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J.u.s.t.i.n.e. Offline
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Red face Moving too fast?? - November 23rd 2009, 04:29 AM

My friend is scared that me and my boyfriend are moving too fast sexually in our relationship. We are moving kind of fast, but I don't feel preasured or uncomfortable with any of the stuff we're doing. But I am a little worried because we've been together a month and he's already fingered me and I've given him a handjob. I just don't know if we are moving too fast or not. I'm kind of confused with my friend constantly telling me if she finds out we've done more than making out she's going to be mad.
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Re: Moving too fast?? - November 23rd 2009, 04:44 AM

Firstly, it's your relationship, not hers. How is it any of her business?

Secondly, you're not moving all that past and you'll probably slow it down soon anyway. You'll reach a point that you'll sit at for a few months anyway.

It's your relationship and you have the right to choose what happens or not, not your friend.

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Re: Moving too fast?? - November 23rd 2009, 05:16 AM

Yeah, as long as you and your partner are totally comfortable with the pace, there is nothing wrong. Don't let your friend's opinion make you overthink things.
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Re: Moving too fast?? - November 23rd 2009, 06:44 AM

Don't be worried about that other people think of your relationship. You are not in a relationship with her, do what YOU feel ok doing and YOU decide if you are going too fast.

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Re: Moving too fast?? - November 23rd 2009, 11:30 AM

It is your relationship and your business, is your friend peering in the window when you are with your boyfriend? Hopefully not! So she won't know what you do unless you tell her. So my word of advice? If you do something more don't tell her. And if she does find out and she's mad at you for that...well, I'm at a loss for words.

However, why is she so mad? I think you should take that into consideration before going any further, if you really trust your friend! If she's just not fond of sex or doesn't believe in taking a relationship that fast...follow the advice in my previous pararaph. Does she like the guy you're with and doesn't want to tell you? (If so, apologize and don't talk to her about your love life). Or does she possibly know something about him, like he is just using you or he's cheated on people before? (Not saying it is true just throwing something out there!)

In my personal opinion, you are going much too fast - but everyone has different opinions, I know some people who would say you're going too slow! So, how do you tell if it's too fast for you? If you're uncomfortable, you're going too fast. If you're not uncomfortable, then you're not going too fast. However, if you have even the slightest doubt, it's better to wait - in other words, stay where you are, just don't go forwards. Same goes for your partner, remember if they are uncomfortable you shouldn't pressure them.

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