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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
7uuzuus Offline
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Question Is loosing my virginity to him a good idea? Should I wait? - December 27th 2016, 11:54 AM

A couple months ago I moved to a new country. My mum's been here for a while and she had a roommate- a forty-something year old. We lived together for a while but then he and my ma got into a fight and we moved out separately. Before that my mum went to our native country for a week and we were home alone together, you could tell he was very attracted to me, we almost completely abondoned the concept of personal space, yet I have never even kissed a guy before that nor have I had any other physical encounters and as he was very experienced I was scared what he'd think of me if he realised (I was very embarrassed about the state of things even before we met, I even exaggerated, when talking to the roommate x, my previous friendship with a guy to an actual relationship to seem more 'normal')... After the wee fight we texted a bit and I visited his place a couple of times to get ours (mine and my mum's) stuff. Don't get me wrong, we had an excellent relationship, it's not just attraction, I could easily spend hours talking to him or texting him and so could he. About a month ago I went to a party, he gave me and my friend a lift. I wasn't among my usual friends as my friendships in this country are not great... And I got drunk, didn't know how to get home and we were texting so I called him and he came to the club to pick me up. While I was waiting for him a random guy encountered me and we made out, just for the sake of it I imagine. It was about two o'clock, roommate X came and I begged him not to take me home, but his place. He thought it was about my mum not seeing me in that state, but now I think I just wanted to feel loved and valued. He generally admired me and I admired him and to feel him care the way he did was all I needed. Not surprisingly, we made out and he drove me home at about 5am. It was friday and we sort of panicked after that, both of us, as what happened between us was beautiful, yet he felt guilty about it bc I was drunk and well way to young and I sort of didn't want to be just another girl with daddy issues (which I am, I admitt). He told me he wanted to end any contact between us bc he was scared he won't be able to stay away from me and that might fuck me up. The following Sunday he and my ma made up and we had great time together. We denied the whole thing for a wee bit, he constantly tried to stop the contact, yet with the new old friendship he had with my mum(she needed it very much bc of terrible work and lack of people she trusted in the new country) it was extremely hard. Eventually it happened again and again and slowly we got over the age difference somehow. We became closer and closer, he's now practically family to me and my mum anyway. Our central heating broke down for a bit and me and my mum stayed at his place for a couple of days and when she left for work we got pretty sexual, we heavily made out, yet I wasn't shaved so I did my best to keep him out of my pants. We repeated that a couple of times and I told him I wanted to stop things between us, I felt overwhelmed, he was really hurt, yet understood and agreed with me. We decided to stay best buds and he drove me to my place. We talked a wee bit, I sorta wanted to make sure he feels okay and he suddenly told me that apparently I had no feelings and suggested it was only physical for me, which I think was to some extent right at that time. I told him to leave, cried my eyes out and after about five minutes he came back. My face was all red and I didn't want to let him in and see me being week, yet he wouldn't go, so i eventually did. He said he was sorry, hugged me, yet I was so hurt I wouldn't hug him back or accept the apology, I told him to leave, yet forgave him eventually. We were behaving exemplary for about a week, maybe 2 and we were spending Christmas together, my ma, him and me. We kissed on Christmas day, them after my mum fell asleep upstairs we made out a wee bit, he rolled the shirt of my pijama up, took of his shirt, so we had some breast&chest kind of skin contact. At that point he knew my body quite well and seeing the way he appreciated it, I felt comfortable with him, even though I usually don't feel good with myself. The next day he kissed me there, we made out heavily, he rubbed my vigina with his penis- he usually makes me feel as if I was in heaven, kisses my breasts, touches me just the right way. The day after that, which would be yesterday, my mum went to work again and we made out, I practically dragged him to bed, we almost had sex, yet I stopped and he kinda thanked me for it at a point. He asked me whether I had sex before and I told him no. He ate me out and gave me 2 orgasms after that, we cuddled. During making out he says it's very hard for him to stop, but he doesn't want to hurt me. Yesterday everything changed. I think I want him to be the one, yet I'm scared of the concept of loosing virginity. Im sure he would be good to me though, I have that lvl of trust, like never before.
   
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Re: Is loosing my virginity to him a good idea? Should I wait? - December 28th 2016, 09:44 AM

Follow your feelings. To have sex or not is a question you'll be asking yourself every opportunity for the rest of your life. There is no right answer.

As long as you use birth control.

That's the only caveat. Get some condoms, or something. Then you'll be safe.

Sounds like you're ready. My experience is it's fun and enjoyable and natural and nothing bad happens.

It's always your choice.
   
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Re: Is loosing my virginity to him a good idea? Should I wait? - December 28th 2016, 03:56 PM

Not trying to influence you one way or another but some things to consider when making this decision. His age-what If you were to get pregnant by him? Even with protection, it is still a possibility. His experience-well, how many people has he been with? What possibilities do you have of contracting something? His relationship with your mom-if your mom doesn't know this is happening (which she may, I don't know) what kind of violation of trust will this bring to your mom? Just some things to think about. You still have a long life to live. Don't do anything you may regret in the future. Don't damage the relationship with those who love you and care for you the most.
   
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Re: Is loosing my virginity to him a good idea? Should I wait? - December 28th 2016, 09:08 PM

I would say the first thing you need to do is make sure it's even legal for you and him to have sex before you consider it.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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