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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Lack of interest - May 20th 2015, 03:29 PM

I have like zero desire to have sex anymore :/ Me and my boyfriend still have sex but it just feels like I'm doing it for the sake of doing it. I feel bad for feeling this way. I'm still attracted to him and I love him but I just can't be arsed.

It may be due to the anti-depressants I'm on (200mg of Sertraline and 30mg of Mirtazapine) but I've been on those for about a year and a half and I wasn't really like this before.

I've also gained weight over the past year and just feel a bit gross that way. My boyfriend still tells me I'm pretty and stuff but I don't really feel it.


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Re: Lack of interest - May 20th 2015, 07:48 PM

It's normal to go through periods of decreased or no sexual desire, especially if you're on antidepressants. Body chemistry changes over time and the same dose may cause side effects that weren't present before. I would recommend talking to your health care provider about your lack of sexual desire and see if they can address it from a medication standpoint. It may also be psychological. I've gone through periods of time where I haven't been interested in sex and it's usually because I had some sort of psychological stress going on. That may not necessarily be the case with you, but it's worth taking a look at.

Body image issues may also be contributing to the problem. If we don't feel desirable to our partner it can be difficult to be interested in sex with them. Unfortunately if we're unhappy with ourselves it doesn't matter what anyone tells us about our appearance. I would suggest focusing on the things you like about your body. Maybe the weight gain makes you self-conscious, but there are other physical qualities you may appreciate, such as your eyes, your hair, your smile, etc. Reaffirm to yourself that these qualities make you feel good. If there are absolutely no physical qualities about yourself you find appealing perhaps focus on the activities or character qualities that make you feel beauty. It sounds cliche, but true beauty isn't all about what's on the surface. Perhaps you're really funny, or really smart. Maybe you're super crafty, or can draw or paint really well. Embrace these qualities.

Maybe you're struggling a lot and can't see anything good about yourself, and that's okay, too. What's important to recognize is that people DO see things of value in you. Sometimes we just have to rely on that and trust that people are being honest with us, as hard as that is to do.


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Re: Lack of interest - May 21st 2015, 04:34 PM

Thank you <3 I think I may mention it to my doctor. I've been feeling a bit... numb as of late too. I'm not depressed but I'm not too happy either right now. I think it may have to do with my meds.


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Re: Lack of interest - May 22nd 2015, 07:04 PM

Hey there,

In one of your earlier posts you mentioned you are on Depo injections. I read somewhere that Depo Provera injections has this side effect "Some women have a reduced interest in sex, particularly women who are prone to depression." Note that it says "some" women, not all, so your lack of interest may or may not be related to this - but I guess it's worth mentioning in your next doctor's visit.
   
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Re: Lack of interest - May 22nd 2015, 07:21 PM

Hey there,

I have times when I feel like this too. I think everyone goes through stages of feeling like this. Sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered and just want to cuddle and go to sleep, so you're not alone. Definitely speak to your doctor if you've been feeling like this for a while, they may be able to change your medication or your dosage.

Best of luck,
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Re: Lack of interest - May 22nd 2015, 09:14 PM

For me, my implant (which uses the same hormones) has lowered my labido. However, it does vary by person. I also believe in our culture, we're told that we always need to be wanting sex 100% of the time. People have work and school and things to do. We go through phases of wanting it every day and sometimes not wanting it at all, and that's fine. Obviously if it's affecting your life, look into it, but don't feel bad just because you're going through a time where you're less interested. It's okay!


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Re: Lack of interest - May 27th 2015, 12:57 AM

I need advice on this topic...Me and my bf have been together for 7 years and the past severe months I haven really been instead in sex anymore. I love him alot and is very attractive to him and he asks me for it all the time and I turn him down ☹ He has cheated on me in the past so I'm trying to figure out if that could have something to do with my desire in having sex with him. I feel like he's my best friend instead of my boyfriend. I'm scare because I dont want him to cheat again cuz I'm not having sex with him like I use to. Any suggestions?? Curious as of what this means....
   
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Re: Lack of interest - May 27th 2015, 04:57 PM

There are many alternatives to get you back in the game. Have you tried supplements? Have you tried mixing it up? Tell your partner how you feel. Maybe watch some porn and get your creativity going? There are lots of ways to stay into it or get back into it. I've been where you are before just gotta find something that works best for the both of you. Maybe some foreplay??? Let me know if you need anything else! Have fun!


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Re: Lack of interest - May 27th 2015, 05:17 PM

Hey there,

It's a really common thing on the medication you're on. Please talk to your doctor if it's bothering you as they may be able to make suggestions. They will have heard it all before.

Give me a shout if you need anything.


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