TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
Meme a Day Keeps th Feels Away
Average Joe
***
 
JustTheKeags's Avatar
 
Name: Keagan
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Location: colorful colorado

Posts: 119
Join Date: May 22nd 2017

Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 23rd 2017, 10:23 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

today, my gf asked med to come over to her house on friday, when her parents will be gone. in an earlier question, I asked if getting a bj was the same as loosing your virginity. My gf asked if I was a virgin, I said idk, and asked. I tolder othat I was a virgin, and that my phone had died(so she wouldn't think i wasn't). she seemed very happy and invited me over on friday. Im kinda nervous because the only sexual experiences I've had were with my hand and a blowj0b. any advice?

Last edited by JustTheKeags; May 23rd 2017 at 11:49 AM. Reason: title
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
let'sjusttalk Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
let'sjusttalk's Avatar
 
Age: 18
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: May 23rd 2017

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 23rd 2017, 10:56 PM

If you're not ready to have sex then don't have sex. Any partner that pressures you into doing it or doesn't accept the fact you're a virgin ie. makes fun then they are not the right person for you. You are only 14 years old, it is your choice however to have sex but if you're not ready then there is no point in doing especially so young. Hope everything goes well, and just remember you can say no.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Online
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Heathen's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,395
Blog Entries: 587
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 02:01 AM

I may be of the unpopular opinion here, but I really think you should slow down and think this through. Unfortunately you haven't had a lot of time to do that because the decision is such a pressured one: it seems like you have that one day at that one time to have sex before other plans get in the way, and that may be true. But don't let that, and your urges, do the thinking for you.

It sounds like you really have not communicated much about this at all. The gist I get is she basically asked you if you're a virgin, you said no, and then you should come over Friday when her parents aren't home, yeah? That's not NEARLY enough of a discussion to be prepared for intercourse.

For example: Do you know if she's a virgin? Has she been tested for STIs? Why is she not concerned that you haven't been tested for STIs? While condoms do greatly reduce the transmission on sexually transmitted infections, and are the only effective method of doing so, it's still important to be clear on each other's testing status. I would be wary of a partner who asks if you are a virgin, you say no, and then doesn't ask when your last STI test was. Other things to consider: will there be condoms? Who is providing them? Do you know how to properly use one/dispose of one? Do you have a back-up plan in case the condom breaks? What kind of birth control is she on, if any? While condoms are great, you're really a lot safer if she's also on the pill, the shot, or some other form of contraception. If she's not, can you afford Plan B (it's usually $50 or so)? Can you access Plan B easily?

These are all things you need to consider and talk about before having sex with someone. It's important to be prepared, not just do it on a whim. I know sex is really fun and hot, but if you're not careful that fun, hot time could come with some pretty serious, even lifelong, consequences.

Be responsible, then enjoy yourself. Good luck and PM me if you need anything else.



The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
FallonRose Offline
Mind Mischief
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
FallonRose's Avatar
 
Name: Fallon
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Kansas City, MO

Posts: 289
Join Date: March 16th 2017

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 03:51 AM

I agree with the above members, 14 is a little young to be sexually active with a partner. While we aren't here to judge or tell you to refrain, we do think it's in your best interest to take things slower. I was barely 16 when I thought I was ready to become sexually active but 3 years later and I regret that decision. If you think you're ready than by all means proceed but don't be upset in a few years when you realize you made a mistake.
Though we can't give explicit advice, open communication is important with your partner (like understanding what you and her do or don't like). If both of you are aware of what you like then it makes the experience a whole lot better. If you aren't sure what you like, then that's where experimentation comes along. Sure it's going to be awkward because both of you have limited experience, but that's what makes it a good bonding time.
Best of luck!




Live Help Mentor 4/29/2017
Message me if you need anything.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
Meme a Day Keeps th Feels Away
Average Joe
***
 
JustTheKeags's Avatar
 
Name: Keagan
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Location: colorful colorado

Posts: 119
Join Date: May 22nd 2017

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 06:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanceCommander View Post
I may be of the unpopular opinion here, but I really think you should slow down and think this through. Unfortunately you haven't had a lot of time to do that because the decision is such a pressured one: it seems like you have that one day at that one time to have sex before other plans get in the way, and that may be true. But don't let that, and your urges, do the thinking for you.

It sounds like you really have not communicated much about this at all. The gist I get is she basically asked you if you're a virgin, you said no, and then you should come over Friday when her parents aren't home, yeah? That's not NEARLY enough of a discussion to be prepared for intercourse.

For example: Do you know if she's a virgin? Has she been tested for STIs? Why is she not concerned that you haven't been tested for STIs? While condoms do greatly reduce the transmission on sexually transmitted infections, and are the only effective method of doing so, it's still important to be clear on each other's testing status. I would be wary of a partner who asks if you are a virgin, you say no, and then doesn't ask when your last STI test was. Other things to consider: will there be condoms? Who is providing them? Do you know how to properly use one/dispose of one? Do you have a back-up plan in case the condom breaks? What kind of birth control is she on, if any? While condoms are great, you're really a lot safer if she's also on the pill, the shot, or some other form of contraception. If she's not, can you afford Plan B (it's usually $50 or so)? Can you access Plan B easily?

These are all things you need to consider and talk about before having sex with someone. It's important to be prepared, not just do it on a whim. I know sex is really fun and hot, but if you're not careful that fun, hot time could come with some pretty serious, even lifelong, consequences.

Be responsible, then enjoy yourself. Good luck and PM me if you need anything else.
look. I know you my be against sex, but we have dated for over a year and feel that we are ready. we both got std checks, and she already has some plan B in the house. (it's her mom's) I have a "don't be a parent" box that has a lot of birthcontrol. mine and hers. I think we'll be fine. Im like nervous, but really exited. thisz is both our first time. my buddy, a junior and great freind gave some advice that he was given for his first time. here it is:

Have fun, don't fuck up.

thanks for the support,
-Keagan
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
Meme a Day Keeps th Feels Away
Average Joe
***
 
JustTheKeags's Avatar
 
Name: Keagan
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Location: colorful colorado

Posts: 119
Join Date: May 22nd 2017

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 06:14 AM

we talked about it, and she said that she was ready for it a few months agvo, but she didn't know how to bring it up. She told me that she wanted it to be a surprise of our 1year anniversary of being together. she was really happy to hear that sex was something we both wanted. we went and go some newer, fresher condoms. I am so psyched for friday!
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
del677's Avatar
 

Posts: 516
Join Date: December 28th 2016

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 09:51 AM

get some birth control, typically condoms,
and be prepared to be awkward.

or, if no condoms, no birth control,
then, no sex,
and be prepared for some awkward not sex umm, but you can still do other stuff.
it will still be awkward.
just accept that it will be awkward, and that's OK.

a good way to diffuse nervousness is get it out in the open early on. say "I'm a little nervous." Then it's out there in the light, and once out there, it doesn't seem like such a big thing anymore. It sort of shrinks and dissolves and gets acknowledged and accepted as OK, well we got that out of the way.

don't aim for perfection, aim for exploring together.

follow your feelings; follow her feelings. remember your doing this for her too.

just don't get her pregnant.

and don't get drunk.
and don't do drugs.
and don't drive the car.
and don't burn the house down.
and don't drive the Porsche into the lake and then pimp a dozen women in a prostitution ring to earn $16,000 in one night so you can get the car repaired before your parents return so they never find out like in that movie Risky Business (which was really funny).

Last edited by del677; May 27th 2017 at 08:17 AM.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Online
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Heathen's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,395
Blog Entries: 587
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 24th 2017, 04:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by yeetlord View Post
look. I know you my be against sex, but we have dated for over a year and feel that we are ready. we both got std checks, and she already has some plan B in the house. (it's her mom's) I have a "don't be a parent" box that has a lot of birthcontrol. mine and hers. I think we'll be fine. Im like nervous, but really exited. thisz is both our first time. my buddy, a junior and great freind gave some advice that he was given for his first time. here it is:

Have fun, don't fuck up.

thanks for the support,
-Keagan
I don't know what gives you the impression I might be against sex. Quite the opposite, actually; I'm very sex positive, so I'm sorry if it came across as if I wasn't. I just hold a belief that if people are going to have sex, especially if they're young, they should thing it through and be prepared for all possible scenarios, because although you may be many teenagers are not. You mentioned nothing about STI tests or birth control in your OP; you simply said your girlfriend asked for sex and you were going to do it. Therefore, it would make sense based on such little information that someone, even if it wasn't me, would caution you to ask about STIs and birth control before going forward.

Sounds like you're prepared. Good luck and have fun.



The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
Meme a Day Keeps th Feels Away
Average Joe
***
 
JustTheKeags's Avatar
 
Name: Keagan
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Location: colorful colorado

Posts: 119
Join Date: May 22nd 2017

Re: Girlfreind invited me over for sex! Need advice! - May 25th 2017, 09:49 AM

In my first comment, I said that we had been together for over a year. I was wrong. While talking to my gf today, I realised that we have been together almost a year now. I'm sorry if I confused anyone. Don't ask me to give you reminders any day other than the day you ask. I will forget. Promise.
If anyone knows how to remember dates well, please pm me. I missed my mom's birthday, my ex-dad's birthday, both of their anniversaries, my ex-step-mom's graduation(master in teatching), ect… the list is super-mega-long.

Sorry,

-Keags
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
advice, girlfreind, invited, sex

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.