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MermaidMassacre Offline
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Relationship Promotion = Sex Downgrade? - August 25th 2014, 04:05 AM

Hello All!
It's been awhile...like a year.

Anyway, I recently got engaged (by recently I mean almost 8 months ago) and everything was perfect. Had regular sex it was great.

Ever since getting engaged we have less sex, if we do have sex there is very minimal foreplay and we pretty much rush into it. And when I say we I more-so mean him, lol. I've brought it up and asked if he was bored with me. Of course he answered no.

So my question is, have any of you gotten engaged or married and noticed a decline in how often you have sex? Or how much time you spend on sex?

I feel like we have just hit that point in the relationship where it's "honeymoon phase is over" and I am not ok with it. I've tried instigating it and taking more control and we still get no where.

Mostly I am just looking for some reassurance that this happens in most relationships. It's just a rut and things will change up. So thanks for any advice or support you can give!

I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
dr2005 Offline
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Re: Relationship Promotion = Sex Downgrade? - August 26th 2014, 12:04 AM

First off, congratulations on your engagement - having gotten engaged myself this year, I'm sure it must be a very exciting time for you both.

I can relate to this, because like yourself I've found that since getting engaged our sex life has dwindled. It wasn't as though we had sex a lot - she has a child from a previous relationship and works irregular hours, plus we don't have our own place as yet so it was more as and when we could really - but we managed to be pretty regular. Since getting engaged, that hasn't been the case - in fact, we're on something of a barren patch. However, a large part of that is down to other factors not related to our relationship status - job situations, family matters, the existing factors I mention above - all of which have conspired to make it very difficult for us to have time for sex. It may well be the case that other pressures are affecting things for you and your fiance as well, so perhaps it's worth talking to your fiance to see if anything's changed in that regard. He may well be being distracted by other things.

Outside of that, there is an element of things settling down a bit after the so-called "honeymoon phase" - there was a study a few years back which identified this. That being said, if your wider relationship is still strong then that would suggest things are okay and that it is just a blip. In any event, just because the "honeymoon phase" is over doesn't mean it's the end of the world - communication is always key in relationships, and if you feel it's becoming a problem the best thing is to talk it over with your fiance and see what you can agree upon. As I said, there may well be distractions or other factors affecting things, and your fiance may not realise the situation given that you are still having sex. A bit of communication is probably all it needs.

tl;dr: It does happen, but it may also be because of other things in his life. Talk about it and you should be fine.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

However bleak things seem, however insurmountable the darkness appears, remember that you have worth and nothing can take that away.

Originally Posted by OMFG!You'reActuallySmart! View Post
If you're referring to dr2005's response, it's not complex, however, he has a way with words .
RIP Nick
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