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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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How do you deal with desire?? - January 11th 2010, 07:44 PM

Sexual desire I mean, how do you deal with it? I'm young and unsure if I'm ready to have sex, but it's so tempting when you're in the moment and heated and I don't know if I'll want to say no next time? I'm going to be seventeen soon and have been in a good relationship for a while.

Last edited by WashoutThePain; January 13th 2010 at 01:35 AM. Reason: No Prefix needed =]
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Re: How do you deal with desire?? - January 11th 2010, 08:46 PM

I usually ignore it, I have come to (mostly) control when it flares up to the point it's distracting. If it's too bad then it's dealt with.
At your age it's natural to have sex on your mind more, your sex drive is getting stronger than it's been before. It can be difficult at times to think clearer when you're 'in the moment' but try to take the time to think about how you will feel after, ask yourself if you're ready, there and then, if you think carefully about it you may find your answer. It might be a good idea to talk to your partner about sex as well, if you're both ready and can talk openly about sex, sexual desires, expectations, etc, then there will likely be nothing awkward about it.
If you can't yet talk about those things freely, it's better to wait until you can, communication on the subject is quite important. But, to the same token, try not to exhaust the subject or plan every little detail.

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Re: How do you deal with desire?? - January 11th 2010, 08:54 PM

Heey. I agree with what the above poster has written.

I'm young and unsure if I'm ready to have sex
This pretty much sums it up for me, you've admitted that your unsure. I understand how you feel though - when your in the moment you start to wonder ''Maybe I am ready?''.

It's always good to have sex when you've been in a good relationship, and can talk openly about such things.

I think though - when it comes comes to desire - it will get to a certain point, and you will stop yourself if you aren't ready for anything. Always make sure that you partner knows how you feel, and you know how he feels :]

If things do go further when your ''in the moment'' always make sure you have some sort of protection too :P

Take Care x

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Re: How do you deal with desire?? - January 11th 2010, 09:15 PM

I agree with Claire.
If you have to question if you are ready or not, and you came on here to ask... then I think you have your answer. If you are unsure then its a no.

To deal with desire... well thats always hard. You just have to remember to stop yourself, give yourself a good reason why not to do it right now and try and remind yourself of that.
Also talk to your partner about it, if they have a reason why they are not ready then that could help stop you as well.
And by talking about it you will understant how far each other are willing to go and how comfortable you both feel.
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Re: How do you deal with desire?? - January 12th 2010, 08:41 PM

Sexual desire is almost impossible to control for me as a male. there was a 12 period where I didn't masturbate at all, and that was more personal than religious or anything.

but the best thing to combat sexual desire? be conscious of it. that's how I did it so long, with a penis

these days though, sexual activity provides me with a release that is second to none from heaven, and I don't know why you'd want to resist. if you feel you're not ready, there is masturbation, but to give up sex completely...is to deny you're human.

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