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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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MsNobleEleanor Offline
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Therapy: Subject about sex - March 18th 2017, 07:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am not sure if this would be better suited in the mental health forum area or not.

So I struggle with the topic of sex a lot, in terms of therapy based. I am comfortable otherwise, talking to others about it, giving advice, suggestions, my point of view when asked. This I find natural and normal for me as I am comfortable.

In therapy I avoid the topic of sex altogether because I feel, I am crossing boundaries which I am not, that I feel me talking about it I am being intrusive to myself and my own body (I am not sure if that makes sense) and the idea of talking about sex related topics or sexual health bothers me while I am in session. It could be that, of the sexual abuse I went through as I am scared maybe a question that isn't directed at that but I feel it is and then just, I don't know shut down.

I've built a relationship with my counselor and the topic of sex or sexual health really does not come up. I know I should mention that to him that it is a huge struggle for me. We have a strong relationship where I trust him and talking about those topics feels, I am being intrusive to myself. It's almost I developed a relationship of child and parent, which I don't view him in that authority at all, it's the closest thing I can put it to.

I obviously need to work on it because I need to talk about the details of the sexual abuse at some point, but to be able to talk about myself and my own sexuality as a whole. I just don't know how to do that? Does anyone have suggestions or tips?

It's the only struggle I have in talking about those topics with, outside therapy I don't have those same struggles at all. Kinda like I closed or blocked that off from ever being discussed.

I also feel weird talking about my vagina issues (from the abuse, PTSD) with him as he's asked me a question about something I said, I wasn't honest as it was weird. Anyone else, I wouldn't struggle, I would be honest.

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Re: Therapy: Subject about sex - March 18th 2017, 08:06 PM

Hey there,

Opening up about sensitive subjects in counseling is definitely a difficult thing to do. It's great that you're starting to find the will to talk to your counselor about your history with sexual abuse and the issues with sex that have come up because of that. It's a great step in the right direction!

Taking things slow might be the best way for you to approach this. Starting to bring up the topic of sex with your counselor doesn't mean you have to dive into it all at once and put everything out on the table. Start with what you feel the most comfortable about and work your way up from there. Perhaps you could even let him know that this topic is extremely difficult for you to talk about and that it's going to take time before you're able to fully open up about all of it so he has an idea of where you're coming from.

Do you think you might feel more comfortable writing down some of what you're feeling? If saying these things out loud to your counselor seems too daunting, you can always write things down in a letter and ask him to read it at the beginning of your session. Knowing even the basics of your situation may help him figure out how to approach the topic delicately and ensure that you are not forced out of your comfort zone too quickly. You can even print out what you've written to us here (and crop out anything like the site name or your UN if you don't want that to be seen), as I think you've done a great job explaining your struggle with talking about sexual issues.

Take it at your own pace, okay? As time goes on, you will be able to open up to your counselor more fully about this and start getting the help that you deserve!

Take care,

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Re: Therapy: Subject about sex - March 20th 2017, 05:09 PM

Consider getting a female therapist to talk about this with.

It can be kind of awkward talking to a guy therapist about sex when you're female. That's your natural emotions saying, "This is a guy. Be careful."

He'll understand and won't be offended in any way. He's a therapist, it's his job. He's probably already thinking the same thing, that he'd like to get you set up with a female therapist so you can discuss those things.
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