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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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TeengirlfromMO Offline
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Smile What should i do with him - May 5th 2017, 03:06 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half.... we have recently started doing things. Moreso him doin things to me. We havent had sex officially, and i want to but i also want to please him as he pleases me, i just dont know how or what to do becuase we are both virgins. I need help and guidance. Please and thank you
   
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Re: What should i do with him - May 5th 2017, 07:04 AM

thing is, sex doesn't come with step-by-step instructions. nor can anyone accurately provide those for you, because there are so many different variations and preferences to sex.
it pretty much just comes naturally. a bit awkwardly at first, sure. but that awkwardness will be short lived, i assure you. and as long as you're in a safe, comfortable, open relationship it shouldn't be a problem... rather, it should be a bonding moment.

be sure you're doing this because YOU want to, not just because you want to please him. he is choosing to do things to you because he wants to, and you do not owe him anything. of course, with sex, there is courtesy and politeness, so yeah, it's generally nice to give oral if you get oral.
but that is in no way saying you have to do anything you are uncomfortable with.

once you evaluate whether you really are ready for this or not, it'll pretty much just happen. the best sex is natural sex. by that i mean that putting it on a schedule adds so much pressure and artificial feeling to the whole thing... if you initiate kissing, and initiate things further, it will happen naturally.

best of luck to you~


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Re: What should i do with him - May 5th 2017, 08:40 AM

Well, all I can say is, my first time was awkward. No getting over that.

Afterwards was when I panicked, because I was sure we were pregnant, even though we used 2 forms of birth control, so I don't know why I panicked, and the doctor had to reassure me, and I've since learned that birth control actually does work, so now I'm a bit more comfortable.

So my advice is, don't panic.

Wait, first my advice is use birth control. Then, don't panic.

So, get some birth control. Tell your boyfriend you want to have sex. I assure you he wants to have sex with you and he's been thinking about it for a year and a half, and he's just being polite and gentlemanly by holding off, because he thinks that's what you want, and he really likes you, because any other guy would have left you by now, so tell him you have urges for him and you want to do it with him.

Then when you get to the bedroom you take off your clothes...

...and this is where it's probably best if you stop thinking about what to do next. The less you think, the better it goes. The more you think, the more you get into your head and the less present you are, and you may become lost in thought. If this happens, stop thinking, and just return your focus to the present moment. Just be present with your boyfriend in the here and now in the present moment. Don't worry about what to do or how it's done. You're both doing this together and you're both having fun figuring out how to do this together because it's fun to do together and it's fun to figure out together and it's fun to be together.

Best wishes! I'm sure it will be fine.
   
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Re: What should i do with him - May 6th 2017, 03:15 AM

Thank you for your advice
   
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Re: What should i do with him - May 6th 2017, 08:21 AM

Hey there,

One of the best things about sex is that there's no handbook for it. While there are definitely some basic things that most couples do, every couple enjoys different things.

Since you're both virgins, don't be afraid to experiment and ask questions along the way. When you try out something new, ask him if he enjoys what you're doing or if there's something different that he would like you to try. It's all about trial and error when it comes to this, so make sure both of you are being open with each other about what you like/don't like and any things that you might want to try out in bed.

That being said, your comfort level with doing things is just as important as his enjoyment of them. Make sure that anything you do is something that you are also comfortable doing and, if you're not, don't be afraid to tell him that.

Take care,
Sammi


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