity is not something that I'm interested in learning right now. I don't know what I believe, but I would find it disrespectful to visit a Christian church when I don't necessarily believe in it. If you would allow me, I'd appreciate it if you allow me to stay home and maybe do other things like do homework, chores, etc while you attend church. I'm sorry if I disappointed you and I appreciate all the things you've done for me, but I don't think I'm ready to visit a Christian church."

Point being...show intelligence, man up, be respectful, be open-minded, stay strong, and let them know that it is ultimately their decision on what to do. If you say "I'm not going to church because I don't believe in God," then things are gonna go really wrong. Your parents, from my knowledge, are legally allowed to drag your ass to church whether you believe it or not. So I'd watch out...
   
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