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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Unhappy Please help Questioning my religon - March 15th 2018, 11:20 PM

Soo I think I want to be atheist I have had a lot of bad things that have been done to me or happened to me and I mean a lot.
And I'm sure you're wondering so what well everyone says that God will help you if your faith is strong enough. Well, I used to pray every night for my family then my dad died from murder and I have been going to church but nothing has been getting better. and I don't know how to tell my mom plz help asap.
   
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Re: Please help Questioning my religon - March 17th 2018, 08:35 PM

Hey there.

Religion is a hard subject to cover - mainly because at the end of the day, we all have different beliefs. I've been in many spots in my life where I felt abandoned, where I looked to God (or a greater being) for answers, and all I received in return was more bad luck, more loss, more hurt. Life is sometimes not fun, and it sure knows how to bring you down and make you feel lost and alone. I remember months of swearing at God, being hateful towards him and why I've been placed in these bad positions, etc. But at the end of the day, you need to remember that if there is or is not a God - it really doesn't currently matter. God gives free will, and as talked about in a lot of New Testament scripture, God will not intervene in the events that unfold throughout your life. INSTEAD, God will see your pain, he will hear your prayers, he will watch what you do and how you overcome - and in the end, when you meet him, he will place judgement upon your overall life.

The argument for a religious figure or religion can be made from 1,000,000 different angles. Personally, I choose to believe in God; but I also believe that God does not intervene, he waits. He's patient.

If you make the decision to not believe, that's all that matters. Your family may be upset about it - but really that does not matter. You are an individual and you have the choice to decide what YOU believe, not side with what they believe. Also, you don't have to tell your mom or explain anything to her. I always find that being internal about religion (or lack of it) and reflecting on what you do/don't believe solely to yourself, is the best solution.


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Re: Please help Questioning my religon - March 19th 2018, 08:38 PM

Hey there,

Religion is a difficult topic and only you can decide what you want to believe. In order to answer this I have to kind of talk a bit about my own struggles. I hope that is okay and I hope it doesn't bore you.

So, I had a lot of really bad stuff happen to me. I grew up going to church. My family started going to church when I was 5 (around the time the tragic stuff started happening) and we continued till I was 9 or 10. However, that particular church basically kicked us out because they didn't like certain things that happened and I realized then that there was hypocrisy in religion. However, because I had been going to church for so long I did believe in God and that belief used to help.

As I got older my mental health got exacerbated and I started really struggling with my religion. I couldn't understand how a loving God would allow all the things I went through. I used to be so angry with God and it was impacting my life. I did attempt church a few times but there were things I didn't like or agree with and I still felt immense anger at God for allowing the bad things.

Religion was no longer helping me and it was becoming a hindrance because I was already angry at people who harmed me and I also held an anger towards God. So, for me, I let go of religion.

My belief is that if there is a God he doesn't really have any influence in our lives and he doesn't really intervene or even, possibly, care. My belief is that if there is a God he created us and then just let us go on our way.

This belief is easier and makes more sense than believing that there is a loving God out there who would let such terrible things happen.

So, I guess you have to figure out what is best for you. If hanging on to religion is no longer a comfort than it is okay to take a step back. In a few months or years you might come back to your religion and find comfort. If hanging on to your religious beliefs is causing more harm than good than it's okay to step back and reassess even if you don't figure it out right away. It took me years to really form my belief.

As for your mom, you haven't given a ton of information, will telling her make your life more complicated or will she try to be understanding? Does she make you go to church every Sunday?

If she would be understanding and accepting of your struggle it could help to talk to her as having someone on your side can help. However, if she would get upset or try and convince you there is a God or make things more stressful it might be best to wait to tell her until you aren't living with her or until you feel you can handle the 'convincing'.

My dad only just realized my beliefs and he is constantly making comments about 'God having a plan even if I don't believe it'. It gets irritating but I can handle it mostly. A few years back it would have irritated me more/upset me more and caused a lot more problems.

So, assess how your mom would respond and go from there. There really is nothing wrong with waiting to tell her until you are certain of your beliefs or until you are okay with whatever response she might have.

If she does want you to go to church every Sunday maybe you could discuss with her that you don't want to go and see if she will let you skip some. I know my boyfriend is agnostic and has been for ages but when he was a teen his parents made him go to church. He said it as annoying because he didn't really believe but he did it because his parents wanted him to and it was easier than causing a big thing by refusing.

I can't tell you how to proceed. All I can tell you is to do what is best for your mental well-being. Also, in my opinion, sometimes religious beliefs can change with time. You might find that you switch between believing and disbelieving for a while and than eventually you'll form a more definitive answer. The back and forth can be confusing but looking back it helped me form a more definitive belief and I am okay with discussing my beliefs because they are more concrete and when family tries to talk me into believing I am no longer left feeling guilty or bad.

Best regards.


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