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(#1 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
******** 
Name: BDF
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: UK/London
Posts: 1,950
Join Date: January 28th 2009
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I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 28th 2011, 12:17 AM
Lol... it's been ages since I've written anything really decent and I started doubting myself. But... all I need is the right nudge. There are a lot of twisted rhyme schemes in it goin on at the same time (I'll underline them):
Might be slightly triggering (self-harm mentioned). I'd rather a mod decide though. People are not equal, but at least we can try Rather than pretend that everything is alright Men pretend to be ur friends, but all they really intend Is to snatch your funds and dump you in the deep end And who gives a shit for the kid who aint even got a crib To go back to, without getin his ass kicked Snapped quick like a match stick, every last bit His mum didn't do it, his fuckin' dad did He's mad at it, 'cos every last minute Stretches out longer than a giraffe's dick, he's trapped in it He wants out, but it's such a far vision, he can't even imagine it He lacks decision and feels like life's so distant He wishes he could slit his wrists this instant And end this, endless life sentence, he's not meant for this Constantly jealous of others and defenceless He's tired of getting played like tennis by his own friendships Tired of being tired and not being able to get out of bed Tired of thinking without using his head Tired of constantly abusing his meds Tired of his fake girlfriend and using her for sex Tired of his mum, tellin' him to eat fruit and veg Tired of always eatin' the same sloppy dinner at The the same outlet, tired of all the ignorance Tired of being the victim and all the imprisonment Finally something constructive off my chest. I might write more... really depends how I feel though. It was almost entirely spontaneous lol... and for those who don't know "crib" = home If you've got some spare time, read this:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-s...-d/#post631229 But don't if you're easily triggered. If you're not easily triggered then go ahead.  |
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4 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
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(#2 (permalink))
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Love <3 You
Average Joe
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Name: Katie
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Posts: 154
Join Date: April 3rd 2011
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Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 28th 2011, 01:26 AM
i actually loved it because it reminds me of some of the rap music i listen to.. really good, you should add on if ya get that inspiration
Remember, The steeper the hill... The better the veiw in the end <3
Without Love Im always gonna be lost aren't I?  Your only mad 'cause I'm stronger now and you can't push me around My Daddy once told me I was to weak to accomplish my dream, so I did it . . . NEVER take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway ... |
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1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
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(#3 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: BDF
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: UK/London
Posts: 1,950
Join Date: January 28th 2009
|
Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 28th 2011, 01:51 AM
Quote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USMD4...el_video_title I really feel like finishing it off now and actually recording it. I'll be mad with myself if I don't. lol If you've got some spare time, read this:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-s...-d/#post631229 But don't if you're easily triggered. If you're not easily triggered then go ahead. |
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(#4 (permalink))
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Love Is The Movement
I've been here a while
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Name: Nicole (Nikki)
Gender: Female
Location: USA
Posts: 1,557
Join Date: January 29th 2009
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Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 28th 2011, 02:01 AM
I really like this. It's emotional, relateable and over all awesome.
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."
"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free." Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com Blessed Be! Nicole AKA Nikki Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker  |
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(#5 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: BDF
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: UK/London
Posts: 1,950
Join Date: January 28th 2009
|
Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 28th 2011, 09:20 AM
Hey, I added a bit more:
Tired of being tired and not being able to get out of bed Tired of thinking without using his head Tired of constantly abusing his meds Tired of his fake girlfriend and using her for sex Tired of his mum, tellin' him to eat fruit and veg Tired of always eatin' the same sloppy dinner at The the same outlet, tired of all the ignorance Tired of being the victim and all the imprisonment Wrote within 30 minutes of gettin out of bed. If you've got some spare time, read this:
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-s...-d/#post631229 But don't if you're easily triggered. If you're not easily triggered then go ahead. |
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(#6 (permalink))
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If I were alive...
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Livii-Jelly
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: The Jelly Kingdom
Posts: 38
Join Date: September 10th 2010
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Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
April 30th 2011, 11:49 AM
Wow that was amazing, I loved it! It had a different sort of rhythm to it, fantastic, keep up the great writing!
 x
I like to tell you that I'm ready For whatever's coming But to be honest there's a part of me That loses control ~ The things that used to mean so much to me... have gone the way of dinosaurs... hopes and dreams, and everything... |
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(#7 (permalink))
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 Normality, my friends.
 Jeez, get a life! *********** 
Age: 21
Gender: Alll gurl :)
Posts: 7,280
Join Date: February 19th 2009
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Re: I CAN STILL WRITE :D :D -
May 8th 2011, 09:59 PM
Wow, that was really good. I'm actually impressed. :]
Love the add on too! :]  Not all those who wander are lost. |
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