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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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is having sex too early bad? - May 1st 2012, 08:23 PM

Is having sex with a guy like lets say the first night you hang out with him a relationship breaker?
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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 1st 2012, 09:28 PM

I don't think it's a relationship breaker, I personally think it's obviously better to wait, to see if you're really truly into the person, but there's no specific time period to wait. If both are ready, I don't very much see a problem. The one serious issue I find is that some people take sex more seriously than others. Some people can just have casual no strings attached sex, and others invest a lot of emotional importance to it (such as myself). Basically, I would advise against it, if you think you might regret it, if the relationship ends up going sour.

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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 1st 2012, 10:14 PM

As the above poster said, it's not a relationship breaker, but it can definitely cause its own set of problems, depending on the participants. For instance, sometimes a person who typically wants to wait has sex too early for his/her own tastes, and he/she regrets or resents that decision, causing a rift in the entire relationship. It's best to go with a natural flow, and if the time is right, do what you're comfortable with doing. If it isn't, wait.

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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 09:21 AM

Personally I wouldn't have sex that early in a relationship, but that's just me. You live your own life and should do things by what YOU think is right and what you are ready for. Not everybody else. But anyways, I don't do it as I said but I don't see having sex that early as unacceptable or anything, and I certainly don't see it as a "realtionship breaker".
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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 10:34 AM

I got frisky with my current partner the first time we hung out with no intention of a following relationship and look, here we are now in a monogamous partnership -> so no, it doesn't have to be a dealbreaker. Honestly, I'm not sure if we'd be together if we hadn't hooked up that night because the sexual attraction is what initially brought us back and let us develop the emotional intimacy we have now.

eta - Forget to mention that this is not my typical pattern, but it definitely worked this time. In the past it's usually been 3-5 dates before we started sleeping with each other.

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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 10:59 AM

I don't think it's a relationship breaker but I wouldn't personally do it. If you feel that you're both ready and okay with doing that then why not? But I'd prefer to wait and get to know the person better and know that I'm really into them before I did something like that.
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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 02:49 PM

I don't think it's a relationship breaker, but it's wiser to wait longer than just the first night. When I got with my boyfriend we had sex after only 2 weeks, but this was only because I had been very close friends with him for 2 years beforehand. I knew him well, and I knew I could trust him. Now, if you had a situation like that, I wouldn't think it would be too big a deal. However, if this is a guy you don't know well and you sleep with him the first night, it could cause problems. For all you know he could only be in it for sex; that's why I personally believe you should get to know someone better and be able to trust them before having sex.

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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 03:26 PM

I don't think it's a relationship breaker, but then again, it all depends on the person. I had a one night stand with my current boyfriend years before we started dating. But, now we've been together for 3 years. However, there ARE guys out there that do see that as a deal breaker. So, you just need to be careful, and do what you're comfortable with.

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Re: is having sex too early bad? - May 2nd 2012, 10:44 PM

That's largely based on personal preference. I wouldn't say it's "bad;" it just depends on if that is something you're comfortable doing. If not, then yes, it might be harmful to your self esteem to sleep with someone on the first date. But if it doesn't, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's your sexual health and safety. Those decisions are up to you, and those choices are your responsibility.

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