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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not a n00b
Beautifuldreams13's Avatar
Age: 23

Posts: 55
Join Date: May 4th 2012

Post Sacrificium - May 23rd 2012, 09:58 AM

Hi. So lately I've been really tired of my best friend. She turned into a real b *** after having decided to join the army anyways I'm still trying even though I'm so done with trying when if comes to her. I helped one of our mutual friend write a poem for his class. We both wrote about half. I thought I'd share. I also did send this to my best friend because I thought she would like it.


A lonely few
Have bid adieu
To send off all the danger
Blood guts glory
Now a story
At all sacrifice for her

A coming home
Without shalom
On a box a flag there lay
Blood guts glory
Sealed tight quarry
Due respect for the cliche

A sad ending
A new sending
A message to those who shan't
Take a stand
Not fight the band
To salute for those who cant

Written by: Bradley and Cassie
I hope you enjoy.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
BillieRose88 Offline
Then I defy you, stars!
Average Joe
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Name: Sofia
Age: 19
Gender: Other
Location: Solla Sollew ♥

Posts: 141
Join Date: April 4th 2012

Re: Sacrificium - May 23rd 2012, 12:17 PM

This is really good! The AABCCB pattern that you have is brilliant!! Please keep sharing your work x

How about a kiss, Saumensh?
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
blurryface Offline
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Name: anathema
Age: 21
Gender: poppunk
Location: city of evil.

Posts: 996
Join Date: April 5th 2011

Re: Sacrificium - May 23rd 2012, 06:43 PM

I agree^^. Sometimes it's hard to write in AABCCB pattern, for me, because I'm afraid people will get lost. But you obviously don't have that problem xD
It's very well written, it tells a strong message. (:

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Beautifuldreams13's Avatar
Age: 23

Posts: 55
Join Date: May 4th 2012

Re: Sacrificium - May 28th 2012, 04:32 AM

Thanks guys I will!!

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