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BeyondCurious Offline
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Is this wrong? Where does one research? - August 13th 2015, 09:08 AM

Oh gosh, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be, not to mention way out of my comfort zone to ask others for help. For as long as I can remember I've had these odd urges. I've always been an active reader and one day that curiosity led me to a romance book heavily influenced by what I assume is bdsm. To say I was confused is an understatement. I was 12 at the time and all I could remember was reading about the main character getting put over the man's lap and being...spanked. I couldn't understand why I felt so...right...at the time. It was like everything came into focus for me, and that scared me. I mean, who can get satisfaction from being hit? And I don't only mean sexual satisfaction, because the man wasn't doing it to be frisky nor was it a punishment. She was in a bad place, and he brought her back with a few swats. Long story short, I was repulsed by myself, and refused to even read anything short of fantasy novels until recently. I don't understand why I'm like this, and honestly I'm a little scared. I told my mom what I was feeling and she recommended me coming here to talk to other people who might be like me. So...here I am. I'm 16 now, and still have no idea whether this is just a phase or something real. Honestly, I really don't know much about this lifestyles except that there are dominants and submissive and even then I don't know which I would be. I know this is odd, but I really need help understanding what this thing is. I have no one to talk to, no one to help me understand why I feel like I do. Hopefully, by doing this I can find the answers I need, and be able to talk to people who can actually understand.

Last edited by BeyondCurious; August 13th 2015 at 09:35 AM.
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thumper Offline
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Re: Is this wrong? Where does one research? - August 13th 2015, 07:39 PM

Hi, dear!
First off, everyone has their own opinions about BDSM, so it's hard to find places to do research that isn't influenced by bias, however, there are lots of good resources online that can help you test the waters a little if you're so inclined.
"Be a filter, not a sponge." Is applicable in this instance.
I would also be interested in talking to you, since I've been in the lifestyle for a while now and also know others (my partners and friends IRL) who know even more than I do.

Long story short, there's no reason for you to feel ashamed, almost everyone has kinks, and it can be a really liberating experience to explore what makes you tick.
Feel free to PM me, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have to the best of my ability.

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MermaidMassacre Offline
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Re: Is this wrong? Where does one research? - August 26th 2015, 10:13 PM

BDSM can typically involve pain, but the thing is your pain tolerance is heightened when you are aroused. So what would hurt on a normal day when you are walking down the street, might not hurt when you are in the bedroom.

You're not strange for taking interest in spanking in a sexual way. A lot of people enjoy it as adults. It's different when it's used as a playful thing vs. a punishment thing.

You don't need to feel ashamed and disgusted with yourself. It's normal, everyone has their kinks.

I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
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