Distance

[Reverie.]

He sits outside the city; the man within his home,
And he watches all the people go through life alone.
He’s alive and yet not living, while he fills his head with fear;
Fear of being the same because the road ahead’s not clear.
His shadow is possessed with the demons of his nightmares;
Those that push him under the world for which he cares.

To be alive is blessed, and yet life passes by.
He’s too afraid to live but yet so afraid to die.
He passes all the silver and dismisses all the gold;
Flies by all the diamonds and eventually grows old.
Wrinkles tell no stories and yet his eyes have seen so much;
His fingers tips burnt by the fire he did not touch.

[Akito]

I like this piece, and I especially like the second stanza. The man sees how terrible it is to be isolated or feel lonely, and people who regret their isolation, but because of his fear of it, ends up feeling isolated and regretful himself, for the distance he kept from others. It is a wonderful message, and flows smoothly. Your rhyming is spot-on and doesn't clash. Nicely written.

[Colored Shadows]

Wow, Hollie, this is fantastic! Such a deep, thought-provoking poem. I really love how you set the scene and describe everything.

He sits outside the city; the man within his home,
And he watches all the people go through life alone.

Perfect way to open! Instantly grabs the attention of the reader.

Really, wow! Keep writing! I'd love to see more from you!

[Celestial.]

I really liked this as well. You're a very talented writer and I love reading your work. Keep sharing.